Nice Guys and Love, what's your take on the issue

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Nice guys finish last...

...That is all.

It's for the best , you'd be far better to do what most of the men here do and just rely on Porn, you know it makes sense. *

A man who thinks marriage is a 50-50 proposition, doesn't understand either women or percentages!

And that's no Joke! hopefully you'll familiarize yourself with the 2 most important words in the English language prenup.


* or casual sex theirs seems to be a few women here more than 2 that I can gather who are that way inclined stick around long enough and they may offer their services to you .

i think you are mixed up about who really benefits from a divorce... it is certainly not women. women end up poorer than men on average after they divorce, so i guess you are right... a prenup would be a good idea to ensure that women exit the marriage in good financial shape.

Well that's dependent on location and individual circumstances, I've had 1 st hand experience in that regard where a mongrel of a farther does a runner doesn't pay child support while earning a decent wage living with his parents rent free! food free! because theirs no reciprocal agreements with that country.

And don't get me started on the wealthy there's a spoilt brat of a tennis player who's just turned 18 who's name escapes me , is 1/2 Croatian/ 1/2 Aussie and his just moved to Monaco I wonder why, all these years drawing down from the |AIS (Australian Institute of Sport) drawing down from government schools and other services than gives a big two finger salute to the taxpayer by residing their and sickeningly he still plays for Australia if that's the way he wants it he can apply for Monaco citizenship, I have no time for these people

It made me upset to see so many posts on this topic that seems to suggest that a good and decent man, a gentleman, a soft-spoken attentive man does not get picked. It isn't true...

I can't speak for all women on the planet, I can only say this is a man that I would dream of.

If the woman you are interested in is only interested in jerks, that is her loss. Find the ones that are smarter and know that having a relationship with a good and decent man is real and satisfying.

so the game changed a bit for me the other day i guess.

i brought up the fact that someone's been sort of hitting on me for the last 2 years, to one of her friends, in the presence of a few others.
we were discussing the 'irrational behavior' of a few others at the time and the rest of the context is neither here not there..
Anyway, she made it pretty clear that the reason was "because i'm a nice guy"

so be very careful mixing up weak males with nice guys, they aren't the same.

I guess women aren't attracted to 'Nice Guys' around my current age (20), and will be once they're done 'living the life' and enjoying being 'young', with all of the partying, promiscuousness, among other things you are to enjoy in your late teens into your mid 20s

Of course this is a generalization, but it seems to be that way.

Why be attracted to those type of females is the better question? Especially if they are not remotely close to your type of personality....

There are plenty exceptions to tis but the premise is true more often than not.
In a certain stages of life with certain women of certain mindsets a male who is considered a "bad boy" has access to a whole lot more women than a guy who is a "nice guy".

However; the nice guy is usually the guy who gets married in the end and does better with his family than the bad boy. Because what is needed to pull multiple women is a different set and application of aspects than what is needed for a solid relationship. Although one still wants to "date" their long term/spouse to keep the excitement going.

One warning for the nice guys: when a woman is fertile she is more attracted to bad boys, so this is the time that given a certain set of circumstances she may stray and it may result in the nice guy raising the bad boy's child.

And if you are one masquerading as the other, in time your facade will be seen through.
So just be yourself.
Contrary to certain beliefs, women do not mature faster then men.
Instead because of their biology certain traits stand out quicker.

So even some women need time to figure out that the bad boy is not a good candidate for husband material.

Of course the whole labeling thing is also bovine excrement and my explanation is just a summary of how many have conditioned themselves to a set of invented rules that screw up the whole dating process.

