6-Pack Abs

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The ideal physique. And preferably covered in mud

I have no doubt that women are put under unrealistic expectations and are competitive when it comes to who looks the best, I suppose it's similar to men competing with cars, wealth or sexual promiscuity. I find it to be very shallow and that physical attraction or attraction based on money is simply fake attraction and only gets a foot in the door, it's our ability to respond and handle situations and our character that truly sustains any relationship or friendship. After all to me, it's connection that truly matters because beauty is fleeting. but I do enjoy to workout and if someone I like has a healthy lifestyle, it is a factor but I wouldn't say it's a determining factor. Like all things, I think relationships take an equal amount of blood, sweat and tears and that applies to anything, It could apply to having a rota to maintain a house or family, it could apply to sharing an equal amount of responsibilities and duties but it doesn't mean I'd expect my future partner to have six pack abs or be wonder woman, it's about sharing burdens and cooperating towards a mutual goal.

I agree physical attraction (or attraction based on money, etc.) is superficial and shallow and that people should never base their relationship on it. Still, for many people it helps to be attractive. (Dare to say, especially if you're a girl; sometimes, an unattractive girl can be a wonderful person without anybody noticing her). Traditionally, it is said women pay less attention to the man's physical appearance and that "ugly" men have have more chances of attracting a partner than "ugly" women. But it seems (like I always suspected) that ladies care about a man's appearance, too.

Still, it's not fair to disregard anybody based on physical appearance alone, be it because he's too "ugly" or because he's too attractive.

You sound like a great guy (judging by your posts around here) and I feel bad for maybe saying some crappy stuff about guys who work out or have 6 pack. I sure don't judge people by their appearance (I try not to), but I guess bad experiences make people cautious, scared or intimidated. It's not an excuse, though.

PS- As for my looks, I have what is called a hourglass figure and that's supposed to be attractive. But some guys find it attractive and others find it ugly/fat. So it all depends. (Though the fact nobody can "check" my body due to the types of clothes I wear might not land accurate results here).

You come across as a very mature person and I'm glad you have expressed how you felt because you've broadened my insight and I can understand how you may feel hurt or defensive because of the past, it's very hard for people to let go of negative experiences and move on to have a positive perspective right away. I've certainly been hurt in the past and felt insecure about certain issues but I remind myself it's important to not let those painful experiences define who I am or make my outlook bitter or negative.

I do agree that it is shallow that looks can overshadow personality or character but I think in the long run, it's personality and character that is more sustainable throughout life and relationships, I think what is truly important in a relationship is connectivity, a sense of security, trust and comfort and I think if more people married for these reasons instead of money, looks, social status or peer pressure, there would be less divorces and people in unhappy situations.

I can't speak for all women, but I generally like guys on the skinnier side. It might be because I'm kind of scrawny myself. I don't know. I'm kind of intimidated my athletic people in general, though. I always think that they're judging me because I can't run a mile without having an asthma attack unless I carefully regulate my medication or that they want me to work out and get in better shape. It's probably just my insecurity talking.

Well, I'm 30, I better be mature. I guess I do have a certain experience and I can look back and see things more clearly than when I was a teen or even in my early 20s.

The last thing I want is to make this thread into some "poor me and f..k handsome men, they're all bastards" whining. After all, I'm fine: I am married to a (reasonably good looking man) who finds me attractive. So it's not like I'm trying to prove something personal here.

But I do think it's important for men to know (if they're interested in it) how women see certain things. We all know that, from the health side of the argument, it's healthy to work out. It can also be an interesting hobby or a way to build your confidence, like you said.

I just tried to point out why some women might find "6 pack guys" (or other attractive guys) intimidating. Maybe it's a similar mechanism why some men find certain highly attractive women intimidating (which results in the fact that decent guys rarely approach these women).

So I advise any decent guy who is interested in dating a nice girl and who wants to be liked for who he is, not to "advertise" his 6 pack on the first date or something. (I'm not saying anybody here does that, but there are guys who do it). Just like a woman with huge breasts shouldn't wear revealing tops if she wants to meet a guy who is interested in her personality, a 6 pack guy should keep his body as a surprise for later.

Because, seriously, only a b...h would turn down a man whose personality she likes because he has a 6 pack and she prefers men to be less muscular.

Re 'highly attractive women' - I can imagine being intimidated by the ones who put a lot of effort into their appearance, but the other type of highly attractive woman who just looks like a normal person with really big eyes and a beautiful face are the most approachable, because being open is part of their nature. I always found it interesting that the girls I considered the prettiest had worked out a way of being with men where they were just really friendly.

I actually have a funny obsession that I'm not able to be sexually interested in a man unless they have a flawless 6-pack. Good arms help too, but I'd rather go for skinny than even a little bit chubby man. Friendship is a different matter, though, looks don't matter when it comes to that.

I can't really see what help money is when it comes to sex unless talking to a professional

I've been approached by some older man who made over 10 million dollars a year and was looking for a pretty thing by his side, I didn't waste a second for second thoughts when turning him down.

you see them all naked before you become interested?

Like in some episode of "V" series.

Men stand in line all naked, and the queen picks her favorite male to mate with and then she eats him.

No, unfortunately can't see them all naked immediately... It shouldn't be against the rules to talk to people first before starting to flirt with them

six-pack questionnaire?

Six-pack hand test.

If it has to be flawless, a simple hand test won't suffice. Some sort of experts should be involved. Maybe a certification system?

It can't sound that silly... Asking about somebody's workout routine should be a fairly normal flirty question and if there is chemistry and attraction enough for kissing, it comes quite naturally for me to caress their torso at the same time.