How many of you are adults and have never had a girlfriend?

Page 6 of 12 [ 191 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1 ... 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 ... 12  Next

simon_says
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Jan 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,075

28 Jan 2011, 11:19 pm

There is some cross over but they are still very much two separate skills. Long term relationships have their own rules and requirements. Even normal adults who have been in a long term relationship often say they feel "rusty" if they have to get back to the dating scene. With aspies, that will only be more pronounced.



Adam82
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 615

29 Jan 2011, 2:01 am

28 here, 29 this August. No GF ever, no kisses, dates, nothing.



Kiseki
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 May 2010
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,604
Location: Osaka JP

29 Jan 2011, 5:01 am

For those of us who posted here, do you consider yourselves attractive and reasonably with it socially? Or neither of those? What do you think are your main difficulties in getting into a relationship?



donnie_darko
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Nov 2009
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,981

29 Jan 2011, 5:14 am

I'm 21 and still haven't had a girlfriend, or even a date.



Luci
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Dec 2010
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 663
Location: Another world.

29 Jan 2011, 5:19 am

20, female, never had a boyfriend/girlfriend. Never kissed anyone or anything.
And that's fine with me, I've never had a desire to have romantic/sexual relationships.
I don't know if I've had crushes, even. :?: I like looking at some women though if they're beautiful, but I don't think that's a crush?

Am I attractive? I guess I'm okay the way I am. I know I'd look much better if I bothered to take better care of myself, though XD
It's strange, I really don't know whether I look good or bad. Some days I look truly awful in the mirror, and other times I look really good. Can't figure it out.
I always end up looking horrible in photos, though :lol:
My parents always claim "those guys were checking you out!" if we go somewhere, and I didn't notice a thing. Well, if they really were, I guess I'm okay-looking at least.



Last edited by Luci on 29 Jan 2011, 5:41 am, edited 1 time in total.

Yensid
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Mar 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,253
Location: Honolulu, Hawaii

29 Jan 2011, 5:34 am

Kiseki wrote:
For those of us who posted here, do you consider yourselves attractive and reasonably with it socially? Or neither of those? What do you think are your main difficulties in getting into a relationship?


I'm average looking, maybe a bit below average looking. On the other hand, I know of three women who were attracted to me so my problem isn't my looks. I would never have been really successful with the women, but I should not have been so completely hopeless.

I was so shy and insecure in high school that I missed a couple of great opportunities.

The third case I didn't mess up, but our personalities were so incompatible that it would have been a disaster.

I'd say that my main problem is social and psychological. It doesn't help that I work in a male-dominated field, and most of the people that I know are male. It doesn't help that I'm short and not particularly attractive. I was also prone to severe depression, which also made dating difficult.



WillMcC
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Mar 2007
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 546
Location: Florida

29 Jan 2011, 6:02 pm

Never had a relationship or date of any kind. Not even remotely. Admittedly, having a foreign accent means people don't take me seriously and face-blindness really messes things up. I'm suspecting that the "nice guy finishes last" saying might be true in my situation, that's if I even finish at all

I've been told that I have attracted girls (slightly taller than average, usually slightly better dressed than average and generally cleanly groomed), but I don't pick it up. On the other end, I don't experience attraction to others. The chemistry is simply not there. My co-workers might see someone and say "oh, she's hot", but I will wonder what the big deal is



Volodja
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Nov 2010
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 814

29 Jan 2011, 8:14 pm

I'm 22 and never had a gf. While I'm not exactly attractive, I don't think I'm ugly either. The main reasons (imo) I am still single are

1. I look a LOT younger than I am
2. I'm transgendered
3. I don't meet many women in the first place

Also I'm really fussy. I always like girls who are a million miles outta my league :P



wefunction
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Jan 2011
Age: 47
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,486

29 Jan 2011, 8:25 pm

I'm 33 and I've never had a girlfriend.
Boyfriends, husbands... never a girlfriend.
Hmmm.
It's something to think about.



zkg
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 1 Nov 2005
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 167

29 Jan 2011, 8:45 pm

I'm almost 43 and nope, never had a girlfriend. Even as a teen before I knew was Asperger's was I knew I wouldn't have any success with the opposite sex and so never really tried. Everybody can't do everything.



Kiseki
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 May 2010
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,604
Location: Osaka JP

29 Jan 2011, 10:54 pm

Thanks to those who answered my questions :)

I think, for me, I am okay-looking. I am not so weird socially. But I rarely ever feel connections with people that I want to take time pursuing. Or, if I do, those people don't like me.

So, I guess I've given up on it.



auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 114,571
Location: the island of defective toy santas

30 Jan 2011, 1:07 am

Kiseki wrote:
For those of us who posted here, do you consider yourselves attractive and reasonably with it socially? Or neither of those? What do you think are your main difficulties in getting into a relationship?


variously known as "color-blind" and "tone-deaf" - i just don't "get" other people and they don't "get" me. and the older i get, the less interested i am in meeting anybody. i find my own company more and more congenial compared with what i have had to put up with in other people. when i was young, i was reasonably attractive but totally out-to-sea regarding social functioning. i could just never tell what people were thinking about me until they became abusive. if only people would use plain-spoken language instead of demanding mind-reading. it has taken me decades to understand that i am the only person made for me. there is just no real compatibility with any other human in this world, outside of family.



auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 114,571
Location: the island of defective toy santas

30 Jan 2011, 1:09 am

Adam82 wrote:
28 here, 29 this August. No GF ever, no kisses, dates, nothing.


some cold comfort here- remember, it could always be worse.



Kaybee
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Oct 2009
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,446
Location: A hidden forest

30 Jan 2011, 3:49 am

Volodja wrote:
I'm 22 and never had a gf. While I'm not exactly attractive, I don't think I'm ugly either. The main reasons (imo) I am still single are

1. I look a LOT younger than I am
2. I'm transgendered
3. I don't meet many women in the first place

Also I'm really fussy. I always like girls who are a million miles outta my league :P


I hope this isn't rude of me (and apologize if it is), but I'm very curious about the implications of being transgendered. I would imagine it's very difficult to find someone who's accepting of it. Do you find that this is the case? Or are people perhaps more accepting than one might expect?


_________________
"A flower falls, even though we love it; and a weed grows, even though we do not love it."


Homer_Bob
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Jan 2009
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,562
Location: New England

30 Jan 2011, 7:40 pm

So far I'm in that boat but I've learned to accept who I am. I understand girls don't want to f*** guys like me and I'm okay with it. Girls will only look or talk to me after they are all sexed out from another guy(or guys) . Funny yes but I've learned that I'm sometimes better off being alone and in the end I got more things on my plate. Plus even though I'm still young I'm already use to being alone and if I somehow got into a unexpected sexual situation I'd probably be heading for the exits.


_________________
"The less I know about other people's affairs, the happier I am. I'm not interested in caring about people. I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name. The best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes."


Kiseki
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 May 2010
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,604
Location: Osaka JP

30 Jan 2011, 10:10 pm

Homer_Bob wrote:
So far I'm in that boat but I've learned to accept who I am. I understand girls don't want to f*** guys like me and I'm okay with it. Girls will only look or talk to me after they are all sexed out from another guy(or guys) . Funny yes but I've learned that I'm sometimes better off being alone and in the end I got more things on my plate. Plus even though I'm still young I'm already use to being alone and if I somehow got into a unexpected sexual situation I'd probably be heading for the exits.


Seinfeld rocks :)

Hey, you are still young so you have more chances than most of us (if you want them). I hadn't given up when I was your age. But I know how you feel about being better off alone.