All women are demons from Hell that like to mess with men.

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Joined: 13 Feb 2008
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05 May 2008, 10:26 am

Don't hold your breath about Aspie women. I can't tell you how relieved I am to learn you're not a misogynist but merely a misanthrope. Who would even know the difference?

Go ahead and wow them with your misanthropism and hatred.

northern_light_girl
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05 May 2008, 10:37 am

frankcritic wrote:

That's what's hopeful about dating an aspie woman. There's at least a greater chance that she'll be straightforward about herself and rational.

-Frank

Frank, "know thyself" is a very hard to accomplish thing. Are you sure you know what you want? That this definition of what you want won't evolve, change? The more rational you are, IMO, the greater the prudence when entering a relationship. I don't think people are either good or bad when assessing a relationship. This is a part of us that's harder to pin down, love is a mysterious thing, isn't it? When you try to shove too much logic into love...I don't know. Love can't be forced. It can be tried but if the chemistry isn't right, it won't work no matter how much we rationalize things and try to place blame. The blame might be that we didn't recognize that it wasn't working and we kept at it for various reasons...but the sheer lack of chemistry isn't something that we can take or place blame for. My 10 cents.

D1nk0
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05 May 2008, 10:52 am

northern_light_girl wrote:

D1nk0 wrote:

But the emotional uncertainty of women seems to be much greater and more common than emotional uncertainty in men. Im saying the learn that dishonesty is a useful way to get what they want from men.

The "emotional uncertainty" that men experience so little (as you're saying) is, IMO, explained by the fact that while women think Long Term and are prudent evaluating a mate, men think about the Short Term and its possible pleasures with a woman . So imo, men experience less emotional uncertainty..b/c it's NOT always emotional uncertainty that they experience ...but something else :lol:

They kind of care less about emotions and more about...you know what.

btw, what is it that women want from men? And just curious, while women are such calculated creatures, men are totally unselfish individuals who don't want anything from women?

Men ARE selfish! What the Hell makes you assume that I was implying that one sex is more selfish than the other?
You arent deliberately misinterpreting what Im saying now are you(?). There is an age-old myth promulaged in american culture that women are somehow less selfish than men and more altruistic than men....nothing could be further from the truth.
Im so Sick and Tired of the portrayal of women as saints and men as being mean, cruel, and selfish. I think we ALL know about the things that men are capable of and furthermore, men's selfishness is extremely obvious. Women seem to be much better at concealing their selfishness than men. Also Merle and Norther_light_girl: keep in mind that we are really talking about the behaviour of young women and not middle-aged women. I conjecture that the gender gap is at its widest during young adulthood(early 20s to be exact) and once people reach their 40s, 50s, and beyond the gender gap starts to close. Ive noticed that woman who are beyond reproductive age(post-menopause) often dont seem to feel nearly as estranged from men and dont
bother to go man-bashing or b***h about men anymore. What I notice is that women seem to take longer than men to figure out what it is they really want from the opposite sex. Sounds like the girl that KenM was dealing with hasnt gotten to that point yet in her life.

frankcritic
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05 May 2008, 11:27 am

Well, when I say hopeful I'm just talking about even beginning to imagine any sort of possibility. My plan and my expectation remains to stay alone, which is probably for the best on many levels. Aspie women need not worry about my concept of love, my misanthropy, or my hatred. All are benign and result in little more than a bitter man being alone in a room for a long time.

-Frank

northern_light_girl
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05 May 2008, 12:46 pm

D1nk0 wrote:

You arent deliberately misinterpreting what Im saying now are you(?). There is an age-old myth promulaged in american culture that women are somehow less selfish than men and more altruistic than men....nothing could be further from the truth.
Im so Sick and Tired of the portrayal of women as saints and men as being mean, cruel, and selfish. I think we ALL know about the things that men are capable of and furthermore, men's selfishness is extremely obvious. Women seem to be much better at concealing their selfishness than men.

Also Merle and Norther_light_girl: keep in mind that we are really talking about the behaviour of young women and not middle-aged women.

wow
Are you accusing me of playing some game and deliberately misinterpreting stuff? It's how I interpreted what you have said, based on the words you have chosen.

I have never heard of the myth you have mentioned. That is the truth. I have not grown up or developped the idea that women are from Venus, men are from Mars...I think it's about people in general. I do not think that men are less selfish, more selfish or less UNCERTAIN! Lol, men are just as uncertain as everybody else. And do NOT get me started on how guys under 25 are (and here I mean NT)! Talk about UNCERTAINTY..actually talk about a complete lack of desire to commit to anything (except for committment to having FUN). Not even guys older than 25 aren't that ready or eager to commit. Most say that but what they mean is they want FUN and as little headache as possible. Now I am personally NOT bothered but I imagine many young women looking to settle down are. Women (young ones) are NAIVE, I think. If they believe that the men interested in them have the best of intentions, well..they wake up from the dream eventually. I think as a woman, as you grow older you become more aware of how "good" a guy's intentions are, you become a better bs detector.

