Do women simply just dislike Aspie men?

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In all honesty its not like you think, some may feel if their partner was much like them selves they can connect better, understand each other better, when the truth is more often then not your same issues end up compounding with each other making the relationship even harder to keep functioning. I know, I been down that road and learned the hard way. but hey who knows, maybe you will get lucky and make it work for you.

Please take this wish a grain of salt, and no not all women are like this, but its the general over all theme i have experienced. women by nature seems to like feeling secure, and even if you have the same issues, it does not make them feel secure in knowing you will be supportive and strong enough for them. its like, even if you both worked and got the same income, it simply will not do, they want you to try and do even a bit better, it helps them feel more supported and secure, esp if you intend to have children. they want that honesty, but if you show too much weakness they will lose faith and trust in you even they may say otherwise.

There's often both in play, for example you're both more likely to get the whole idea of needing more time alone/struggling to communicate things, or communicate them appropriately, etc, but since it's likely most of one's own experience will be with dating people who aren't also autistic, that they'll still have expectations more typical of everyone than say what would be ideal to be the partner of someone with ASD, meaning the same potential for ASD causing issues exists, but on the other hand they may have more experience getting the way how sometimes the way they want to read a situation is probably wrong, just stfu and accept the explanation given, so they might at least sometimes remember to be more sympathetic to those concerns.

You know, supposing they manage to meet for real and actually agree on crossing that threshold instead of just how nice it would be to consider maybe crossing it as a hypothetical in a completely non-committal way. You know, one of the ways those of us with ASD might be prone to sabotaging relationships that we might have potentially gotten to be in had we realized we had the metaphorical contract in hand and just forgot to return it with a signature.

Or maybe I'm alone in that experience.

Rather the opposite. They drink to feel less restricted to act against their nature and to care their problems less. In vino veritas. That's causes them to feel better.


An abstainer party is rarely fun because the people restrict themself to much. For this they expect others to drink as well.


May be may or be not. Women do care about you and your social interactions in a calculative way. They may approach you once you act in a dominant way towards other guys even if you are friendly towards the others. It's because of that hierarchy nonsense that calculative women are after. Guess they don't have feelings. But you are less likely to get in trouble with other guys once you are with friends.

Well, maybe I am.

Maybe I’ve had the luck to run into a small selection of NTs who have taken it upon themselves to simply and brutally explain how the world works from their perspectives, and how they think I should adapt in light of that.

Maybe I’ve developed a special interest in how humans do human and pored over tomes of history, anthropology, sociology, evolutionary biology, political theory, economics and philosophy until some of my experiences, both bad and good, started to make some kind of sense.

Maybe I have a wife who’s taken great pains to help me comprehend how to play along sufficiently, and her take on why this can work and is necessary.

Maybe I have a high tested IQ and am bright enough to have figured a few things out for myself.

Or maybe all of the above.

Regardless: if I have gained a small insight or two which may help someone younger than myself along the way to achieving a goal they wish to fulfil: why not offer them up for their consideration?

And if they wish to resign themselves to not doing so: well, I can always recommend reading through the ancient stoics in the hope that will help them do so without resentment or self-pity. Certainly helped me accept the gap between what I expected and what I can get from life.

Are you talking about reading something like the satyricon of Petronius?

I was thinking more along the lines of Epictetus, Aurelius & Seneca the Younger, rather than the satirical works of the era.

There seems to be a lot of that going around. Indeed. It seems that others feel the same way, and they are equally appreciated for their efforts.Sadly, if they refuse to attend to voices of experience that are still alive, then they will be more unlikely to attend to the voices of the First Philosophers. Very sad.

Aye.
We can but try: all else is beyond our control

Satyricon satirical? Doubt that but it's funny to read and I guess it somehow belongs to this forum...

I think you're correct that most people (whether autistic or not) who have significant difficulties attracting a romantic partner also struggle with making friends.

While I've been able to forge a few lasting friendships throughout my life, I've always had a difficult time making new friends from scratch, and I've had very little success making female friends.

It would make sense that the skillset needed to make friends would overlap with the skillset needed to find a romantic partner, and those who experience difficulties with the former may also experience difficulties with the latter.

Which means that Rick and Marknis should use the "Social Skills and Making Friends" forum more often, more than L&D.

I don’t know how that would help.

See Inquisitor's post above, the skillsets overlap.



This has been my personal experience: the better I got at making friends, the better luck I had getting dates.

Well, I can't speak for women in general, or even women on the autism spectrum, because I relate so little to them, and I have exactly zero experience when it comes to dating and relationships, but I can say that giving up doesn't help anything. I know how awful rejection feels (I may not have ever experienced it in a romantic sense, but I have absolutely felt it in other ways), but how do you expect a woman to take a liking to you if you won't even talk to her? The past does not set the future in stone, and it really is true that not all women are the same any more than all men are the same. So while I don't have any real advice to give, I can (and do) encourage those seeking a relationship not to completely give up hope. All that will do is leave you wallowing in misery for the rest of your life.

(Please note that I am by no means guaranteeing anything, just pointing out that even a small chance is better than no chance.)

Because many of the skills are the same. Of the people who sometimes attempt to make themselves helpful in your threads, how often do you find yourself making an effort to contribute to their well-being later on?

Feeling an inclination towards doing that and judging things well-enough to feel fairly confident it will be appreciated when you act on that inclination on is an example of one of those skills.

Also;



If you tend to justify not initiating interactions with people as well, it won't get a relationship this time either, you're likely going to use that justification so often that you won't ever be interacting. Well, for any sort of game where the odds are highly linked to the number of times you play, how the hell can you ever win if you don't play at all? At least the other category of insecure guy has figured that one out, that's why they try to have as many interactions as possible and make sure that they're all friendly. They'll deal with being slighted and rejected far more than you or I, but they'll also have a higher level of success because they're playing the game far more often. It's tiring, so I get that it might be harder for someone like you or I to sustain, but there's people on here who fit that stereotype to varying degrees, so it's not as though it's impossible for someone with ASD to take that approach.