auntblabby
Veteran
Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 114,583
Location: the island of defective toy santas
21 Feb 2022, 12:14 am
Pepe wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
ok, how does one grow together with another? that is aside from the nagging question of how does one connect to another in the first place? like a cat watching a human use a doorknob. 
nobody here seems able or willing to explain this, like it is a secret among the in-crowd of beautiful people high-functioners.
nobody here seems able or willing to explain this, like it is a secret among the in-crowd of beautiful people high-functioners.IMO, the most important thing is that there is mutual attraction, and I definitely don't mean simply a physical one.
Without this, I can't see a mutually luving relationship ever developing.
being on the same wavelength. not being an outlier. being just like all the others. being a cookie cutter human.
auntblabby
Veteran
Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 114,583
Location: the island of defective toy santas
21 Feb 2022, 12:16 am
21 Feb 2022, 12:24 am
Velorum wrote:
Not having to mask in order to meet someone else's needs at the expense of my own mental health.
Three failed marriages. They were all NT's and I have longstanding trauma and PTSD as a result.
We are all different of course, but for me mixing neurotypes doesn't work. It took me many years to understand that I relate much better to other autistic people.
I am at the beginning is a long distance relationship with an autistic woman with a similar profile to me - one thing that we got straight at the beginning is that neither of us wanted to live with anyone on a full time basis again. And we are both determined not to get married again.
Three failed marriages. They were all NT's and I have longstanding trauma and PTSD as a result.
We are all different of course, but for me mixing neurotypes doesn't work. It took me many years to understand that I relate much better to other autistic people.
I am at the beginning is a long distance relationship with an autistic woman with a similar profile to me - one thing that we got straight at the beginning is that neither of us wanted to live with anyone on a full time basis again. And we are both determined not to get married again.
That's exactly what I'm doing now Velorum.
I could have written this post.
In fact, maybe I did?
I'll never live with anyone or get married again.
I made it clear on Date 1.
More power to you.
To Pepe - Yes a relationship can be romantic and sexual, if it evolves in that direction, but that doesn't mean the people have to live together or get married. You don't have to call it "friends with benefits" either, unless you want to. My partner and I spend time back and forth for a night or two, or even three
but always have our own place to call home. We'll never comingle our money or assets, or risk becoming codependent, even though we're monogamous and we hope to be in this for the long haul - without a need for lawyers if we change our mind. It would be nice to have a full-time partner in an ideal dream world, but I know from hard-won trauma and my stubborn autistic needs, I can't cope without my space. I can't negotiate and compromise 24/7. I can't even share a bed to sleep without freaking out, because of sensory reasons.
I still consider myself single, in terms of the joys of being alone and being autonomous.
21 Feb 2022, 3:01 am
goldfish21 wrote:
Pepe wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
Just because I'm single doesn't mean there aren't people in my life, though. I've been renting from my parents for a decade, my brother lives nearby, so does my sister in law and friends and other family members. I have coworkers, tons of friends from the beach etc. Plus online friends I've rarely or never met. I'm certainly not lacking for anyone to run any crazy ideas or big purchases by. The car purchase idea I definitely ran by others and I'm taking my retired mechanic uncle and one of his collector car friends over to the island to inspect the car before I hand over cash.
I simply buy new cars with 5-year manufacturer's warranties.
I have one of those, too. I bought it brand new about 6 years ago, paid for almost 1.5 years now, no problems.
This one is a gas guzzling classic with a pimp coke dealer paint job on it.
You keep a car for 6 years?
OK...
auntblabby
Veteran
Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 114,583
Location: the island of defective toy santas
21 Feb 2022, 3:11 am
21 Feb 2022, 3:16 am
IsabellaLinton wrote:
That's exactly what I'm doing now Velorum.
I could have written this post.
In fact, maybe I did?
I'll never live with anyone or get married again.
I made it clear on Date 1.
More power to you.
To Pepe - Yes a relationship can be romantic and sexual, if it evolves in that direction, but that doesn't mean the people have to live together or get married. You don't have to call it "friends with benefits" either, unless you want to. My partner and I spend time back and forth for a night or two, or even three
but always have our own place to call home. We'll never comingle our money or assets, or risk becoming codependent, even though we're monogamous and we hope to be in this for the long haul - without a need for lawyers if we change our mind. It would be nice to have a full-time partner in an ideal dream world, but I know from hard-won trauma and my stubborn autistic needs, I can't cope without my space. I can't negotiate and compromise 24/7. I can't even share a bed to sleep without freaking out, because of sensory reasons.
I still consider myself single, in terms of the joys of being alone and being autonomous.
To each their own. <shrug>
I was ritually abused as a kid...
Manipulated into becoming a social pariah...
Was suicidal for a decade...
Psychologically and physically abused by Gang-stalkers for over 50 years...
Virtually every meaningful relationship was destroyed by them...
Put into hospital via a fake traffic accident by my own government's black-ops team...
Live as a subrban hermit...
You have options I don't have, and vice versa.
Would you like to swap life experiences?
Or call it even?
21 Feb 2022, 3:19 am
auntblabby wrote:
i kept mine since 1997, april.
Goldie and I have a "thing" going on here, that most may be unaware of.
auntblabby
Veteran
Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 114,583
Location: the island of defective toy santas
21 Feb 2022, 3:24 am
Pepe wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
i kept mine since 1997, april.
Goldie and I have a "thing" going on here, that most may be unaware of.
ah so.
21 Feb 2022, 4:02 am
auntblabby wrote:
Pepe wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
i kept mine since 1997, april.