D1nk0
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05 May 2008, 2:37 pm

I have to wonder if they guys you've know who are commitment shy have something ELSE in common besides just that. Are they the extroverted, assertive type? When they say they just wanna have FUN what they mean is they wanna be what they think is an "alpha-male" who pokes lots of women but doesnt stay in a committed LTR. But you see, Men want SEX and they're very open and honest about it.But I have to tell you-what Im starting to learn is that a LOT more young (NT)Women(in their 20s) dont really want commitment any more than (NT)Men do! Suprise suprise folks . There IS a cultural bias thats in favor of male promiscuity and scornful of female promiscuity; but that doesnt seem to be stopping a lot of modern young women from sleeping around when they can and they feel like it :wink: . I wonder if it comes from the feminist belief that being promiscuous makes you a "sexually liberated" woman...... :roll: . I have to wondef if you've come into contact with bipolar guys northern_light_girl cuz I have met a bunch of bipolar people and lemme tell ya-they are NOTORIOUS for their impulsive promiscuity(when its untreated). Ironically I am usually the one who wants a committed relationship and its the woman who's scared off by that from me and refused to give up her "freedom". I wonder why you are so defensive of NT women.....

MissConstrue
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05 May 2008, 2:50 pm

Hmmm, where's Satan when I need him, he knows how to do deal with all this whining and misery. All you have to do is sell your soul to his greatness in Hell for all eternity, and then he'll grant you your specific wish. :twisted:

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northern_light_girl
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05 May 2008, 2:55 pm

D1nk0 wrote:

I wonder if it comes from the feminist belief that being promiscuous makes you a "sexually liberated" woman...... :roll:

.

I have to wondef if you've come into contact with bipolar guys northern_light_girl cuz I have met a bunch of bipolar people and lemme tell ya-they are NOTORIOUS for their impulsive promiscuity(when its untreated). Ironically I am usually the one who wants a committed relationship and its the woman who's scared off by that from me and refused to give up her "freedom". I wonder why you are so defensive of NT women.....

I don't know about that, where does male promiscuity come from? What's the male equivalent of "feminism":) Anyway, this is off topic, Aspies are not famous for such affairs, I think.

O ho hoooo, so NT or non-NT guys who engage in impulsive promiscuity have an excuse, poor babies...they're bi-polar. Funny how there are 1000 excuses for their behaviour. No, I'd say they're just being guys. Young guys. Not ready for anything. Until they hit 25+ they're rarely looking for some deep, meaningful relationship (they might actually get into one but not mindfully, consciously really need it and thus look for it..they might be just lucky to find it anyway and settle down). I don't know any bi-polar people. The type I have encountered are indeed alpha-male, extroverted types. Pretty healthy emotionally:) And what I have said of them was not a critique. It was just a counter-example to your view. I think 25 is about the right age to settle down, male or female.

I think the issue with the girls not wanting to give up their freedom is not the main issue here...I mean in your case you mentioned something about volatile temper. That's the issue. This perception (I mean you did mention you're a nice guy but come off as agressive, so it must be a perception not reality). It has nothing to do with the female kind, with age, with promiscuity etc...if a perceived agression scares them, that's that. You should be sweeter

Bopkasen
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05 May 2008, 3:12 pm

Shayne wrote:

i maintain my less harsh point of view on this. i'm not disagreeing with what Kip is saying at all, i think it's very interesting to hear this point of view from someone with more real perspective.

i would like to point out though, how can we expect any better when there is so little productive edjucation on how they should deal with their feelings. all of these things are reactions to their feelings and insecurities and most of these reactions are learned.

where's the intervention and edjucation that shows them a respectful way to act? a lot of people just don't have that.

otherwise they can only learn the hard way, which means doing the wrong thing until they figure it out. and this is something so complicated that it's hard to figure out just by doing. especially since the nature of the behavior is so deceptive. it's hard to pull truth out of deception alone.

Well certainly, you likely to find more "bad girls" in bar, it doesn't matter what people think.

Don't watch Hollywood movie, not all movie contains guide to find a girl.

If you want to find a girl, find them in regular place that you see them everyday. Don't be a stranger and ask them out. Nobody like stranger.

Girl that are liar, lack of intelligent, and collecting welfare are more likely to be a whore. Not all girls that are liar, lack of intelligent, and collecting welfare like whore but you getting a more likely odd if they have those area.

MysteryFan3
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05 May 2008, 8:16 pm

MissConstrue wrote:

Delish!

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frankcritic
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05 May 2008, 9:10 pm

I think that a dark but profound truth gets lost in all of this. To some of us, if we're honest with ourselves, the misery of loneliness is simply the price we will pay for being true to ourselves. That doesn't make the misery of loneliness any easier to take, but it does give it a certain nobility. You're being true to yourself and not imposing yourself upon anyone. You are granting yourself and hypothetical people who would be miserable with you freedom.

