The importance of looks

Post Reply New Topic

My daughter said the concern is that a lot of the bodybuilder types have eating disorders or Body Dysmorphia / BDD. I’m not trying to body shame anyone. If a person wants to go to gyms or date someone with a hardbody that’s fine. Each to their own. Im just pointing out the diversity of women’s thoughts on the topic.

Looks do play a role in attraction.
That doesn't necessarily translate to extreme good looks = stronger attraction.
I find most people attractive, even if they're not "conventionally" attractive.

People who body build are overly concerned with their appearance. I've never seen so much worry about appearance than from the male body builders in work. That being said, they're so worried about their looks that they always look after their health.

I would rather be obsessed over my looks to an unhealthy degree than actually be physically unhealthy from having zero concern over my looks. For as much as they worry, body builders have surprisingly little to worry about compared to obese their obese counterparts. Ignorance isn't bliss when you hit your 40s, that's for sure.

While there is diversity, the women seem to have spoken loud and clear with their preference for dating people with muscle.

Funny but Twilight, babybird, Joe and I have all said we like tummies. I may be forgetting some people too. No one said they have to be obese but it seems you think anyone who is even slightly above average in weight is obese, unhealthy, or unattractive.

I’m glad we’re all allowed our own opinions and I’m glad at least some of us are open to diversity.

But that's only three people. Compared that to what I observed over a decade in the steel industry surrounded by almost entirely men, many of them are built like brick shithouses.

They get women blowing up their phones. Many of these women show up to work to pick them up at the end of the day. I've been invited to several of their weddings.

If someone has a big tummy then they're probably obese too. A mere 13 stone for men pushes them into the overweight category. Men usually don't have any sort of tummy even if they're 12 stone unless they're very short.

Brick shitehouses sound great to me. Big in general is great, especially if it’s from hard labour instead of a gym (imo).

I didn’t say the person has to be big from eating too much. Actually, I didn’t give an opinion at all except I wouldn’t want to hug the squirrel guy or anyone with no body fat who is very trim like that.

”Fat” guys are sometimes really attractive even without obvious muscle. I loved John Belushi and John Candy because of their personality and the way they treated people. My daughter and her girlfriend are hot for Hopper from Stranger Things and they’re not even hetero.

Just remembered Sweetleaf likes big men with tummies too.

Each to his own.

Each to their own indeed. I just observed that lean muscle and low body fat seems to trump high body fat almost any day of the week when it comes to men. To a significant degree, men also dig women with muscle over fat too, including myself.

I am 5ft8 or 5ft7 3/4 and I am slightly overweight at 12 stone.

I do a lot of walking push-ups and lift weights during the week but on the weekends I drink beer with friends which might be contributing to my weight gain.

Beer has a lot of calories. If you have a day with a lot of drinking, I would skip a meal.

The types of workouts matter too. Cardio only burns calories and nothing more. For muscle you'll want to do 8 to 12 reps per set otherwise a lot of what you eat gets turned into fat instead of muscle. If you find yourself doing 25+ pushups then it's a waste of time.

To be honest, that's pretty much it when it comes to exercise. I literally get myself a rucksack and pile metal into it now.

I wonder if it’s a sensory thing which is more pronounced for autistic women? I could be totally wrong but maybe we like soft tummies or “teddy bear” types because we’re more in tune with physical sensations than most NT. Total wild guess but I’m just throwing it out there.

I like strong arms whether they look hugely muscular or not, but it’s always nice to put my head on a squishy tummy even if it’s just a little bit chubby or soft.

Before the weekend with 5 days without drinking beer I weighed 11 stone 13 and today (Sunday) I am back up to 12 stone 2.

Cuddly is nice.

Probably a hard body would be less cozy. My second boyfriend had a hard body. I didn’t mind it, but I wasn’t impressed by it either. I liked him as a person. He worked out a lot because he was hyper - ADHD. He thought working out was fun. Pffft.

There are a lot of women in the world and a lot of different preferences. We aren’t all the same. That’s for sure.

It’s not a hopeless situation for anyone.

Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 12 Feb 2023, 4:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I think that the aggressive appearance, if it can be called that (each has their own idea of what that entails), of many muscular men is off-putting to a lot of autistic women. I think this is in part due to the muscular types being a lot more outgoing as a whole and keen on boisterous behaviour broadly speaking.

Perhaps athletically-minded people have more in common. I just find it really boring.

I appreciate your opinion but I don’t think of muscle men as boisterous or even mildly aggressive. I think of them as self-controlled and focused if I had to think of a stereotype. I’m more apt to picture a big guy who chugs beer as being boisterous or potentially aggressive in a pub fight. I’m not trying to mischaracterise anyone but I don’t think of muscle men as being loud at all. I picture them in a gym with earbuds doing reps.

My first boyfriend looked a bit like John Candy.