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Friendship with the opposite sex vs sexual selection.....

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DW_a_mom
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07 May 2012, 12:36 pm

Zinia wrote:

Ultimately though--beauty is subjective. Who you find beautiful will not always find herself beautiful, nor will she be seen as beautiful by every guy. This is the truth I will definitely stand by.


Yes. I'll stand by that one, too.


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mv
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07 May 2012, 12:38 pm

DW_a_mom wrote:
I'm thinking I'm not organizing my thoughts all that well and, to be honest, I'm not really enjoying putting my head back into the dating world. It isn't the happiest place for me; too much guessing what other people think and most people getting it wrong (nothing personal to anyone, but that IS the world of dating). I just get this funny idea sometimes that I can help someone short cut some of the learning process and get better results ... Well, like I said, it's a funny idea.


DW_a_mom, I get the impression that the differentials here are generation-based, too. I'm older (in 40's) and single, so *technically* in the dating world (though not dating at the moment) and I don't identify with most of the stereotypes being thrown around here. I just sit back and read and shake my head, 'cause it seems like such a very long time ago that I was capable of seeing the world is such dismal, rigid ways. :wink:



Delphiki
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07 May 2012, 12:42 pm

I think it is mostly that the more out there views/ stereotypes that are controverisal are said more often, or are remembered more


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07 May 2012, 12:55 pm

Delphiki wrote:
I think it is mostly that the more out there views/ stereotypes that are controverisal are said more often, or are remembered more


Oh, I think you're right, at least as it applies to me. Definite memory bias on my part. 8)



ValentineWiggin
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07 May 2012, 2:03 pm

So, so SO sick of people presuming to speak for an entire sex of people,
or claim that because they notice (in all their psychologically UN-primed objectivity) XYZ social phenomenon, it's how humans operate, full stop.


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07 May 2012, 2:36 pm

agree with the above. it would not be so bad if those generalisations were occasionally correct, but they stand out to me because of their blatant inaccuracy and lack of regard for individuality.


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07 May 2012, 2:39 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
agree with the above. it would not be so bad if those generalisations were occasionally correct, but they stand out to me because of their blatant inaccuracy and lack of regard for individuality.


Generalizations both negative and positive (which i see plenty of for both genders) always miss this. But you do have to agree that as individuals theres a point where a lot of people will have the same XXXXX, if that grows large enough it can become a generalization and if it grows more it can become expected out of people



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07 May 2012, 2:40 pm

MXH wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
agree with the above. it would not be so bad if those generalisations were occasionally correct, but they stand out to me because of their blatant inaccuracy and lack of regard for individuality.


Generalizations both negative and positive (which i see plenty of for both genders) always miss this. But you do have to agree that as individuals theres a point where a lot of people will have the same XXXXX, if that grows large enough it can become a generalization and if it grows more it can become expected out of people


That sounds inappropriate :P


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Last edited by Delphiki on 07 May 2012, 2:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.

ValentineWiggin
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07 May 2012, 2:46 pm

MXH wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
agree with the above. it would not be so bad if those generalisations were occasionally correct, but they stand out to me because of their blatant inaccuracy and lack of regard for individuality.


Generalizations both negative and positive (which i see plenty of for both genders) always miss this. But you do have to agree that as individuals theres a point where a lot of people will have the same XXXXX, if that grows large enough it can become a generalization and if it grows more it can become expected out of people


No.
No, no, no.

Subjectively-"large" numbers of a class who can be stereotyped do not constitute REPRESENTATIVE trends.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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07 May 2012, 3:21 pm

DW_a_mom wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
MXH wrote:
Yep, that part was very true. It seems your ration only goes down with time, never up



With that pic



And i bet it won't change much.

I did according to hyper's link, i didn't smile, I am looking away but .... Lol


Can I say this as a piece of advice? WHY do you take your pictures looking up at your face? It is sooo unflattering, everything is out of proportion. If you want the best results, find the most flattering angle for YOU, and forget all the stats.


I don't get it.

I wasn't looking up at my face.



DW_a_mom
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07 May 2012, 3:26 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
DW_a_mom wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
MXH wrote:
Yep, that part was very true. It seems your ration only goes down with time, never up



With that pic



And i bet it won't change much.

I did according to hyper's link, i didn't smile, I am looking away but .... Lol


Can I say this as a piece of advice? WHY do you take your pictures looking up at your face? It is sooo unflattering, everything is out of proportion. If you want the best results, find the most flattering angle for YOU, and forget all the stats.


I don't get it.


The picture you put in this thread, and the ones I saw in another thread, are taken at what is, for most people, an unflattering angle. If you want positive feedback on a photo, why are you using pictures taken at an angle that makes most people, in my experience, look really bad?

A close-in up-shot rarely looks good. That is what I am trying to say. Since it sounds like you would like people to respond positively to your photo, it seems you might want to know if there was a simple change which improve the response. And I think there is: take the photo from a higher angle.

EDIT: you've since added that you were not looking up at your face but the shorts ARE looking up, even if only a little, they very much feel that way. JHMO, of course, but I think you are probably better looking than your pictures.

I can also say that photos we take of ourselves while holding the camera are never our best, because the arms get into the photo at an unflattering angle.

Hey, you know, I'm old and married, so I have no horse in this race, but I thought the feedback might be helpful to you. I really do believe you are probably better looking than your pictures.


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Last edited by DW_a_mom on 07 May 2012, 3:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.

The_Face_of_Boo
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07 May 2012, 3:30 pm

DW_a_mom wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
DW_a_mom wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
MXH wrote:
Yep, that part was very true. It seems your ration only goes down with time, never up



With that pic



And i bet it won't change much.