-Frank

D1nk0
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05 May 2008, 11:02 pm

northern light girl wrote:

O ho hoooo, so NT or non-NT guys who engage in impulsive promiscuity have an excuse, poor babies...they're bi-polar. Funny how there are 1000 excuses for their behaviour. No, I'd say they're just being guys. Young guys. Not ready for anything. Until they hit 25+ they're rarely looking for some deep, meaningful relationship (they might actually get into one but not mindfully, consciously really need it and thus look for it..they might be just lucky to find it anyway and settle down). I don't know any bi-polar people. The type I have encountered are indeed alpha-male, extroverted types. Pretty healthy emotionally:) And what I have said of them was not a critique. It was just a counter-example to your view. I think 25 is about the right age to settle down, male or female.

........Uh-huh :roll:

You seem to have some pretty old fashioned notions about guys and girls northern_light_girl, no offense

. Seriously though:
WTF makes you think it ONLY guys(or even mostly)who engage in impulsive promiscuity and NOT girls???
What up and smell the dogsh1t NLG! Women most certainly DO sleep around When they can and when the feel like it!
I understand that society has a double standard when it comes to promiscuity for men and women but from the young women Ive known AND what Ive read and heard-that doestn seem to stop them from doing it :wink:

. Furthermore, Bipolar WOMEN are NOTORIOUS for their compulsive promiscuity during manic episodes. The last woman I was with was like that throughout her teens and into her 20s until she finally got diagnosed and put on meds.Is pisses me off how you blame cheating entirely on Men and deliberately will not acknowledge that women do it to and they do it MUCH MORE OFTEN THAN YOU THINK.

CanyonWind
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05 May 2008, 11:15 pm

Just catching up here.

sinsboldly wrote:

you know, for years and years I was on the old Yahoo. I was damned straight to hell for answering back some HNG's first IM with a polite 'no, thank you.

I know what an IM is, but I had to google HNG.

I can understand why you wouldn't want to spend time with the guy if he was a Human Nasal Gland, but I'm sure there are some really decent people in the Hawaii National Guard.

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Did you say that wasn't proper? Did you march out on the track?
You were quiet, just like mice. And now you say that we're not nice.
Well thank you buddy for your advice...
-Malvina

sinsboldly
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05 May 2008, 11:23 pm

northern_light_girl wrote:

D1nk0 wrote:

Here's a fundamental question which Ive been unable to answer myself or get an answer: WHY, yes Why do women play all these social/emotional/mind games? Especially the young ones

Is it because they havent figured out what they want? Is it cuz they often have conflicting impulses and feelings and they're trying not to be too blunt with people? Perhaps a better question is why are women so incredibly dishonest and disingenuous when it comes to relationships..............

Nothing more offensive than emotional uncertainty being labeled as "games." If that were true, what could men say of female aspies, who are even more confused about dating etiquette, relationship pacing, emotions etc?

I am baffled when I hear about games, especially since you guys are talking NOT about women that you have known for a while through work or friends...but DATES with NEW girls, whom you didn't know previously. Strangers!! !! !! !! Since when is a series of dates between strangers supposed to leave out any confusion? I don't get it HOW people who've just met can have EXPECTATIONS of one another...could expect the other to be clear on what's going on....after a few dates? Is that person NOT a stranger still? It takes months to scratch the surface and determine if you do like the other ENOUGH to call it a relationship. That's why going into a few dates with HIGH EXPECTATIONS is just not good...take them as dates, as opportunities to get to know the person but don't expect love or committment just yet.

I am not saying some women don't play games. I just want to point out that what to men looks like a game, to a woman it could be uncertainty about how she feels, BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T KNOW THE GUY THAT WELL!! !! ! What do you do when you don't know the person well, and have mixed feelings? How do you continue to get to know them? Is that a game...if you're interested and want to see if there's more...but then realize there isn't? That's what was good about the old times...there was a courtship period, no rush. People could talk and act decent and not expect too much for a while, THEN decide on a next step. Now, it's all so rushed: today we date, tomorrow you need to know exactly how the other is feeling etc. It's uncomfortable.

well, she certainly knows what sort of a man HE is now!
Merle

simplyhere
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06 May 2008, 1:55 am

More often than not the thing we accuse others of we are just as if not more guilty of. . . :wink:

jason_b1980
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06 May 2008, 2:00 am

From what I have read, it sounds like she just wanted a nice guy (you) to take her to the party as friends. It also sounds like she is a little naieve, wasn't totally up-front and honest with you, and led you to believe there was a chance, when there wasn't one.

I read somewhere that the majority of women decide if your dating material the first moment they meet you. This isn't 100% true, because things could change between the both of you in the long run, but it's unlikely.

And I agree with everyone, in that women in general, need to say what they mean, and stop playing guessing/mind games. NT men have a difficult time with this as well.

I also read somewhere that a person will attract certain types of people, depending on what type of "vibe" they are putting out. For example, if your a confusing person with a lot of emotional baggage, that don't know what you want, you will attract similar types of people. So, I guess what I am saying is, you have to get yourself squared away, figure out who you are, and what you want before you will attract the types of people you really want to be with.

This post kinda reminds me of this movie I watched awhile back called "Just Friends". It's funny, and talks about the whole "friends zone" thing. I recommend everyone watch it.

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