I shot my shot

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Most autistic guys, myself included.
Are you sure he isn't on the spectrum?

I am sure you will sort him out, over time.
If you 'snag' him, I hope he is worth it.

Good point.
This needs to be sorted out, but it might only be a problem if Tuune is looking for a life partner, rather than a BF.



Absolutely.

Does he have a history of having GFs?
Is he gay?
If so, does he want to keep it a secrete?

Something/k to think about.

Maybe he recently took the vaccine .

Spring is a good time for a wedding.
The season of budding growth and promise.

Animals get 'frisky' at that time of year, and we are, after all, simply intelligent sentient animals.
Well, from a hardcore atheist's perspective, in any case.

Tuune is a *very* impressive young woman, yes.



Too pushy, imo.

If things work out, this could be classified as blissful torture, in hindsight.



If it wasn't for covid, I would advise touching his hand with yours.
Skin-on-skin contact is hard to misinterpret.

To Whale Tune
sounds very positive
if he wasn't interested, he wouldn't have met with you.

He may just be shy and or not very experienced with girls.
Which isn't a bad thing. In fact, I imagine if you want to be with him,
you don't want him being the "ladies man" type who goes after every woman in sight.

In my experience, from such things, great things can develop.
Just have to keep on pursuing you, some times, it takes for things to develop.
Some people are a bit slower than others and as you pursued him, it may take him a little
time to get adjusted to the idea.

All sounds very positive. Well, hopefully for you, there wont be any of the religious conflict
that i mentioned. Sincerely say so. As what i warned you of previously, did happen to me and it
did ruin my life. But the woman who i was involved with wasn't you nor your prospective.
And had her own particular "dynamic" which also added to the problems.

But still, i hope all goes well and its good for you! and that you both end up very happy!! !

I... think I should just blatantly tell him I like him and want to go on an official "date."

This has all been too ambiguous. Bad idea to just ask to get food. College students get food with one another all the time. I am still unclear if we went on a date or what we thought... and I "shot my shot" like a week ago.

Okay, I just need to see him in person and tell him.

You owe it to all of us to get this situation resolved, pronto.

Yes. I think it would be a good idea for you to do this.
This also may get him to explain if there are any restrictions imposed on such a relationship due to religious reasons.

I was thinking about what you said about your meeting with him. You said that the opportunity for you both to speak freely was there due to one of his friends being sat close by.

Thinking about my experiences with a religious girl, some religions (especially those who forbid sex before marriage)
will force young ones to always have a chaperone present during any times that you both are together in order to prevent you two getting too close and having sex.

Not all religious people do this, but it would be worth you clarifying as to whether this is why his buddy was hanging about the first time you met up.

As obviously, if you had plans to have sex with him before marrying, or perhaps even having sex with him and then not getting married, this may be a problem if he or his religious leaders forbids such activities.

As previously mentioned in my first reply, this is how it is sometimes when it comes to getting involved with religious folk, so can be difficult from the start.

If he is serious about his religion, it may require you to convert in order to be together.
And if you do convert, it still may require you to get married before you can have sex.

Sorry to be so blunt, but this is how religious people can be, which I myself didn't understand when I got involved with my ex-wife. If i had known what was involved to simply go out with my ex-wife, i wouldn't have bother.
As I didn't believe in her religion so I was always an outsider and didn't like the life of being told what to do by some religious nerd, who more often than not didn't keep his own religions rules as well as I did, even though i didn't even believe in his Religion.

So. Yup. I would get him to clarify re chaperoning if i were you.

I sincerely hope for your welfare that it isn't the case, but it does all sound a little too familiar to me.

If it does go the religious way, you will have a lot of thinking to do, as it is a massive decision in your life.
Do you convert which means learning to live as a Jewish person, or do you not, and find someone somewhere else.

From my understanding, people who are highly religious don't generally do "dating" unless they aren't practising members of the religion. So this is something you will have to find out, before you get too deeply involved, and you get hurt or heart broken...

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news. Religious relationships are often complex, and not always understood by us non religious people. Not a life that i want to live.
Good luck.

Sometimes we just like to spend time with people who we like and who like us back. I don't know what his thought process is on religion.

It is easier being an atheist.
Eternal damnation, but freedom of choice.

Sure, in normal terms. It is normal to hang out. And nothing wrong with that. Although, i would say that generally speaking people of the opposite sex often have more than just a hang out type of interest.
But this of course depends.

From what you have described your brothers mate as being Jewish, I would just be careful, as the if the guy is from a religious family, he may be brought up to take his religion very seriously. Some are.

Although, on the other side of the coin, I also went to school with a kid who was born Jewish but who had the worst morals out of all the people who i went to school with, and the worst problem with infidelity out of all the people I have ever met.

I have encountered during my life people from a strict religious background too, as I mentioned, my ex-wife and her beloved Jehovah Witnesses.

The JW's are a strange bunch in terms of their religious beliefs. They are very strict when it comes to how they separate the "true believes" aka The Jehovah's Witnesses, from the non-believers, (everyone else, aka the devils people).

Members of the JW's are forbidden to court or even hang out with people who are not JWs.
The JWs also forbid members of the opposite sex from hanging out, whether members of the JW or not.
Generally speaking, members of the JW are not allowed to hang out with non-baptised JWs.
If a JW does get involved with a non-JW, then, they try and convert the non-JW to become a JW.
And if the JW wants to hang out with the non-JW, then they have to be accompanied with a JW,
who is there to police them, stop them from breaking their vows of celibacy.
If the non-JW were to get baptised, even then, the two JW's are not supposed to hang out together, unless
they are accompanied by a JW to police them, right up until the day they get married.

I went through all of that, and although i tend to be spiritual in nature, i was not prepared for being treated like
the devils evil temptation of the innocent JW girl, getting psychologically bullied by bible study nerds etc.

I came from a background in art / music / recreational drug culture etc.
Quiet different to the religious lifestyle that was enforced upon me i can tell you.

Anyway, I am just warning you that the guy that you mention, may also have restrictions enforced upon him,
so best to make sure before you get entangled.

For example, some of the JW kids, are brought up as JWs, and there is extreme pressure for them to stick with the religion, as if they drop out, they get "dis-fellowshipped", which means that their friends and family will turn their back on them and they will often lose their inheritance (which in some peoples cases can be a significant amount of money).

So. When it comes to religious people, relationships can be tricky, as when parents and family are serious about their religion, they may also really pressure the kid to conform to their wishes. Which in itself can mess their heads up.

I don't write this to annoy you or to cause you distress, and I know nothing of you or this guy.
I just know what i have learnt from what I feel may be a similar experience.

I hope for yoursake you do not have to go through the same kind of crap i went through
as i could have got involved with loads of other normal people when i was the age i got involved with this girl
and in hindsight what i lost just to be good to this woman was a great deal, and how she treated me during and after the relationship was really a horror story. But one that I have never been allowed to tell.
But that's another story.

Just my words are to help. Hopefully, my advice is unneeded and everything will be cool.
for your sake.
just make sure first, as there is nothing worse than getting involved with a religious person who's religion
will hate you for not being a member of their religion. religious people can be nuts, and the more of them together,
the more they convince each other that being nuts is the only sanity in life.... so just be aware...

good luck otherwise
I think you have a lot going for yourself
which i am sure many of the other members of this forum also agree with

but also i am sure loads of others in the world will do so tooo!
good luck

I think it's unfair to compare judaism with a cult like JW,

/Mats

A religion like Judaism is really a big tent with many different beliefs within it, JW is a much more specific belief system (that is cultlike in many ways).