who here is married/in a relationship with another aspie?

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I don’t speak or understand Japanese which would be required, I am as some point out I. Here,meanly, not up to standards on grammar and spelling(despite my hard efforts)
But it wouldn’t matter I’m not handsome westerner. There’s plenty of asian students attending college here, non have every matched with me. Also it’s apparently wrong for western men like myself to find asian women attractive.

No the current demand is for native western speakers. Japanese people want to improve their English from native English speakers and no prior knowledge of Japanese is required.

In terms of your local colleges they will also pay you to volunteer to speak to groups hot Asian girls who want to improve their spoken English and learn about life in America. I am not kidding!

I believe the two longest relationships I had before getting married were with women who were on the spectrum although the first of these may have just been Broad Autism Phenotype. It only recently occurred to me she might have been. The other one was inarguably weird, oddball, kooky, quirky, however you want to say it.

They were very different from each other. The one common denominator was that I was able to spend hours/day together with either without frequent personality clashes or arguments, even if the level of emotional communication left something to be desired. At the risk of offending somebody, both also had some predisposition to promiscuity, at least in comparison to what I think most people would consider the "norm" for a young woman. However that manifested in radically different ways in each.

After I got engaged, I learned that another young woman of my acquaintance had in fact been interested in me romantically. When I think about it, she was the personification of a female nerd, and the fact that she had been unable to make her feelings known to me until after she learned I was engaged, would seem to suggest she was on the spectrum as that seems typical. I can imagine a different world in which I could have become married to her, but TBH I think it would not have been a smart thing to do.

My wife is from an upper-middle class Jewish family so although not by any means "foreign" she is most definitely from a different subculture. Both of us grew up in a city in which, when I was young, the Jewish community (even secular) traveled in distinctly separate circles from the rest of the population.

Yes I never had a stable relationship prior to marriage. The NT girls I knew friendzoned me but happily slept with "losers" despite telling me what a nice/stable guy I was. Never did understand at the time but now I do.

To quote Cyndee Lauper "Girls just want to have fun" - stable/nice guys are boring but tolerable and good for the occasional conversation. I remember having a phone call from a girl I knew at 3am in the morning asking me if she would get pregnant if a guy did....etc etc....(censored to adhere to WP rules and policies)

My best guess is that A) the 'loser' such as a drug dealer, criminal, bad-boy, troublemaker, womanizer, cheater, etc. is a hot boy-band like quality to get the girls interested and excited about unpredictable potential B) the 'losers' had better personalities that us boring aspie men

Yes you are on the ball. The losers were guys who were not looking for anything other than sex. The very males feminists complain objectify women. Yet all the single women I knew were happy to have these dudes as FUBUs.

What is a "Fubu"?

fu** buddies

NT girls have friend zone boys whom they like but only as friends and may return to when they are in their 30s if they are still unmarried and they are bored of their FUBUs or they start to look less alluring (like a bird in the hand or one in reserve they come back to their friendzone boys)

But for fun and entertainment they have FUBUs who are guys they go to parties with and sleep with when the mood arises. Some of these might end up as boyfriends. Some don't. If any of them become rich then they become husband material.

The latter are also called fu** boys

Wow, girls are weird

NT girls yes. That's one of the reasons I looked abroad for a wife.

But did you tell her you were aspie and explain the limitations for her? Otherwise, a woman from abroad may expect that you will be NT underneath..only to feel lonely and left out by your autism later on?

I had a pair of these FUBU guys invite two of their female friends on a group bus trip with the implication that they would hook up with two girls who were both almost 30 and were their friends with hook up potential.. the two girls went expecting that the two FUBU guys would spend time with them.. instead, they dropped the girls in favor of younger girls on the bus trip, and ignored them all through the trip! Except once, one of the FUBU guys demanded sex from one of these girls and then told her she was crazy and left. The girls had a terrible boring time on the bus trip and were miserable throughout, having waste their precious vacation time which they did not have much of. One of the girls was cultivating a relationship with a boring man 'who was her only chance because she almost 30', and blamed the main FUBU guy for ruining it for her by distracting her from the boring boyfriend that was having second thoughts about her now that she went on this trip.

Feminists ignore the underlying emotions that rule and guide women - for example, I noticed women were getting turned on / excited by having men engage in fights or potential violence, especially if it was over a disagreement, 'cock fights', or over a girl. The women also enjoyed sadistic and mean stuff like telling a guy to do something stupid and then watch him fail, or make fun of a naive guy.

That is maybe what I will try to do - get a nice car and just look for sex) The problem though is that underneath that the FUBU guys were still NT. If you are an aspie with a FUBU attitude - there is still nothing for the woman to potentially have a fun relationship.

Sorry brother, I'm NT (for disclosure)

I think the derogatory term nowadays on the internet is "simps" - guys who persevere with a girl in the hope she will have sex when all she is doing is keeping him in the friendzone. I wasted many precious years on such NT girls.




One of the dangers in the current generation of young men who are sick of it. They are sometimes called incels. While I don't agree with their philosophy I do understand the frustration and where they are coming from. The problem is all the nice decent NT girls were all locked into relationships in highschool. What you are left with in the 20s are party girls with their FUBUs.

To the original poster Chain: in retrospect, my first love was ASD-like. We were both undiagnosed; he may still be. The relationship did not continue (communication failure), but it was valuable - I remember it fondly.

To Face of Boo's theory: When I dated someone within my culture they were ASD-like. I married an NT, who is an immigrant from a very different culture. My ASD-like BFF found a partner in her 40s: an NT immigrant from a very different culture. Interestingly, my ASD-like ex married an immigrate (NT? ASD?) from a different culture too! I have an ASD co-worker who married within his culture: also ASD. My ASD-like mom bucked that theory and married an NT within her culture, but she says she had limited options (and is currently addicted to a foreign TV soap).