Has anyone never had a GF/BF before?

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I'm still curious about having a girlfriend, but unsure, because I've worked out that all I truly want from a woman at the moment is sex, and physical affection and company (such as hanging around and sleepovers), I don't "need" the social interaction at present. I mean, it may be more "appropriate" of me to look for a mistress instead of a girlfriend.

The truth is many aspies wouldn't be alone if they knew what they were doing wrong and tried. Much aspie alone-ness comes from fear and anxiety and basically not trying.

I know I've talked to a few aspies trying to help them out but ultimately they have to get assertive and develop a thick skin. Don't over-invest their feelings in any one girl, it's a numbers game. If you counted how many people you approached/tried over time there is most likely a pattern.

Also some aspies dont have any fashion/style sense and this is a dead giveaway for girls who get approached all the time. Girls aren't intentionally rejecting you out of spite much of the time, they are rejecting you because they get approached constantly by guys hitting on them and develop quick methods of rejection. Aspie guys not having any insight into what a girl experiences might get a twisted view of women but not understanding how often they are approached by the 'lovable loser types', which many aspies fall into through no fault of their own.

A girl doesn't have the time to date every guy that approaches her, hence much rejection. A lot of it has to do with self-esteem issues, and flawed negative perceptions in the aspie him/herself. The truth is certain aspies like in thi sthread don't have good judgement when it comes to themselves. What they need is guidance.

That doesn't make any sense at all. How am I supposed to ask a girl out if I don't like her? How am I supposed to like a girl if I can't invest any feeling in her?


I can understand the "not wanting to date every guy that approaches" bit. What I don't understand is how what you happen to be wearing fits into it all...


Try getting rejected multiple times (excluding times when you "asked her out" but actually didn't care and weren't planning on going out anyway) and see if you're still not cynical about it...

It's not even the rejection that gets to me anymore... it's the manner of execution. I would much rather hear a clear, concise "no", rather than the drawn out non-rejection rejections I keep hearing... Women could just say one simple word, "no", to get the point across, but they just have to launch into diatribes, supposedly to make the man feel better... Well I'll tell you something, they don't make me feel better they make me feel like she's being condescending...

Had two relationships; one lasted eight days, the other ten months.

Mine tend to last less than a month

I haven't had a GF before either. But at least I have a prospect that supposedly likes me from what someone on here has told me.

If that doesn't work out, then I'm not gonna bother for the rest of high school. People are WAY too shallow and ignorant in high school.

I'm 27 still no girlfriend and a virgin.There's no such thing as single woman,and there more than nothing but professional girlfriends,period!

^ It does seem that way. It's like every woman has a boyfriend nowadays.

Before I was married, I did not have any problems getting a girlfriend... When I wanted one, I had one, when I didn't want one, i broke up and was a single guy for a while...

Mainly the only difficulty was the inability to keep arelationship going for a length of time, that was then.... Since then I have gotten better and could probally do that.... Will be divorced soon and look forward to being aloof for a while befiore I go on dating again...

Try too hard, you come off as desperate... a gal can see that as clear as day - major turn off....


First, learn who you are... so you can develope your own style that plays up your percieved strengths and downplays your shortcommings.

I'm 26 and have never had a girlfriend, virgin, never been kissed, etc.

I'm almost 30 (will be 30 this October), and I'm still a virgin & never had a g/f...pathetic, is it not?

Tim (aka the Slipperman)

It's not pathetic. Sometimes I wonder if you have it better, in fact.

I had my first relationship experience this year, as a freshman in college. It lasted nine - maybe ten - weeks and it entailed pretty much everything you'd expect in a relationship. Coming at it purely from an AS perspective, relationships are difficult - a lot of dots to connect, a lot of things to imply about the other person, a lot of things that are implicitly expected from either party. It starts off amazing - that you are capable of this level of normal-people type interaction... but somewhere in the middle, I kept asking myself whether I was cut out for the relationship game.

In retrospect, I feel the only reason we really want boyfriends or girlfriends is because society asks us to.

I haven't had a "proper" boyfriend before, I had a few week long "boyfriends" when I was a kid.
I am a virgin but I have kissed someone though, last year (he was crap btw)

I've never had one either, the stereotypical rules of the guy having to be the one to ask the girl pretty much alienates my chances since my social anxiety around girls can be severe. I at times feel bad about not having a girlfriend but I know there's some positive things to. I get to live by my own rules and do whatever I want to do without having to answer to anyone. Plus girls can be a burden and a hand full, something I probably wouldn't do well with. Plus I like to have my downtime and not be in contact with anyone. Still, even if I were to be the one to make the moves I'd probably have no success anyways. Every damn girl I know already has a boyfriend anyways(most of them I don't want but I'm just making a point). It's like for girls, it's a must and hip to have a boyfriend so the ones I'd probably want would be taken anyways.

Last edited by Homer_Bob on 28 Apr 2009, 2:21 pm, edited 2 times in total.

nope, no IRL relationship/gf.
ive had... two... online relationships that obviously didnt work, cus theyre part of the past.
one of them came to visit, and gave me a 7-day irl-relationship-experience that was VERY rewarding

I've come close 13 (or is it 14 now?) times but have failed to get a GF each and every time. I was in a long distance relationship a little while ago but we've ended up being just friends which is cool. She's a nice gal to talk to. The distance thing just wasn't working out but we'll always at least be friends.

The common thing for me is that the women I meet already have boyfriends. It's like winning the lottery but finding out someone else got to the prize money first.