Just avoiding the subject here.

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All I'm really doing is looking for enough modern survival skills to get by on my own until I'm back in touch with more of humanity. I don't trust myself with new relationships until I can make the most of my social awkwardness among old friends.

That's to say I'd rather not be a total loner regarding anyone I know before I feel like a relationship makes sense at all.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

Some days I wish I were better at beer pong.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

But ..... do you really want a girl who's stupid?

I guess I just meant that I wish I had the wherewithal to see social life as a game the way other people do.

It's like everyone's keeping scores on everything everyone does & I've been disqualified my entire life.

I don't even really appreciate being alive today. I'm deathly sick of being a joke socially. There's nothing else to it.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

If I'm honest, the misandry that's so pervasive now is creeping me the hell out. It's quite clear I've been objectified & shunned.

I don't want to be a part of this culture. It's not mandatory that I participate in toxic BS to keep my social life.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

i believe if the OP could concentrate on optimally monetizing his various talents, he will find a measure of peace in the land of financial independence. it is harder to be a social outlier when one is poor, than if one is at least securely middle class.

Financial independence is great & all but I was isolated this way long before.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

I think I'm totally oblivious to the real criteria I'm being judged upon. I'm not rich & I'm not poor anymore, my work is very advanced although I'm not sure how to sustain my pace professionally.

Burnout is another prison, much like impostor syndrome.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

American dating culture these days basically just says I should give up unless I give up all my information to a bunch of sketchy websites.

It's not even about looks or money as much as it's about texting & judging people via technology without consulting tech consultants.

Technology can't tell us anything about a person. It's only storage & displays of information.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

What is preventing you from re-establishing connections with the friends you do have?

I see no reason why you can't seek new connections before or concurrently with longer connections.

What few connections I made, mostly in graduate school, were immense in proportion to what I meant to them. I realized this when tools like linkedin became available. I was a blip in their lives. To me, they are treasured connections that I keep near my heart, even if long stored.

I just feel like I fail to speak the same language people want me to. Being out of touch with so many people makes me feel uninformed about who I am regarding anyone I may meet.

I'm less & less sure of my social footing by the day basically.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

I'm thinking the problem feels like something TechStepGeneration was describing in another thread:

https://wrongplanet.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=384331

People have been regarding life as a brutally cutthroat zero sum game for quite some time. Those of us who don't keep the macho act up like it's our religious duty get treated as social collateral damage & nothing more. Men are held to just as many miserable social norms as women, sometimes more, on pain of total alienation. There's zero recourse for a guy like myself to express emotions without consequences these days.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

Admittedly I'm more comfortable than I'd like to be with isolation but that's why I made this thread, I'm not really content being stuck forever. I'm trying to avoid rash actions & autistic screwups, not life altogether. It's an abundance of caution, not paralysis.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos