Aspie virgins

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Not for me, I prefer the truth, that's probably my biggest social deficit is demanding truth in social interactions. I could care less if the truth is painful or negative, if it's the truth I will accept it. I refuse to tolerate bullshitery.

My theory would be that perhaps for some young Aspie men, females are their special interest.

I was not interested in sports, video games, computers or cars. I was enthralled with young women my age with an awe and admiration as if each day I'd seen them for the first time. I wanted to be around them every second. Fascination was an understatement. I wasn't out for conquest, I wanted profound connection.

I can only speak for myself but from watching people its all about confidence its something I don't have so i keep to myself

The thing is though, you could be a really lovely partner and no one will ever know if you don't put yourself out there.

I saw this because I like this rely shy guy and I'm trying to coax him out of his shell. I don't think he believes in himself, but he has so much to offer.

Why insist on setting people up for failure? Some of us have no chance at all and that is the reality of life.

Because you could be lovely. I can't just assume everyone is a potato.

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Then there are the guys that I think replaced dating and interests in women with running or exercising excessively and they have super inflated egos. There should be a name for this guy… how about ‘Mr. Runaway” or “Gym Jerk” . This perfectly sums me up, I found interests like gaming and excessive exercise that occupied my time so I never had the time to worry about women that were not into me. Like I said before I knew at 16, I lacked the social skills and believed dating was never going to ever work out. I have never bothered asking women out in the real world. I could not be bothered with dating sites because they are boring, take too much time filling in profiles and I could not be bothered sending random messages. I just could not be bothered, dating requires effort and being sociable.

It’s irrelevant if we don’t have any thing of physical value to offer
As women say what use is a lovey guy if you’re living on the streets

If a woman is interested in a guy she will admit she is interested in him. Dating/relationships are black and white and there is either instant attraction/love at first sight or there is no attraction/not interested. Where there is no attraction/no interest, move onto next! There is no subtleness it is obvious interest or there is no interest. I am an Aspie and I see the world in black and white I know that my theory is true because most non-Aspies I know have felt instant connection, love at first sight. I have never felt instant connection and never experienced love at first sight because I am an Aspie!

So I've heard that a 40 year old male virgin automatically becomes a wizard. As I am approaching this glorious transformation I have some questions that I would like to be clear out.

Will I wake up on my birthday with a fully grown long white beard or should I start growing it myself? My beard always turned out scrawny and patchy so I am really looking forward to a nice beard.

Will the appropriate attire be provided (ie. robes and pointy hats) or should i break out my sewing machine? If latter than I would need some specification for the attire.

And last but not least. Will my wand turn into wood, and will it be like a morning wood or an all around 24/7 wood?

But seriously I think that I managed to not attract female attention for so long because I always tended to blame myself for everything, feel shame for the things I blame myself about and feel frustration for feeling shame. In general I am not a type of person that I myself would like to hang around with and that's probably why no female of any species sees me as an appropriate partner.

Just after the diagnosis of AS and starting therapy I have somewhat identified my shortcomings and started working on becoming firstly a person that I would start to like. Maybe sometime some woman will like me for that new person I am currently creating. But certainly not before I will become a wizard.

The reason why people with autism/aspergers have difficulty getting into relationships is simply because of the nature of the disorder itself. It's hard to talk to people, it's hard to read people, being social feels like a foreign language to many of us. It's like trying to play a game without even knowing the rules, you're going to make a lot of mistakes trying to figure out what the hell you're supposed to do. And how are you able to attract a girl, if you can't even talk and form a connection with her?

Not to mention that a lot of people with autism have difficulty regulating their emotional state so they're more likely to suffer from anxiety, depression, and even suicidal thoughts. All of these things make it harder to form a connection with a girl.

The high unemployment rates and higher likelihood of living with your parents for those with autism well into adulthood doesn't help either; many don't even drive and they're in their twenties. Poor executive functioning skills makes it harder for many people with autism to live independently and function in society as an adult on their own. And girls past a certain age usually don't like guys who are unable to take care of themselves on their own, are unemployed and still live with mom and dad past the age of 25.


Also a lot of people with HFA (high-functioning autism) neglect their appearance in general. They don't shower, they don't shave, they wear baggy clothes, all of the stuff that any normal human should do if they want to go out.

I don't know if I am his first. It finally happened. I was so thrilled that we had sex. It was the happiest day I've had in a long time.

I think there are some simple changes any aspie could make in their life to boost their chances. Taking note on your last sentence, a quick scrub up certainly helps. Something simple like a shave if you're expecting to meet potential partners or a shower (obviously) helps. Not a single man or woman will want to deal with someone smelling like Edam yet it's unbelievably simple to remove that deal breaker.

I noticed many obstacles that get in the way of most aspies and you named a lot of them. No car (makes it hard to meet people duh), naturally prone to anxiety and other mental health problems, often don't have a job (makes it harder to meet people and makes someone look aimless), and still lives with parents (again makes it harder to meet people and nowhere to go to actually lose your virginity) If you have a car at least you can find a isolated road in the woods.

Having purpose in life also helps. If all someone can say to a woman or man is "I live at home with my parents and play video games all day long and onto your question of future goals?.......I dunno lol, whatever like" Then you're probably getting nowhere. A lot of people are willing to overlook not being the best with social skills if you're clean and have some degree of ambition (and actually show signs of it). No good saying you want to be a teacher if you're a high school drop out and not even taking basic education courses.

For me, I have trouble finding someone to have sex with in general. The biggest issue is that I still live at home with my mother and many times it's resulted in a guaranteed encounter being to hard to initiate. Second is obviously I'm hopeless socially and the third is that the women often have severe baggage that I just can't handle. I'll end up in a position where I'll have to babysit them which I'll find infuriatingly annoying in the long term.

It took him about 3 years?

[quote="Nades"]
Why do people respond to somebody like years later and expect a response? he must be long gone