The Sex Friend Trend

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Well that's part of why I'm not into casual sex either; tiptoeing is optional but backfiring is inevitability so as I was saying my priority is continuity & more good times, not nitpicking on what we do with those.

lol wut? is this real life?

i think this is a dirty fantasie not exist in reality among normal?

when people are too horny,,, logic fails!

Last edited by awkward facepalm on 13 Jun 2017, 4:09 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Who are you referring to though? the good times continue to outweigh the bad?, yada yada yada.
Its got to be more realistic to accept your potential date as someone yes, but also not like a piece of meat, but that eventually, those benefits may fall into the third zone risk cateogory all the same.
What usually churns behind are poor understanding of the other and tying to change them to fit your ideal.
Women are more prone to unfortunate abuse from men than their own sex because men are shaped to correspond to duty, far better than women with any ounce of integrity sewn into them from birth.

Yeah life's not necessarily easy but I'm thankful constantly. I absolutely did not say any of that. Nor am I here to describe anybody; only to learn. If learning or understanding makes me a weird guy why not say so?

Pretty much.

I can understand why anyone with a sex drive might find having a sex friend appealing. Personally, the all or nothing relationship is what makes my life worth living. I have only limited experience in casual sexual relationships though. Contrary to popular myth, sailors don't really have a woman in every port. Well, at least I didn't. I only had 3 sexually active relationships in my life. My first was a friend, and she never meant for anything more than sex and she was honest with me about it so I decided to give it a shot (no pun intended). One was a relatively short term relationship in which our paths crossed but neither of us was truly willing to change the direction that our life was going (selfish of me, I know) she told me she loved me, but I could not honestly say the same even though I liked her and cared about her. I waited for my wife (or she waited for me) for quite a while even after we knew that we were permanent, even though neither of us was a virgin, it just felt right. It was worth the wait as the emotional attachment and desire to please her, made lovemaking far more profound and ecstatic than simple sex could ever be.

I had a former "friend" lead me on and then dump me after I gave him a blowjob.

In other words the douchebag tricked me into a relationship and then dumped me. Same idiot tricked me again two months later then told me "I forgot I am already dating someone" TWO f*****g DAYS LATER after I fell for it the second time. I was incredibly livid with him.

I am not sure its a trend, "friends with benefits (FWB)" has been around for quite a while. That being said having FWBs was magical for me. (I say was as I am married now). I am pretty bad at relationships especially the communication part which is pretty much critical. Couple that with it can just get overwhelming especially when a partner has needs that you cant meet. Sex became the primary way I related to the opposite sex. I could express myself physically to someone else, which was generally appreciated, without talking too much. FWBs can be very healthy esp for someone like me that has spectrum challenges. The terms are defined up front and everyone is honest about what they want, the contact is of limited duration, no messy emotions that get in the way, and its a lighthearted but intimate way to relate to others.

I see what you're saying but some people are like velcro, if I did that I'd wind up with a bunch of hooks pointing the wrong way.

I had a couple of "friends with benefits" during the 1980s.

I would say that people are more cautious nowadays.

I had a FWB relationship years ago. It all went well until I started to have feelings for her, and she started to have feelings for another guy.

Now I'm just over a relatively long-lasting relationship. I have sexual needs like almost everyone, but I've never been one for one-night stands, and I just couldn't bring myself to feel anything more than friendship towards anyone. Another FWB relationship would be fun, but that's the most I need. I've used up all my romantic feelings for a lifetime (or at least for a very long time).

Update on my merchant sailor Phoenix Nights experience. Your story sounds startlingly similar to mine right now, and I never thought about the girl in every port bit. He sounds v similar to how you are describing things, anyway, damn mariner is virtually non-sex, unless with 'right woman', and I feel its all or nothing now. He is 31 going on 40. I'm still waiting to see if that verdict can be confirmed or not, as I am inclined to tackle him about it soon. I however have looked up some stats based from his chinese horoscope, and it does kind of fall into place, but the truth of the lies will probably keep on coming. Sea Peerage is well met and well stared though.
The end of the journey is at clear for at least one of us, the so and so, even put up a fresh pic of his days as a mariner and not of a recent one, so I'm afraid to say, v disappointed. When I look at someone I want to know I'm getting the whole package, not a half baked deal on the back burner of say yes to me. I have nothing to offer you and stuff, and he can write for the whole of Ocean Britain, and I'm wondering now if I'll ever find the officer and gent in the same sentence. I have also been supplying us with safe fishing requirements, so the same old line of you should never bite a mariner who knows how to bait a fish with clear hook line and sinker is clear. I said more or less, i expected more than that and should there be no more clear offer on the table then to look elsewhere because I fear I have been poured with engine oil and set alight out to sea. The man also has a clear memory, and although i said, I dont wish to offend you, and filled him with added such compliments, I fear he may have just increased his waist band size just reading it! Captain Birdseye is going a bit far but there is only so much of a good thing for one girl like me.

Another update, is I've written to John, he wrote back and his clarity on the age gap has cleared up my conscience a bit. I was right I think, although i never quite got to the truth of it, I feel he is an aging mariner who has given up all hope on love and ardour so sought me out to impress me. As that may be I am impressed, but I spent money on getting the 'fishing equipment' and since he's deleted his account I will end up having to accept the deliveries, storing them away for future maritine use. He also stated he put youngish pics up so that he wouldn't need to look like a troll.. but he never once sounded like one. Why oh why delilah.

I wish I could have had one of these in all my 20's.