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Is it easier for aspie women than aspie men?

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Bethie
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05 Jan 2011, 8:51 pm

billsmithglendale wrote:
menintights wrote:
Haven't you heard? A man isn't rejected unless he's told flat-out by a woman that she isn't interested in him, but a woman is rejected every time a man takes one look at her and doesn't think she's good enough for him to bother remember seeing. Given how easily it is for any female who doesn't conform to certain "standards" of attractiveness to be dismissed as fat, ugly, homely, or otherwise unattractive, that's a lot of women who you've rejected.

Talk about shutting someone out so quickly.


LOL! See, it's all your fault, BacktothePile ;) :P

Honestly, menintights, how is that different than the same selection process women do when they see a bald guy, a fat guy, etc.? People who chose other people visually are going to do the same kinds of things.


The process is the same.

This thread is about who has it easier.

So I'm betting the point was that men do this far more often, no?


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Bethie
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05 Jan 2011, 9:06 pm

BackToThePile wrote:

A woman has only to be presentable, act decent, and show interest.

If that was the case, there wouldn't be tens of millions of both NT and Aspie women who meet this description who are woefully single for years on end.
BackToThePile wrote:

The man must bear the full brunt of rejection time and time again from strangers who simply do not wish to even know them. Fifty strangers and 49 rejections to get one date. Then rejected after one date. Without being given a chance, rejected after one meeting. I cannot fathom shutting someone out so quickly, and have never dated someone once who showed interest that I would not want to date again.

Is being rejected because of how you look
by men who do not wish to even know you
not a reality average and ugly-looking women face every day?

There seems to be a real disconnect between what an average woman's life is like
and the perceptions of the men here.

Women who get approached out of the blue by strangers are being approached because of their appearance.
It stands to reason that this is extremely uncommon thing for a stranger to do unless said woman was exceptionally striking.

Women who are approached in other situations are being approached once someone has gotten to know them better,
though appearance probably plays a role here as well,
and usually it's because they have managed to come off as friendly, sociable, and approachable-
not traits that come easy to Aspies.

Maybe we need to take a field trip over to the women's section and talk to the dozens of women who've never had a date in their lives.


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Last edited by Bethie on 05 Jan 2011, 9:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.

BackToThePile
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05 Jan 2011, 9:16 pm

To answer your question menintights, yes it is very difficult for unattractive women. But it can be just as difficult for attractive men.



billsmithglendale
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06 Jan 2011, 11:16 am

Bethie wrote:
billsmithglendale wrote:
menintights wrote:
Haven't you heard? A man isn't rejected unless he's told flat-out by a woman that she isn't interested in him, but a woman is rejected every time a man takes one look at her and doesn't think she's good enough for him to bother remember seeing. Given how easily it is for any female who doesn't conform to certain "standards" of attractiveness to be dismissed as fat, ugly, homely, or otherwise unattractive, that's a lot of women who you've rejected.

Talk about shutting someone out so quickly.


LOL! See, it's all your fault, BacktothePile ;) :P

Honestly, menintights, how is that different than the same selection process women do when they see a bald guy, a fat guy, etc.? People who chose other people visually are going to do the same kinds of things.


The process is the same.

This thread is about who has it easier.

So I'm betting the point was that men do this far more often, no?


If that was his point, it wasn't a clear one -- why would men do this more than women?

My point is that this is already factored in, and that is equal, and not a tipping factor either way. Other factors, already mentioned, tip the balance in favor of women in terms of who gets approached, constantly.



billsmithglendale
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06 Jan 2011, 11:28 am

Bethie wrote:

Maybe we need to take a field trip over to the women's section and talk to the dozens of women who've never had a date in their lives.


Agreed, but perhaps they could come here? I wouldn't want to invade that section with my rhetoric.

Also, why are they not on this part of the site? Are they uninterested in dates, or have they given up? If the former, are they still relevant to our discussion if they don't want company?



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06 Jan 2011, 11:33 am

billsmithglendale wrote:
Bethie wrote:

Maybe we need to take a field trip over to the women's section and talk to the dozens of women who've never had a date in their lives.


Agreed, but perhaps they could come here? I wouldn't want to invade that section with my rhetoric.

Also, why are they not on this part of the site? Are they uninterested in dates, or have they given up? If the former, are they still relevant to our discussion if they don't want company?


