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Dr. Romie: more than half of married women have a backup man

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Peacesells
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04 Aug 2018, 5:28 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Do you really believe that most guys have a long list of choices? Usually it's either the few choices or a lifetime celibacy.

They should legalize prostitution.
Luhluhluh wrote:
That's your problem, not ours. Your overall outcome may be improved if you thought more with the brain in your head and not the one in your pants.

This forum is for exposing problems related to love and dating, if you don't want to help someone with a problem because it doesn't affect you it's fine and you should just leave the discussion, you know where the metaphorical door is.
Besides, I think nothing in the discussion above implies that what causes the problem is the man thinking with his dick instead of his head, that is an unnecessary attack.



kraftiekortie
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04 Aug 2018, 5:29 pm

I’ve always assumed that people can sunbathe year-round in Beirut, since the average maximum temperature is about 15 Celsius even in January.



sly279
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04 Aug 2018, 6:01 pm

Luhluhluh wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Luhluhluh wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Spiderpig wrote:
What's the point of a wedding without some conspicuous spending to show the groom can afford it?


Yeah, in the essence that's the whole point of the diamond rings and big weddings.


The thing is, no one is forcing the guy to marry a woman who is selfish and self-centered. He is perfectly capable of choosing to not participate at any time. If anything he's more at fault for not opening his eyes and being aware of the incredibly poor choice in mate he has made.


Probability wise it would be very very very difficult to find a woman who isn't into these things (What her friends are gonna say?). Look Luhluhluh, I dunno if you'never noticed that in your life but most NT women are very group-thinking , each is very influenced by what other women and imitate the others - look for example the toilet example in outings when women all go to the toilet in the same time, even if they were 10 persons! It's crazy! As if some borg-style signal got broadcasted to their brains.

In a sense, they're very culture-based and community-driven as well, I can give plenty of examples, here's a few:
- I have dated a lot of East Asian girls, one thing that they ALL have in common: they're so paranoid to be exposed to sun! Some would even wear long sleeves when going to the beach and none of those Asians I dates ever does any kind of sunbathing (which I don't like either) . Why? Because they want to stay so white, all of them also use whitening products. They're very obsessed with whitening and hate to get slightly darker.
- On the other hand, Lebanese girls are OBSESSED with sunbathing and getting a tan, as if it's a summer-must ritual, once it's May they rush to the beaches for tanning even though the sea water is still too cold for swimming at this time of year, I ask them why do they go and they tell me it's for tanning, they wouldn't swim in cold water. Sunbeds are also very popular. My Asian girl also noticed how opposite the Lebanese women are to Asian women when it comes to the tanning thing.

These are just two examples are how community-driven women are in general, the wedding and marriage rituals, there is also the craziness about 50 shades of grey books, all these are examples. Can you think of examples in men?


That's lazy. Even if "the average" woman wants something, you're not dating an average. You're looking for an individual.

I get it. You guys want to put every woman in a category and say we're all terrible so you don't have to take any responsibility for your own crap decisions and behavior. It's easier to blame everyone around you rather than admit you make terrible choices.


There’s a reason it’s called average ie most.
Non average people are a minority. Aspies are minority not average. Most such non average women are already in relationships. So I what wait for them to break up or for their hsuandans to die then jump in? No thanks, sounds disturbing and I don’t want to date lady with kids. I want a woman who’s never had kids.



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04 Aug 2018, 7:20 pm

Peacesells wrote:
Booyakasha wrote:
SilverStar wrote:
it cost a fortune to get married


i don't know how much it costs in the US, but here the cost of paperwork is roughly $ 46 for the civil wedding...we didn't spend more than that.

It costs a lot because people want to spend a lot.


You can just go to the courthouse here in the US, and it doesn't cost that much, but most people prefer expensive weddings. Also, even though you may have a "cheap" wedding, it will still cost you a fortune, if you ever get a divorce.



AnneOleson
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04 Aug 2018, 8:37 pm

Spiderpig wrote:
Peacesells wrote:
Make her pay at least half of it and if she doesn't want to dump her as it should be. Case closed.