In answer to the original posting, no, no one deserves heartache for making their choice. The moment after any choice is made, everything has changed. If things don't turn out well, there is no assigning "consequences". There is no predicting how any relationship will end up. Many "jerks" will have a change of heart due to the influence of a woman who opens his eyes and heart. Many "nice guys" will find a woman completely opposite in character, a woman nobody would have ever thought would have the slightest interest in them. Nice guys often finish last but it's their own fault in most cases because they expect to fail. The game immediately starts anew, a do-over with a different leading lady, IF Mr Nice Guy can put the recent past behind him. So it hurt - so what? It means absolutely nothing to Nice Guy's new situation. Nice Girl, or, for that matter, Naughty Girl, doesn't want to hear about it. So get on with it! With no expectations.

I don't think it's necessarily that they expect to fail, but that the odds are stacked against them.

They expect, from an early age, that girls won't like them. Therefore, they don't try...and if they do try, they get shot down. Can you really expect a nice guy to not have low self esteem?

Younger girls are evil! They're more attractive in one way, but less attractive in another.

I don't know what I am (I'm too much of a prick to be a "nice guy", and not outgoing enough to be a "jerk"), but I can tell you that "the game" does not immediately start anew. I've been waiting for over almost 2 years for another woman to show interest in me after my ex broke up with me, and... nothing.

Oh, Toad.... now I HAVE to ask, what are you expecting these women to do to show interest in you? What's the appropriate behavior that's universally recognized, because maybe some women are making passes at you and you're not picking up on their cues? (yeah yeah yeah... I know it'd be nice if women threw themselves at you, but let's be realistic)

Also, are you getting out there and asking women out but they are rejecting you? Are you hiding in a cellar playing Dungeons and Dragons and wondering why women aren't knocking on your door? (Trust me, I know some women who do similar things, like join stamping clubs, then they wonder why they never meet any men. Duh!)

With certain types of girls, nice guys DO finish last. As the original poster mentioned, some girls want excitement and exhilaration. There have been studies done that during intense situations, you can simulate the effect of being attracted to someone.

However, not all girls follow this archetype. I have found "bad boys" often synonmous with douchebags, or at least highly irresponsible. Highly irresponsible = not worth bothering with a relationship

You propose that courtesy precludes excitement/interest?
Say what you will but I'm not into this.

Cuz my creativity is boundless and never constrained.
The jerks who suppress me keep their own locked in chains.
They may get the sex but they don't have real skills.
They just shout slander with breath that could spin windmills,
I don't woe girls gloating from a mound of crushed enemies,
I speak from the heart, so they can simply see inta'me.
My success rate is less than optimal,
but my intentions are never apocryphal,
nor dubious neither,
I only wanted to free her,
from the slander they feed her.
(those venomous skeeters)
Is it so wrong I give compliments owed?
Guys tell me to keep these feeling stowed,
Say what? affection is creepy?
Well that's news to me,
but if that's what dames see
then they're simply mistaken.
They think I'm fakin'?
Well I'd never take 'em
to the brink of despair,
f**k'm just to leave'm like a puff of stale air.
I proclaim real love while they sit and stare.
Like I'm a sideshow at the Renaissance fair.
Damn straight! I'm a knight in shining armor.
Never the arsonist or fire starter.
as*holes light painful flames they refuse to snuff out,
Is there any doubt
that these jerks would burn her?
(I guess some are slow learners.)
But even after they fry her heart,
She still knows I was there from the start,
and I'll still be her personal clown.
She can cry me a river. I make sure she won't drown.
I learned to swim a long time ago,
for despair is my recurrent foe.
So I keep her afloat while maintaining my flow,
but she'll never know
as we roll in with the tide
that it kills me inside.
I'm just her toy.
I have to mend wounds left from all the bad boys,
but I get to enjoy
no reward.
I'm her little ret*d.

Now tell me that nice guys are bland with no skills:
that artists who make art don't help others ills.

You wanna know how I spit these lines from my head?
Practice from love poems I wrote, then never said.

Women will only fall for a men who understands her.

:scratch:
"Women" <— plural
"a" <— singular
"men" <— plural
"her" <— singular

How can I understand her if I can't even understand you?