Maybe they don't want to have to put up with the men complaining at them about how they have it more difficult :roll:



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06 Jan 2011, 11:49 am

AS much as I don't care whether men or women have it easier (all I know is that I have it difficult) I just want everyone to understand that we all have our views on this subject, and all this arguing doesn't seem to change anyone's opinions. I would advise everyone not to keep feeding these threads, but I suspect that people actually enjoy the fight, so maybe not.

"Be careful when you fight with monsters, lest you become one."


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billsmithglendale
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06 Jan 2011, 11:50 am

emlion wrote:
billsmithglendale wrote:
Bethie wrote:

Maybe we need to take a field trip over to the women's section and talk to the dozens of women who've never had a date in their lives.


Agreed, but perhaps they could come here? I wouldn't want to invade that section with my rhetoric.

Also, why are they not on this part of the site? Are they uninterested in dates, or have they given up? If the former, are they still relevant to our discussion if they don't want company?


Maybe they don't want to have to put up with the men complaining at them about how they have it more difficult :roll:


Maybe... But if we don't hear that side, then we only get evidence that reinforces our bias, correct? Because right now, I'm not seeing a whole heck of a lot of "I can't get a date" posts from women here (yes, there are a few) vs. the male volume.



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06 Jan 2011, 11:50 am

I thought the women's discussion folder was so they could talk about things that they are only comfortable discussing with other women.


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emlion
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06 Jan 2011, 11:51 am

Or we could divert it into something fun.
Like kittens in dresses again. :lol:



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06 Jan 2011, 11:51 am

billsmithglendale wrote:
emlion wrote:
billsmithglendale wrote:
Bethie wrote:

Maybe we need to take a field trip over to the women's section and talk to the dozens of women who've never had a date in their lives.


Agreed, but perhaps they could come here? I wouldn't want to invade that section with my rhetoric.

Also, why are they not on this part of the site? Are they uninterested in dates, or have they given up? If the former, are they still relevant to our discussion if they don't want company?


Maybe they don't want to have to put up with the men complaining at them about how they have it more difficult :roll:


Maybe... But if we don't hear that side, then we only get evidence that reinforces our bias, correct? Because right now, I'm not seeing a whole heck of a lot of "I can't get a date" posts from women here (yes, there are a few) vs. the male volume.


Or perhaps they just don't like discussing relationships, whatever their status.


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06 Jan 2011, 1:17 pm

It's because God cursed Aspie men if you ask me.



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06 Jan 2011, 3:36 pm

Image



emlion
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06 Jan 2011, 3:44 pm

forget the cat.
I WANT TO COLOUR IN WITH CRAYONS. :D :D



Bethie
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07 Jan 2011, 8:51 am

billsmithglendale wrote:
emlion wrote:
billsmithglendale wrote:
Bethie wrote:

Maybe we need to take a field trip over to the women's section and talk to the dozens of women who've never had a date in their lives.


Agreed, but perhaps they could come here? I wouldn't want to invade that section with my rhetoric.

Also, why are they not on this part of the site? Are they uninterested in dates, or have they given up? If the former, are they still relevant to our discussion if they don't want company?


Maybe they don't want to have to put up with the men complaining at them about how they have it more difficult :roll:


Maybe... But if we don't hear that side, then we only get evidence that reinforces our bias, correct? Because right now, I'm not seeing a whole heck of a lot of "I can't get a date" posts from women here (yes, there are a few) vs. the male volume.


So.you form your opinions based off your personal perceptions of who complains the most based on a FORUM.

Telling.


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07 Jan 2011, 8:32 pm

billsmithglendale wrote:
emlion wrote:
billsmithglendale wrote:
Bethie wrote:

Maybe we need to take a field trip over to the women's section and talk to the dozens of women who've never had a date in their lives.


Agreed, but perhaps they could come here? I wouldn't want to invade that section with my rhetoric.

Also, why are they not on this part of the site? Are they uninterested in dates, or have they given up? If the former, are they still relevant to our discussion if they don't want company?


Maybe they don't want to have to put up with the men complaining at them about how they have it more difficult :roll:


Maybe... But if we don't hear that side, then we only get evidence that reinforces our bias, correct? Because right now, I'm not seeing a whole heck of a lot of "I can't get a date" posts from women here (yes, there are a few) vs. the male volume.


That's because when such a post does crop up, it's shot down by a chorus of males shouting
"It's easy, all you have to do is look pretty, not be too awkward, and go shirtless in public!"


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