If you try to make her pay at least half of it, I'd expect her to dump your ass before you even finish the sentence. Remember: if you don't want to pay it in full and more, some other suitor will.

Not sure where you live, but in North America, traditionally the woman and her family used to pay for the majority of the wedding costs. That is how my first marriage was. Now, with so many couples living together before marriage they pay for their wedding with their shared household income. Parents might give a financial gift to help. My second marriage was a civil marriage. Less than $100.00.



The_Face_of_Boo
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04 Aug 2018, 11:42 pm

https://www.quora.com/Why-do-many-women ... ue-in-them

Quora members (of both genders) by far know how to discuss social realities without accusing tones than WP members.



XFilesGeek
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05 Aug 2018, 8:12 am

^ I'm guessing it has something to do with the tendency for some men on here to constantly post studies trying to "prove" how awful we women are, and how the poor menz have it so much harder.

It does tend to try one's patience.


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Luhluhluh
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05 Aug 2018, 8:34 am

sly279 wrote:

There’s a reason it’s called average ie most.
Non average people are a minority. Aspies are minority not average. Most such non average women are already in relationships. So I what wait for them to break up or for their hsuandans to die then jump in? No thanks, sounds disturbing and I don’t want to date lady with kids. I want a woman who’s never had kids.


Then you seek out the one who is a good fit. Once again, it's laziness. You want something special but you don't want to put in the effort to find it. Well, tough. Your choices are to keep looking or to give up and be single and accept it. But this thing about "all women are the same" thing is really old and boring.


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Luhluhluh
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05 Aug 2018, 9:00 am

XFilesGeek wrote:
^ I'm guessing it has something to do with the tendency for some men on here to constantly post studies trying to "prove" how awful we women are, and how the poor menz have it so much harder.

It does tend to try one's patience.


Agreed. Perhaps if some of these guys spent half as much time getting out and actually socializing with other real live human beings and learn to have some frekking empathy instead of spending all their time in their basements trying to learn PUA crap or seeking out "studies" to fuel their confirmation bias, they may actually have more success with other human beings and women overall.


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Peacesells
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05 Aug 2018, 9:23 am

Who talks about PUA tactics on this forum?



The_Face_of_Boo
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05 Aug 2018, 9:43 am

XFilesGeek wrote:
^ I'm guessing it has something to do with the tendency for some men on here to constantly post studies trying to "prove" how awful we women are, and how the poor menz have it so much harder.

It does tend to try one's patience.



No, Quora members are simply less sensitive and more open to discussions about such topics without being PC; I have seen the same topics there that we see here on WP but the female reactions are sooooo different: Some OP posts a study or asks about a generalization; the reactions there from female members there are very different than WP members, many women there admit the generalization and they explain why it exists in a civil and detailed way without resorting to insults and accusations such as sexism and PUA - If you don’t believe me go see the dating/gender topics on Quora; I have never seen such behavior there.

Just take a look at the link I posted for example; someone asked “Why so many women love fancy weddings”. NONE of the female members went to the defensive, on the contrary they admitted this is true, none denied the observation (while here on WP denial of realities is sooo common) and explained why this social thing exists even if they aren’t into fancy weddings themselves. I bet the same question would have caused here the same drama and accusations that we are so tired to hear.
Frankly many members here need to grow a thicker skin.



The_Face_of_Boo
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05 Aug 2018, 10:01 am

Peacesells wrote:
Who talks about PUA tactics on this forum?



None, been years I didn’t see any pua crap here. It is all in her head.

If she is referring to Aspie1. or spiderpig, the guys are more MGTOW. It is an opposite philisophy to PUA, PUA is about how to get a consent casual sex while mgtow is about forgetting any type of relationships and avoiding women. Yes, mgtow is common here on wp, but not pua.



Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 05 Aug 2018, 10:03 am, edited 1 time in total.

XFilesGeek
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05 Aug 2018, 10:03 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
XFilesGeek wrote:
^ I'm guessing it has something to do with the tendency for some men on here to constantly post studies trying to "prove" how awful we women are, and how the poor menz have it so much harder.