I did according to hyper's link, i didn't smile, I am looking away but .... Lol


Can I say this as a piece of advice? WHY do you take your pictures looking up at your face? It is sooo unflattering, everything is out of proportion. If you want the best results, find the most flattering angle for YOU, and forget all the stats.


I don't get it.


The picture you put in this thread, and the ones I saw in another thread, are taken at what is, for most people, an unflattering angle. If you want positive feedback on a photo, why are you using pictures taken at an angle that makes most people, in my experience, look really bad?

A close-in up-shot rarely looks good. That is what I am trying to say. Since it sounds like you would like people to respond positively to your photo, it seems you might want to know if there was a simple change which improve the response. And I think there is.



I gonna show you pics of members who passed and scored high, most of them are close-in up shots.

No it's not much a matter of angle.



DW_a_mom
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07 May 2012, 3:36 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
DW_a_mom wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
DW_a_mom wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
MXH wrote:
Yep, that part was very true. It seems your ration only goes down with time, never up



With that pic



And i bet it won't change much.

I did according to hyper's link, i didn't smile, I am looking away but .... Lol


Can I say this as a piece of advice? WHY do you take your pictures looking up at your face? It is sooo unflattering, everything is out of proportion. If you want the best results, find the most flattering angle for YOU, and forget all the stats.


I don't get it.


The picture you put in this thread, and the ones I saw in another thread, are taken at what is, for most people, an unflattering angle. If you want positive feedback on a photo, why are you using pictures taken at an angle that makes most people, in my experience, look really bad?

A close-in up-shot rarely looks good. That is what I am trying to say. Since it sounds like you would like people to respond positively to your photo, it seems you might want to know if there was a simple change which improve the response. And I think there is.



I gonna show you pics of members who passed and scored high, most of them are close-in up shots.

No it's not much a matter of angle.


Don't try to be so scientific about this. Those pictures are not you, different types of photos flatter different types of people. I am telling you as a woman that I believe you are better looking than the pictures I've seen you post, and suggesting you find a way to get pictures that flatter you better. Take it or leave it, but that is my advice as an older married lady, and you KNOW how much us older married ladies like to get young people matched up.

PS - I added more to the quoted post while you were quoting it.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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07 May 2012, 3:45 pm

DW_a_mom wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
DW_a_mom wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
DW_a_mom wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
MXH wrote:
Yep, that part was very true. It seems your ration only goes down with time, never up



With that pic



And i bet it won't change much.

I did according to hyper's link, i didn't smile, I am looking away but .... Lol


Can I say this as a piece of advice? WHY do you take your pictures looking up at your face? It is sooo unflattering, everything is out of proportion. If you want the best results, find the most flattering angle for YOU, and forget all the stats.


I don't get it.


The picture you put in this thread, and the ones I saw in another thread, are taken at what is, for most people, an unflattering angle. If you want positive feedback on a photo, why are you using pictures taken at an angle that makes most people, in my experience, look really bad?

A close-in up-shot rarely looks good. That is what I am trying to say. Since it sounds like you would like people to respond positively to your photo, it seems you might want to know if there was a simple change which improve the response. And I think there is.



I gonna show you pics of members who passed and scored high, most of them are close-in up shots.

No it's not much a matter of angle.


Don't try to be so scientific about this. Those pictures are not you, different types of photos flatter different types of people. I am telling you as a woman that I believe you are better looking than the pictures I've seen you post, and suggesting you find a way to get pictures that flatter you better. Take it or leave it, but that is my advice as an older married lady, and you KNOW how much us older married ladies like to get young people matched up.

PS - I added more to the quoted post while you were quoting it.



Weird, most people said that pic is very good (it's my current av on fb) - you're the first one who said that negative things about this pic in particular.

But hence the results (objective voting) are low then who to believe? probably you?



The_Face_of_Boo
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07 May 2012, 3:47 pm

DW_a_mom wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
DW_a_mom wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
DW_a_mom wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
MXH wrote:
Yep, that part was very true. It seems your ration only goes down with time, never up



With that pic



And i bet it won't change much.

I did according to hyper's link, i didn't smile, I am looking away but .... Lol


Can I say this as a piece of advice? WHY do you take your pictures looking up at your face? It is sooo unflattering, everything is out of proportion. If you want the best results, find the most flattering angle for YOU, and forget all the stats.


I don't get it.


The picture you put in this thread, and the ones I saw in another thread, are taken at what is, for most people, an unflattering angle. If you want positive feedback on a photo, why are you using pictures taken at an angle that makes most people, in my experience, look really bad?

A close-in up-shot rarely looks good. That is what I am trying to say. Since it sounds like you would like people to respond positively to your photo, it seems you might want to know if there was a simple change which improve the response. And I think there is.



I gonna show you pics of members who passed and scored high, most of them are close-in up shots.

No it's not much a matter of angle.


Don't try to be so scientific about this. Those pictures are not you, different types of photos flatter different types of people. I am telling you as a woman that I believe you are better looking than the pictures I've seen you post, and suggesting you find a way to get pictures that flatter you better. Take it or leave it, but that is my advice as an older married lady, and you KNOW how much us older married ladies like to get young people matched up.

PS - I added more to the quoted post while you were quoting it.



Weird, most people said that pic is very good (it's my current av on fb) - you're the first one who said those negative things about this pic in particular.

But hence the results (objective voting) are low then who to believe? probably you?



DW_a_mom
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07 May 2012, 4:02 pm

Well, I would take people who know you in real life over my opinion based on a few on-line photos, of course. But if most of your pictures have been at that angle, maybe there wasn't a great sample to choose from? Or maybe you just aren't photogenic. I don't know, I just can't help but feel that the picture isn't flattering because of the angle at which it was taken.


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