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Whys it have to not be ok to ask if a woman likes you?

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Temeraire
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01 Aug 2018, 3:20 pm

I am not sure sexting would be a good idea in this case as she has already stated that she is conservative and things seem to be going pretty well.

These things need to happen naturally.

You are doing well Sly, keep going as you are and enjoy your time with your lady :)



sly279
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01 Aug 2018, 3:21 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
sly279 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Spiderpig wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
The safest approach is to let the woman touches you first.


No doubt about that. But it seems many won't touch you; they'll ditch you and find a man who does take the risk.


Sexting before meeting the potential date destroys all these rules that Cannibal talked about, it makes things go faster physically - with zero risk. All of these did touch me (hands, thighs, shoulder) on the very first date when that happened. But with no-prior-sexting dates, things went slowly and to nowhere.

Are you saying without sexting it won’t work out?
We haven’t talked about anything remotely about sex. I’ve avoided any such discussions


For me at least it never worked if no sexting before the 1st date, no 2nd date at all in the without scenario, I know I know...it's extremely freaking weird.

I think sexting already creates this 'chemistry' thing that a lot of women talk about - and when I meet them and I look what they fantasized about, the "chemistry" goes on. Also the sexting in prior scenario makes them see my naughty side, while in the without sexting cases I am probably just another normal below average guy, sexually invisible to them, nothing triggers their sexual thoughts.

I strongly believe, that 'chemistry' they talk about is the sexual sensation/thoughts or mental fantasy (for some fractions of moments at least) during the date. If the whole date period passes and nothing triggered that sensation or these thoughts then they would feel that there was no 'chemistry', and hence no second date.

I think aliens should abduct me and study my weird case. :mrgreen:


This is our 3rd date no sexting.
Past women we sexted a lot but never met up for a date, they ended things before.



The_Face_of_Boo
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01 Aug 2018, 3:57 pm

Temeraire wrote:
I am not sure sexting would be a good idea in this case as she has already stated that she is conservative and things seem to be going pretty well.

These things need to happen naturally.

You are doing well Sly, keep going as you are and enjoy your time with your lady :)



Yeah, at this stage it's too late, i feel it's risky to attempt sexting now - it's a 3rd date already ....you need to go on in the 'normal' path of dating.



The_Face_of_Boo
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01 Aug 2018, 3:59 pm

Spiderpig wrote:
I'd think that when you're sexually invisible to a woman, it's not that she believes you don't have a "naughty side", but that she doesn't care, because you're not up to snuff.


They're extremely confusing and strange, aren't they?



Spiderpig
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01 Aug 2018, 4:30 pm

I guess.


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CannibalCorpse
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01 Aug 2018, 5:07 pm

I dunno I must be weird then, sexting is an immediate turn off because so far those guys were only interested in one thing only.
Sly, do not listen to anyone here. We don't know your lady, we don't know what she likes or not.
Just enjoy your time together and get to know her more. If you are relaxed it's going to be fine as it is going to be natural but if you keep thinking about what some guys on WP said, you are over thinking= stress-too much pressure kills everything.
You're doing fine so far.



Syd
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01 Aug 2018, 5:25 pm

I've always found the idea of phone sex to be disconcerting, but who knows, maybe some girls are into that sort of thing. I suppose you'd need one of the smaller models, like an iPhone SE, or it wouldn't fit. It'd have to be water resistant. I guess you'd have to set it on vibration alert mode and send lots of texts, so an unlimited texting plan would get you the most bang for your buck.



sly279
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01 Aug 2018, 5:27 pm

Syd wrote:
I've always found the idea of phone sex to be disconcerting, but who knows, maybe some girls are into that sort of thing. I suppose you'd need one of the smaller models, like an iPhone SE, or it wouldn't fit. It'd have to be water resistant. I guess you'd have to set it on vibration alert mode and send lots of texts, so an unlimited texting plan would get you the most bang for your buck.


Hope you’re joking lol
Though some women have done that.



sly279
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01 Aug 2018, 5:29 pm

Hope she’s not standing me up. I messaged her last night and haven’t heard from her since
She’s been on OkCupid though.



ltcvnzl
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01 Aug 2018, 5:31 pm

CannibalCorpse wrote:
I dunno I must be weird then, sexting is an immediate turn off because so far those guys were only interested in one thing only.
Sly, do not listen to anyone here. We don't know your lady, we don't know what she likes or not.
Just enjoy your time together and get to know her more. If you are relaxed it's going to be fine as it is going to be natural but if you keep thinking about what some guys on WP said, you are over thinking= stress-too much pressure kills everything.
You're doing fine so far.


I agree with it. I'm glad to hear about how you are doing but at the end, you shouldn't overthink about it and you know better than everyone else here what to do – don't be insecure and enjoy your time.



sly279
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01 Aug 2018, 10:19 pm

Cost $35 so spent total of $75-80 on dates and doesn’t seem there will be another.



ltcvnzl
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01 Aug 2018, 10:37 pm

what happened, sly? :(



sly279
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01 Aug 2018, 11:15 pm

ltcvnzl wrote:
what happened, sly? :(


Steak place was closed for dsy without notice
So we at somewhere else seemed to have good time. Went for walk after where I asked to hold her hand and she said yes.
We got yelled at by homeless person on the path. Walked for while more where she broke the hand hold and called for a ride from her parents. Sounded like they didnt know there were picking her up( so sounds like she wanted to get away from me at that point) I waited with her so she wouldn’t be alone and we talked more and when her parents arrived said by no hugs I asked if she’s want to go out again next week and she said something about depends if she’s with her friend or not(excuse?) i then waited 30 mins for bus. (Glad I brought my gun this time)

So i dont know maybe I held her hand too long
Maybe I said something she didn’t like :(



ltcvnzl
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01 Aug 2018, 11:26 pm

maybe it isn't something you said, or how you held her hand. it can be nothing or it can be something with her. don't feel like you are doing something wrong. i think this is one of more tricky things with dating with low self-esteem, we tend to take very natural stuff as a validation of our negative bias. been there, done that. it's not good nor productive.

from what you said, there is nothing really wrong with your date. ok an annoying homeless person and the steak place was closed, but it wasn't your fault. maybe she had some other reason to want to go home early? maybe she got frightened by the homeless guy, or she felt bad. the hugs thing, maybe she is shy in front of her parents? does she mention this friend thing before?

my only advice is to be cautious to not base your self-worth into relationships, and try to not overthink this.

did you arrive fine at home? for me this gun thing is so weird! we don't have it here, as dangerous it can be.



ltcvnzl
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01 Aug 2018, 11:27 pm

i just thought about something. is there a chance she noticed your gun without you talking about it? wouldn't her be uncomfortable or is it normal? she looked nervous/altered while waiting for her parents?



sly279
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02 Aug 2018, 12:35 am

ltcvnzl wrote:
i just thought about something. is there a chance she noticed your gun without you talking about it? wouldn't her be uncomfortable or is it normal? she looked nervous/altered while waiting for her parents?

Only chance would been when we hugged when first meeting up but we went and ate and walked after. Spent total of 3 hours together agter the hug.