28 Oct 2018, 5:22 am
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,101
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
28 Oct 2018, 6:02 am
28 Oct 2018, 6:50 am
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
^ I am afraid to ask what other things ‘moved’ your imaginations.
My imagination is pretty rich and active
28 Oct 2018, 8:39 am
28 Oct 2018, 1:18 pm
magz wrote:
Marknis wrote:
When I tried speed dating and said I was only working part time, I got looks from the women like I just told them I killed someone and I was also mocked by a female co-worker for my status. It's like you either have to be unemployed (I see a lot of homeless men with girlfriends) or work full time. There is no middle ground.
I remember when I was 13, I noticed that the girls in the class considered attractive were not the ones with the prettiest faces. It puzzled me and I did further analysis which lead to a conclusions that the ones considered attractive were simply the ones who believed to be attractive themselves.
I did an experiment, persuading myself I was attractive. It made a difference - looking in a mirror I started to notice which hairstyle suit me and what colors go with me instead of thinking of myself as plain and boring all the time. In a few months, the first boy showed really a lot of interest in me, starting an innocent, 8-month long first "relationship" I had.
I'm sure it works for the males as well. Even a homeless, unemployed, unintelligent and obese man can believe in his attractiveness and, yes, people feel the vibes of it.
At the school I went to, it was all about appearances. The cheerleaders got the guys chasing after them; I was guilty of this, too. The thing was that I was told I was attractive and should've had the girls coming after me but that didn't happen. My older brother got all the attention because he was athletic looking and I was just average in build. Since then, I've become overweight and pushing into type II diabetes territory.
This year started hopeless and I fear it will end with me still feeling the same way.
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,101
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
28 Oct 2018, 1:38 pm
28 Oct 2018, 9:21 pm
28 Oct 2018, 10:03 pm
29 Oct 2018, 3:32 am
29 Oct 2018, 3:37 am
Marknis wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
Marknis wrote:
When I tried speed dating and said I was only working part time, I got looks from the women like I just told them I killed someone
If it was that bad with that bit of info, I can only imagine how much worse it would be to tell them you're 30 and have never lived independently.
And my mother doesn't think living with her is a problem. She'll tell me the majority of millennials live with their folks but I just don't buy that. Her friends' children that are old enough to live independently do so I don't get why she is telling me the opposite. I tend to think it's another one of control freak manipulations.
I used to visualize that I would be living away from my family when I was at the age I am now with my own family while also having a career in music before depression shattered everything. I actually remember watching an old commercial about these young men waving their parents goodbye while they boarded a bus to college and their parents were sad to see them go. I actually thought that was going to happen to me. I thought life was going to fall into place on its own and all I had to do was walk on a path to get to my destination; I also had the whole God's silly plan nonsense planted in my psyche as well.
You have developed a victim-mentality.
You need to get out of that mentality.
Don't see yourself as a victim of anything.
Also - your problem again, has nothing to do with:
1. Your income
2. Your living situation
3. Your job situation
4. Your appearance
5. Your family
- There are guys who are complete ugly losers who have very attractive girlfriends.
I've known guys in real life who live with their mom and don't have a job and look hideous, and they've had sex multiple times and even had illegitimate offspring as a result.
Your issue is not with yourself - your true problem is finding a girl who is intelligent enough to find you attractive.
You told us multiple times that you have put in a lot of effort to look good in your appearance - so at least you try.
Your issue is finding an intelligent woman.
Since all the women you've talked to where you live are likely idiots, it's time for a new strategy.
You need to focus your search elsewhere - perhaps like this site?
Find an autistic girl, long-distance date her, and then down the road, experiment with the idea of relocating (to be close to said girl)
That way you don't live near your troublesome family and your town.
You can be free, be happy and be with someone who is intelligent enough to like you.
So perhaps PM a few people and look into it.
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,101
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
29 Oct 2018, 9:51 am
29 Oct 2018, 10:14 am
29 Oct 2018, 10:27 am
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
While I agree on his victim mentality thing; I disagree with most od the above post:
“
Also - your problem again, has nothing to do with:
1. Your income
2. Your living situation
3. Your job situation
4. Your appearance”
Not true; these matters affect men’s dating chances a lot; most od the male dating problems are related to these above.
I don’t believe the stories of poor hideous guys with very attractive girls; I have never seen a such case.
Usually the guy is rich or talented(ie. musician) in the “ugly guys with hot gfs” cases.
5. Your family
“
Also - your problem again, has nothing to do with:
1. Your income
2. Your living situation
3. Your job situation
4. Your appearance”
Not true; these matters affect men’s dating chances a lot; most od the male dating problems are related to these above.
I don’t believe the stories of poor hideous guys with very attractive girls; I have never seen a such case.
Usually the guy is rich or talented(ie. musician) in the “ugly guys with hot gfs” cases.
5. Your family
Your post makes tons of sense - because you live in a country with very intelligent women!
You probably are not accustomed necessarily with dealing with low-IQ women.
For much of the rest of the world, it's a different story.
There are intelligent women in America of course - but finding one is like trying to search for a pearl in a warehouse full of clams.
(Many clams; very few pearls)
Marknis's dating issues are not the same as if he lived in Lebanon.
29 Oct 2018, 10:33 am
Fnord wrote:
ShyGirl7 wrote:
Also - your problem again, has nothing to do with:
1. Your income
2. Your living situation
3. Your job situation
4. Your appearance
5. Your family
Since when are these issues NOT important to women? Are YOU married to a man who:1. Your income
2. Your living situation
3. Your job situation
4. Your appearance
5. Your family
1. Has little or no income?
2. Lives with his parents (thus forcing you to live with them too)?
3. Is under-employed or unemployed?
4. Is (*ahem*) less-than-attractive?
5. Has a fundamentalist blaming-and-shaming family?
6. Has little or no hope of ever changing his situation on his own?
ShyGirl7 wrote:
Your issue is not with yourself - your true problem is finding a girl who is intelligent enough to find you attractive. Your issue is finding an intelligent woman.
How can you possibly know what is going on with the OP and how to "cure" him? I don't know, and I've given up trying.- That's the point - the problem has been misidentified and that is why everyone is understandably perplexed as to how to aid Marknis.
Since he has been putting in effort to help his situation, that is just one piece of evidence that the problem is not with himself.
He needs to locate an intelligent woman.
You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink.
He has been encountering too many stubborn horses.
He needs to find a horse that is smart enough to know that drinking water is a good thing.
29 Oct 2018, 10:38 am
29 Oct 2018, 10:44 am
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