Goldie and I have a "thing" going on here, that most may be unaware of.
ah so.
It is *not* in my nature to seriously brag.
21 Feb 2022, 11:41 am
Pepe wrote:
Misslizard wrote:
I always get the last slice of cake , pizza or bottle of cider.
The toilet lid is always down.
I have complete control over the tv remote and programs.
No arguments about the room temperature.
I can drink right out of the juice bottle whenever I feel like it.
The hot water never runs short.
I don’t have to share my stash.
The toilet lid is always down.
I have complete control over the tv remote and programs.
No arguments about the room temperature.
I can drink right out of the juice bottle whenever I feel like it.
The hot water never runs short.
I don’t have to share my stash.
Would you like a foot warmer?
I don't mind the smell of cheese.
I hope you don't mind the smell of skunk.
I’d worry you’d go feral and chew the heads off my chickens and geese like previous skunks.
goldfish21
Veteran
Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
21 Feb 2022, 12:11 pm
Pepe wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
Pepe wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
Just because I'm single doesn't mean there aren't people in my life, though. I've been renting from my parents for a decade, my brother lives nearby, so does my sister in law and friends and other family members. I have coworkers, tons of friends from the beach etc. Plus online friends I've rarely or never met. I'm certainly not lacking for anyone to run any crazy ideas or big purchases by. The car purchase idea I definitely ran by others and I'm taking my retired mechanic uncle and one of his collector car friends over to the island to inspect the car before I hand over cash.
I simply buy new cars with 5-year manufacturer's warranties.
I have one of those, too. I bought it brand new about 6 years ago, paid for almost 1.5 years now, no problems.
This one is a gas guzzling classic with a pimp coke dealer paint job on it.
You keep a car for 6 years?
OK...
It's probably the longest I've kept any car. There's absolutely nothing wrong with it so why replace it ? Cars, insurance, and especially gas are very expensive here vs. local incomes - and other costs of living are astronomical, like housing and food. Besides, the average age of a car before it becomes uneconomical to repair is 14 years - and here in Vancouver they don't rust away since we don't get snowy winters requiring much salt on the roads so cars will easily last 25-30+ years before they're scrap metal.
The one I'm going to (probably) buy tomorrow is 53 years old.
_________________
No
for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.21 Feb 2022, 6:28 pm
Misslizard wrote:
Pepe wrote:
Misslizard wrote:
I always get the last slice of cake , pizza or bottle of cider.
The toilet lid is always down.
I have complete control over the tv remote and programs.
No arguments about the room temperature.
I can drink right out of the juice bottle whenever I feel like it.
The hot water never runs short.
I don’t have to share my stash.
The toilet lid is always down.
I have complete control over the tv remote and programs.
No arguments about the room temperature.
I can drink right out of the juice bottle whenever I feel like it.
The hot water never runs short.
I don’t have to share my stash.
Would you like a foot warmer?
I don't mind the smell of cheese.
I hope you don't mind the smell of skunk.
I’d worry you’d go feral and chew the heads off my chickens and geese like previous skunks.
Firstly, I am *already* feral.
"Don't you know who I am?"
Secondly, I value animals more than dirty stinking hoomans.
Your chickens, geese and lizards are safe.
21 Feb 2022, 7:50 pm
I believe you.The problem is you wouldn’t be safe from her.She doesn’t care for skunks.My girl looks just like this picture.
Pepe wrote:
Misslizard wrote:
Pepe wrote:
Misslizard wrote:
I always get the last slice of cake , pizza or bottle of cider.
The toilet lid is always down.
I have complete control over the tv remote and programs.
No arguments about the room temperature.
I can drink right out of the juice bottle whenever I feel like it.
The hot water never runs short.
I don’t have to share my stash.
The toilet lid is always down.
I have complete control over the tv remote and programs.
No arguments about the room temperature.
I can drink right out of the juice bottle whenever I feel like it.
The hot water never runs short.
I don’t have to share my stash.
Would you like a foot warmer?
I don't mind the smell of cheese.
I hope you don't mind the smell of skunk.
I’d worry you’d go feral and chew the heads off my chickens and geese like previous skunks.
Firstly, I am *already* feral.
"Don't you know who I am?"
Secondly, I value animals more than dirty stinking hoomans.
Your chickens, geese and lizards are safe.
22 Feb 2022, 2:42 pm
Misslizard wrote:
I believe you.The problem is you wouldn’t be safe from her.She doesn’t care for skunks.My girl looks just like this picture.
Then it is either her or me.
Your choice.
I need an answer by tomorrow at the latest.
I'm no one's biatch.
22 Feb 2022, 3:17 pm
Pepe wrote:
Misslizard wrote:
I believe you.The problem is you wouldn’t be safe from her.She doesn’t care for skunks.My girl looks just like this picture.
Then it is either her or me.
Your choice.
I need an answer by tomorrow at the latest.
I'm no one's biatch.
Will you be able to assume her duties and fight wild boar and bear in the woods?
This isn’t the ‘burbs.
22 Feb 2022, 3:41 pm
Misslizard wrote:
Pepe wrote:
Misslizard wrote:
I believe you.The problem is you wouldn’t be safe from her.She doesn’t care for skunks.My girl looks just like this picture.
Then it is either her or me.
Your choice.
I need an answer by tomorrow at the latest.
I'm no one's biatch.
Will you be able to assume her duties and fight wild boar and bear in the woods?
This isn’t the ‘burbs.
You are too high maintenance, sorry.
The deal is off.
I'm a fluffy cuddly skunk looking for an easy-going life.
However,
I am open to negotiation if you are kinky enough.
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