TwilightPrincess wrote:
I’ve been living on egg sandwiches the past few days because I’m broke.
That happened to me too one time. Except in my case, I survived on baby food in tiny glass jars instead of eggs. Isn't baby food more expensive than eggs, you ask? Yes, but the baby's food was the only edible substance remaining in the pantry. It was either him or me. Without hesitation, I chose myself to be the sole survivor.
Now don't rush to judge me. Before you say I'm monster, let me explain that he wasn't my baby. I would let myself starve before I would let my own children go one night without food.
A beautiful woman showed up unexpectedly on my doorstep, and dumped a baby on me, and said,
"Take care of your damn son for once!", then she ran away and left me with the baby before I could say a word. I took the baby to my lab at work and did a DNA paternity test. He was not my son. Then I did another test to check if he was related to me in any way other than directly being my child. For example, if he was my father's child. Nope, no match.
So I put him in a box and posted him back to his mother. Again, before you say I'm a monster, let my clarify that his body was still warm when I posted him. Warm meaning he was alive, not a cold dead body. I even phoned his mother and said,
"Text me and let me know if he gets home safely". I don't believe it's necessary to check up on the safe arrival of adults, but I do check for children. See, I'm a good guy. A
great guy.
Later, she confirmed that he arrived home safely, but on the phone, she didn't sound the least bit grateful, so I don't know why I bothered to make the effort. I felt so unappreciated. I feel like, next time a woman dumps her own baby on me, I might not bother to pay the extra fee for express one-hour delivery with a courier and a dedicated van. She didn't appreciate how much I paid for that courier, so why bother doing it again? Maybe I'll only pay for a bicycle courier next time.