To the arsty liberal people...

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I am a full-time college student. As a result, I can't work full-time. On dating sites, even the "tolerant" OKCupid, the women (I am assuming they are NTs) only care about what kind of job you have or what kind of car.

As for Aspies, I don't have to worry about that, and they will understand that I am a full-time student. There is no obsession with social status among Aspies.

I contacted over 100 women on OKStupid, and maybe 2 replied, and the correspondences lasted only 2 e-mails. I told the truth about being a full-time student. I never mentioned religion, sex, or politics, either.

A 2% response is about right for a dating site.

Try real life, you might have better luck. Get out there.

Tim you are stickler for punishment you have to admit.

Don't hit the dating scene in this state seriously....

Instead go find out about art, and develop your taste. Also find out about current affairs and form some word views of your own.

South Park is a great satirical show and is cool how the characters are in fact one dimensional cut outs. Good lesson: don't become a parody of yourself.

As soon as someone hears another person say ‘I want a partner like X...’ they are probably already bored stiff.

Tim, you have to decide which is more important to you: being with a woman or holding out until you find the woman who fits your specifications exactly. If it is the latter, keep doing what you are doing. If it is the former:

1)step away from the computer datings sites. If you want to physically be with a woman and not just write messages to somebody's posted profile, you need to meet actual women. Writing messages to a profile is not meeting. Reading what a profile poster writes about sex is not a love life. You say you want artsy? Find out if artsy is actually what you want by going to art venues in your area. You have made some assumptions about whole groups of women based on what you read on profiles. This is as foolish as me going to Lebanon thinking I can hook up with the mythical Hani80. Profiles aren't reality. Real women are out there and you will not meet them until you are out there too. Spend some time with actual artsy people. For that matter, spend some more time with actual Republican women in your area. You may discover that some of them don't hold the opinions about TV, movies and sex that you assume they do. But you must have an open mind.

2)be more flexible. There is no woman who will both fit all of your specifications and for whom you will fit all of her specifications. I think you are forgetting about the latter part of the equation. Relationships take compromise. If you won't bend and give up some of the things on your list, why would a woman give up some of the things on her list? You are assuming that once you meet the woman who ticks off all the boxes, you will be compatible. But what if you find her and she doesn't want you? This is fairly likely. The way that actual relationships happen is people go in with some ideas of what they want- mostly based on personality-and the rest is negotiable. If you are unwilling to budge, you will not be in a relationship. Because relationships are a two-way street. If you want her to accept you for who you are, you'd better be prepared to accept her for who she is. Wouldn't it be ironic if you met an artsy, horny, fiscally conservative Republican liberal who likes all the same sexual experiments you do followed by watching South Park...only to discover she won't date anyone who is above a certain age? It would be ironic indeed and would make a good short story. But if you want an actual relationship with an actual woman and not just to message a profile while you look at an avatar, you will have to go out there in the real world and meet real women and be far more flexible on what you want. Because relationships are not possible without flexibility.

Or you could follow Granite's advice and hire a hooker off Craigslist. You could pay her extra to pretend to be a fiscally conservative artsy liberal who like the Simpsons. It wouldn't be a relationship but it's as close as anybody can come to having a fantasy fulfilled. Real women aren't fantasies. Hookers aren't either. But for a fee they will pretend to fulfill a fantasy for a short while.

Janissy what she says.

The fact is you don't have an open mind Tim. People often confuse alternative with an open mind, they are not remotely similar.

This thread.. sigh.

Yes, I am a bit repressed.

And it is a way to live vicariously through them.

Also, I felt that I had been cheated out of a lot of opportunities in my life. My parents wouldn't let me drive until I was 21. And that kept me from having any sort of social life, or going to a college that I might have actually wanted to go to. And the opportunities I was cheated out of, I can't get back. They were paranoid about me "partying" if I went to school far away, and lived on my own. I had to settle for a community college near them, one that was more vo-tech-oriented, and didn't really prepare me for a 4-year university. My high school gave people As just for showing up, and didn't prepare me for college, because if they were more college prep, "only the white students would graduate". My original major was geology, and since I wasn't adequately prepared, mathwise, I had to change my major.

They even tried to guilt-trip me into making the decisions they wanted me to make. It's like they had some pre-determined plan as to how my life would be, and when I acted independently, they were disappointed. I ended up repressing 99% of the thoughts I had. Yet after bottling up my emotions long enough, I ended up having meltdowns, and when I did, they acted all surprised.

I could have gone off to college when I was 18 and graduated when I was 22, but because my parents wanted me to live vicariously through them, I was set back several years, and I didn't even become a junior in college until I was 27. My lack of a bachelor's degree kept me from having good employment. In fact, the only way I got employment between 2003 and 2007 was because a former employer hired me back out of nowhere. It only paid $11 an hour and was part-time, not even enough to get a place of my own. And to an NT, living with your parents past the age of, say, 21 is a major turn-off. Because NTs are so hung up on whether someone is employed full-time and has a place of his own, that's when I started limiting myself to other Aspies, because they're not judgmental about those things and not obsessed about social class. I had a relationship with one for three years, and it ended because she wanted to wait an additional five years before getting married, and she didn't believe in premarital or non-procreational sex. That's when I added the liberal and Simpsons/South Park criteria.

I left my job to attend school full-time. Now I was unemployed, another turn-off to NTs. Part-time employment is still unemployment, and they do not bend the rules for students. Yet there were Aspies who were staying in abusive relationships and dating drug addicts and alcoholics. When NTs say employed, they explicitly mean full-time. If you are unemployed and still living with youyr parents, any attempt to contact them is considered stalking even if it's because of school.

How about quit blaming everyone else for the way YOU feel?

I'm impressed with the struggle man. I know a lot of people who give up when things start to get challenging. I grew up in virtual isolation from the rest of society. The only interaction I had was with my 9 siblings and the mormon church. I understand where you're coming from, you watch your peer group live their lives and you get to feeling like an outcast.

I think if you look back at your life 10 years from now, you'll see a guy who overcame obstacles that some people never have to face. I have this habit of wanting to go for christian girls because I think they're better relationship material. Before that, it was exclusively skinny girls (boarderline anorexic) in response to the set-ups I was always getting.

It's easy to forget that stereotyping is an aspie tendency, we like to categorize people for simplicity sake. I got an A in sociology and I still did this. I tend to correct people when I have an experience that contradicts their views, in a way it's hippocritical, but that's just my way of helping out.

Can we quit being on Tim's case for having a "long list" of requirements? I only have one, that she actually likes me back... it's almost a prerequisite to having an actual relationship (i.e. if she doesn't like me back, there's no way any relationship would last anyway). On top of that, I blame nobody but myself for the condition I'm in. Yet my luck is worse than his...