It does tend to try one's patience.



No, Quora members are simply less sensitive and more open to discussions about such topics without being PC; I have seen the same topics there that we see here on WP but the female reactions are sooooo different: Some OP posts a study or asks about a generalization; the reactions there from female members there are very different than WP members, many women there admit the generalization and they explain why it exists in a civil and detailed way without resorting to insults and accusations such as sexism and PUA - If you don’t believe me go see the dating/gender topics on Quora; I have never seen such behavior there.

Just take a look at the link I posted for example; someone asked “Why so many women love fancy weddings”. NONE of the female members went to the defensive, on the contrary they admitted this is true, none denied the observation (while here on WP denial of realities is sooo common) and explained why this social thing exists even if they aren’t into fancy weddings themselves. I bet the same question would have caused here the same drama and accusations that we are so tired to hear.
Frankly many members here need to grow a thicker skin.


No, the female user base on WP is used to being attacked due to our sex, and we get tired of it.

I can think of plenty of "hive-mind" behavior among men, but, if I posted about such, I'd get buried under mounds of reports to the moderators. On WP, it's cool to generalize about women, but not men.

It's nonsense. If you deny that women on WP have been the targets of many attacks due to their sex, you're living in a fantasy world.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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05 Aug 2018, 10:09 am

XFilesGeek wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
XFilesGeek wrote:
^ I'm guessing it has something to do with the tendency for some men on here to constantly post studies trying to "prove" how awful we women are, and how the poor menz have it so much harder.

It does tend to try one's patience.



No, Quora members are simply less sensitive and more open to discussions about such topics without being PC; I have seen the same topics there that we see here on WP but the female reactions are sooooo different: Some OP posts a study or asks about a generalization; the reactions there from female members there are very different than WP members, many women there admit the generalization and they explain why it exists in a civil and detailed way without resorting to insults and accusations such as sexism and PUA - If you don’t believe me go see the dating/gender topics on Quora; I have never seen such behavior there.

Just take a look at the link I posted for example; someone asked “Why so many women love fancy weddings”. NONE of the female members went to the defensive, on the contrary they admitted this is true, none denied the observation (while here on WP denial of realities is sooo common) and explained why this social thing exists even if they aren’t into fancy weddings themselves. I bet the same question would have caused here the same drama and accusations that we are so tired to hear.
Frankly many members here need to grow a thicker skin.


No, the female user base on WP is used to being attacked due to our sex, and we get tired of it.

I can think of plenty of "hive-mind" behavior among men, but, if I posted about such, I'd get buried under mounds of reports to the moderators. On WP, it's cool to generalize about women, but not men.

It's nonsense. If you deny that women on WP have been the targets of many attacks due to their sex, you're living in a fantasy world.



You are totally free to talk about generalizations about men - without resorting to attacks ie. men think with their dicks for instance though.
I doubt any of the guys is gonna report you if you talk about it in a civil manner.



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05 Aug 2018, 10:43 am

It really isn't even about PUA for god's sake, it's about acknowledging your communications disorder and striving to improve on that, rather than sitting on the internet, seeking out confirmation bias and lumping all women into being the enemy because you can't affectively talk to them or see them as human beings, rather that some strange alien species that you have no idea what to say or do when you're around them.

Additionally, when the same thing keeps happening to you over and over, and the women you choose to be in some relationship with turn out to have issues, the only common factor is you. There are a lot of guys who choose women, not because they like them or because they have anything in common with them, but because they hope they will give them a positive social standing with other men. And I think men with low self esteem are especially susceptible to this, and then when it continually fails, they retreat to the MGTOW or incel forums to complain to other men and gnash their teeth about how horrible women are, when in reality they have done nothing at all to actually make any attempt to see women as fellow human beings who have just as many problems and issues as they have.


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Peacesells
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05 Aug 2018, 11:13 am

What I understand here from both sides is that if a woman wants a fancy wedding she is evil.