Conflicting Interests in Relationships

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There probably aren't.

As for indie/foreign films, very few conservative people watch them. You might as well be trying to get them to watch porn.

Maybe you should try changing something about yourself.

One major thing, you're going to have to learn to love and accept yourself no matter what. Sure you can change something about yourself if you don't like it but the main thing is to appreciate yourself despite your shortcomings. It's just like my avatar says.

I know it might be a bit easier said than done (I struggle with it myself) but I often hear that you must like yourself first before someone else will like you in return.

I am comfortable with who I am, with my political and religious beliefs, and choice of career.

But it's an issue of people not accepting me because of them.

I keep hearing that shyness and lack of assertiveness is the main reason that male Aspies have difficulties forging relationships, but I had worked painstakingly on being more outgoing and more assertive (even to the point of occasionally and unintentionally being pushy), but it's still not enough.

And when I say "conservative Christian", I meant that I am a Christian who votes Republican (for those outside the U.S., the Republican Party is conservative, the Democratic Party is liberal).

In other words, I am not a fundamentalist. In fact, Lutheranism (my denomination), is one of only a handful of denominations that will ordain women as pastors, and has recently allowed gays and lesbians to be ordained (but unlike the Episcopalians, the Lutherans haven't actually ordained anyone).

Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't she also have to be somebody who loves South Park, The Simpsons, and indie/foreign films, but advocates harsher criminal penalties for people smoking weed?

Yes!! !

And she has to be comfortable with a version of Christianity that allows gay people to be ordained as pastors, but she has to be opposed to legalizing gay marriage?

She has to tolerate my beliefs, but she doesn't have to be Lutheran herself.

I give up.....

When I get married I'm going to raise my children 1950s style, I'm very old-fashioned and I don't care what other parents think!! !

-I'm not going to let them curse or be disrespectful to other people
-If they turn out to be gay, then I would make sure they know their gay and not think their gay
-I make sure they keep their grades up
-I'd teach my son(s) to respect women and not use them as sex objects
-I'd teach my daughter(s) not to let any man take advantage of them
-I'd tell my kids to stay away from drugs, I knew people whose families were torn apart because they were drug addicts or alcoholics, it's very heartbreaking to see your child suffer.

Well screaming children and crying babies bother me, so I probably won't have children anyway!

if you read my posts, you can see that i am an agnostic, and my partner is a conservative christian

i am still in love with him, and we share alot of our lives with each other; i even end up going to church with him on occasion. Love doesnt care what religion a person is, it only cares about who the person it

Tim, by your own admission you've deceived people, at least initially, as to what you're like. Logically, you are living proof that you can have AS and deceive, lie, etc. You saying 'I want an aspie girlfriend because that would guarantee she wouldn't lie or cheat, etc' therefore simply does not compute. If your ex had been a brunette (or blonde or whatever) would it make sense to refuse to ever date a brunette again because of that bad experience? I'm not telling you to go for someone with Paris Hilton's personality, but that you're ruling out, from the word go, all NTs, even outliers (yes, they do exist), to me is either the result of pure prejudice or an excuse to rule out everyone. I find the NT mainstream fairly repulsive, but there are oddball NTs that I do like.

Regarding religion, you claim you only demand respect for your beliefs, not that hers be identical. Now, I've seen Muslim-Christian and Christian-atheist couples that appear to function well, and I, an atheist, considered asking out a (modern) Muslim girl (I didn't because I deemed her incompatible for reasons other than religion), so if you really don't shove your beliefs down her throat and don't talk about them 24/7 dating a non-Christian without giving up your religion is probably within the realm of the possible. I'm not saying 'easy' or 'likely' but it doesn't make sense to arbitrarily rule out the possibility of any outliers.

There are plenty of people that are apolitical or have conservative views on some issues and liberal ones in others - maybe if you described yourself as centrist/middle of the road and didn't bring it up unless relevant you'd get better reactions from people.

Your list of requirements reads more like a job description (like 'has to have a numerate degree and knowledge of accounting principles') rather than a description of a person (like 'I like women that are nice but also confident' or 'I like my women like I like my coffee: sweet and strong' or 'I like shy, romantic girls', etc - you get the idea). My point is that, for example, is her loving South Park absolutely essential? Would you be unable to stand someone that didn't love it, but had nothing against it in principle (a matter of taste rather than a matter of morality)?

Dating for aspies is hard enough without adding arbitrary requirements that only make it harder. If you don't want to date, just don't - you don't owe anybody any explanations, whether it's taking a break or indefinite; if you do, don't make it harder for yourself than it's going to be already. Best of luck.

Christian I could take if it was just teen dating, neo-conservative I'm not so sure about.

The Simpsons and South Park, and indie/foreign films criteria stem from people who liked those shows bragging about their "sexploits" in the Adult forum on here. (This was about 2-3 years ago) I felt that there was a link between sex drive and watching those shows. Those who liked those things had explosive sex drives, those who didn't were either asexual or waiting until marriage.

And now that I mentioned this, I am worried that people think I am a perverted creep.

Not to me, Tim - but it shows a major issue with your reasoning here. You've selected criteria for a mate on the basis of a small sample on a single website and drawn absolute correlations between their interests and amusements and their sexual appetites. One example I can think of is an incredibly conservative couple I met who are swingers - there are countless variations in people, and you're only hurting yourself through these arbitrary limitations.


M.

But do you really think a "fundie" is going to try the sexual positions mentioned in the Adult forum--outside of marriage?