Thinking it’s time to give up

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That's actually how it works. Life is more like the growth of a plant than the shifting of gears in a car transmission. You can't just lock it in overdrive and set the cruise control. Darwin said anything that is not evolving, is devolving.

Absolutely. One’s life is always a “work in progress.”

This ^^^

I don't want to discourage you, but getting into a relationship is not the end all be all.

Once in a relationship, you have to nurture it so that it grows (going back to the plant analogy)

Often even the act of getting into a relationship is growing an acquaintance or friendship into a romantic relationship. (Or growing a FWB into an emotional connection)

If I can make any suggestions, that's exactly what you should do. Forget about love and focus on improving yourself and your life. Don't look for love any more. Shake the idea of love off your mind.

I don’t know how to get a date and I honestly get wrecked with shyness as well as anxiety when it comes to interacting with women. The few times I broke out of my “shell” ended up in rejection so my history is marked by failure.

Yes, two options. Accept or Act. For the former: Mentor (ASD) or Life (ASD) coach - what's your new focus?, typical supports. For the latter: Life (ASD) coach. Multicultural (inclusive) relationship. Big hard uncomfortable effort. You may not believe it will work, but if you keep taking a step that way, you might be surprised. I'll be sure to let you know when I've been able to do it (for me, new job = Life (ASD) coach. Inclusive (or independent) work environment).

Accepting feels like throwing the last 13 years away and just suffering until I die.

That is not Acceptance, that is an earlier stage of recovery. Hugs.

But how can I recover if I am suffering to death? My mind also feels like accepting means I won’t ever have a girlfriend and I’ll just forever be the bullied kid who is stuck on the sidelines.

I know how it is to have fears that are so consuming and the accompanying suffering that is unbearable. I've been there. Your mind has a feeling; it's not Truth. There are other Truths. I am not sure how, but it is possible to learn that that feeling is not True and let it pass. Perhaps what is more important here is how to handle the bullying. Just today I was put down by a well-meaning individual; I didn't handle it "well" (it triggered big feelings), but I *did* handle it (stopped the interaction, sent the message it was not ok and I was not accepting it). I've had a lifelong fear that I will be "squooshed"; maybe I can start letting go of that seeming Truth … a little, to start, a step...

Another wasted year is coming to a close.

Why is it wasted?

There’s more to life than “getting (and having) a girlfriend.”

Once you get a relationship, you might find it a bit anti-climatic since you’re putting all of your life goals into that one basket.

I still haven’t even gotten a coffee date, my enemies are still laughing at my failures, I lost a social group and I lost confidence in joining another, and I still can’t write any songs, stories, and draw at the level I wish I could.

But why are the ones telling me that in relationships already? I’ve even had sex-positive people tell me I should accept the small chance I will go through life without a partner.

Putting aside their remark, for yourself, do you? Analogy: I don't want to die tomorrow but I accept that it's a possibility. That said, as you are experiencing, it would be very uncomfortable if life-positive folks kept telling me to accept that I might die tomorrow. Ahhhh, yes, umm, can you stop talking about it?! !! !! Oddly when I was going through infertility and pregnancy loss everyone kept saying I would have kids and that was just as annoying when I was ready to EMBRACE the possibility that I would not. Could they accept that I would go through life without a child? Forwards, backwards, all ways...yet seemingly opposing.

I’m not currently in a relationship.

Sometimes people finally get a relationship after wanting one for awhile and then find that it doesn’t fix everything; they’re still depressed or dissatisfied in some way.

Honestly dude don't you work at a library?

That's not a wasted year at all IMO.