Do women simply just dislike Aspie men?

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By your definition a white knight must be anyone capable of having a conversation with a woman without causing her to regret the interaction. I'm sorry if you don't possess that ability but it will undermine your chances of finding a romantic partner and potential partners are entitled to consider that a deal-breaker. Bland and starchy is no way to go through life.

You know very well the real definition of white knight; and it’s not that.

I will criticize any jerk post regardless if it is posted by man or woman; that has nothing to do with romance and dating. It is about having a backbone; you should try it sometimes.

We weren’t implying that.

We were commenting on our experiences with inexperienced men who refuse to put effort into learning how to operate within the context of a relationship.
This isn’t always aspie men. It’s also NTs.
We were discussing this in the thread because many of us have dated (and/or married) men who have displayed such behavior that was not conducive to a healthy relationship.

There are many wonderful men on the autism spectrum and as I’ve said in other threads (or perhaps this one, I can’t remember), I would never dismiss someone simply because they have autism. Obviously that would be ridiculous, since I also have it. And relationships have been a struggle for me, it certainly hasn’t been a cakewalk without challenges. There were times where I wasn’t a healthy partner and had to learn how to be. I expect someone else to understand this too.

The thread’s title is about aspie men.

To be fair; you did sound ranting over a personal experience and not implying things; so I apologize, but the poster you replied to obviously did.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 31 May 2020, 11:52 am, edited 1 time in total.

White knight is the one who starts on either b1 or g1.

Checkmate!

Guess the question is rather what you are really looking for and where you are doing this.

Clearly you're unfamiliar with my posting history, if I find someone disagreeable their gender rarely makes a difference to how I respond to them. Since you're always so disagreeable, you tend to be face more disagreement from me than more reasonable posters like MP.

Check my super very recent posting history (hint: the previous page).
It’s not MP I have issue with.

I am aware of the title.

My hope with my reply was that some people who may have had problems in the past with relationships would want to work on bettering their skills with emotional intimacy and communication (or start to develop them). I’ve seen far too many people with defeatist attitudes about women and how it’s womens’ job to fix it. “If only women weren’t so shallow, if only women didn’t like as*holes, if only women would give us a chance” etc.

Men don’t have to be rich or conventionally attractive or dress a certain way for women to date them. They don’t even have to own a car. I’ve seen all of these as reasons why someone can’t get a date. None of them are true. Respect, having genuine interest in someone else, a willingness to be reasonable, good hygiene, putting an effort into learning new skills and taking care of yourself, and a good sense of humor go further.

I’ve dated men who didn’t own cars, men who made way less money than I do, and men who wear the same style of clothing virtually everyday (he wore a plain shirt with jeans nearly everyday).

I understand a lot of us come here to vent when we’re frustrated and feeling alone. But I’m tired of seeing a lot of toxic assumptions about women over and over again.

I guess you are referring to sly/Mark’s rant about their job and no car; I said earlier that lacking the car does kill the dating chance due to impracticality (most places don’t have perfect transport like London); but not other than that.

But two wrongs don’t make a right.

Just admit that you jumped into the bandwagon of a sexist and toxic assumption post even if you didn’t see it due to a rant moment; neglecting a partner is not something done only by aspie men, or men for that matter.

I didn’t have any specific people in mind when I used those examples. They are just things I remembered people have said regarding dating advice. I definitely wasn’t criticizing anyone specifically, and if anyone felt targeted I apologize and didn’t mean for that to happen.

Anyway, I don’t think it makes a wrong for me to push back on these generalizations. After all, men want the same thing women do in dating: to be seen as an individual worthy of respect and attention. That’s really it.

Women aren’t a monolithic entity who actively conspire against non-rich, “nice” men with autism. Sometimes it certainly feels like people believe we are. The OP lumped NT women and women with autism into the same group who wanted the same thing: a man who isn’t aspie. That’s so far removed from the truth and what’s actually happening. But I get so frustrated that I can’t even reply to these kinds of threads because people don’t listen to us even when we reply. We get talked-down to and told we’re wrong when we’re literally the audience being complained about. I mean, if no one can see the problem there then I don’t know how anyone can help themselves out.

Pardon me?

Nope -- I wasn't implying that at all. I was referring to my three boyfriends who were 1) closet gay NT, incapable of lifting his arse of the chair to do anything, and completely passive in the relationship in every conceivable way 2) closet gay sadistic NT with addictions, who lived with his mother and didn't work (for no reason -- nothing to do with disability), who took more time, effort, patience and money than he could give to his own baby toe 3) closet gay passive man who never touched me, emotionally or physically. Also NT.

That comment had nothing to do with autistic men. I've been on WP supporting men and saying I love autistic men, that I act like an autistic man more than an autistic woman, and that I would love to date an autistic man ... for the past three years.

That was really off the mark.

I saw mp's comment and identified. It had nothing to do with the OP's comment so I'm sorry if it was taken the wrong way.

My new guy is NT and so far not passive or needy, but I haven't been able to see him since March because of lockdown.
I'm a little frustrated when it comes to relationships, I guess.

Note: I mention the fact they were / are gay, only because I was trying to get closer emotionally / romantically / physically or in terms of moving the relationships forward, but there was always a wall between us that I couldn't understand or trespass. At the time I had no idea of their orientation and I had nothing to compare because they were the only people I'd dated. I invested a lot in these relationships (not to mention 20 years of my life), not understanding why the relationships weren't progressing normally. It was frustrating. I wanted a partner who was equally into the relationship, but couldn't find such a person. I'm still best friends with one of them but the dating dynamic was always beyond our reach.

Last edited by IsabellaLinton on 31 May 2020, 2:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.

So are homophobes. You've just made me realise something, thank you.

And here you all thought it couldn't be any worse than a potato. BEHOLD, my spirit vegetable is Cabbage.

CABBAGE
Cabbage thrives in cool weather, which is probably why it has all those layers to peel back! Once you get to know this humble member of the brassica family, you'll find a thoughtful, grounded individual who loves to get cozy and hibernate. While you may initially overlook it in the produce section, cabbage is a seriously versatile and industrious vegetable that is delicious shredded raw (tacos, anyone?), grilled, or braised for hours until it caramelizes into a sweet, luscious heap. You heard it here first: Cabbage is bringing sexy back.

cabbage is the new fennel

So many men think they have to be a hot pepper, but who doesn't like cabbage?