How on Earth do you approach & talk to women?

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Say you are about to approach someone and you start thinking about their possible reactions, you have to consider if some of this possibilities are logical and how many times have you seen those happen before assuming the worst situation is going to happen.

I do change the oil every 3000km instead of 6000km because the oil goes very black at around that point...I don't think it can handle high temps at 15000rpm as well...

I dunno, I am from Mars.

Oh, and the answer is...

-drum roll-

If you can't initiate a casual conversation with somebody you are interested in, then chances are you couldn't maintain a relationship with the person either. Practice makes perfect. Make the effort to place yourself in situations where you have the opportunity to initiate casual conversation with strangers for no other reason than to be social. Do so within your comfort limits. Push those limits a little at a time. Then use the skills that you have developed through application of effort to approach people you would like to converse with regularly, if the opportunity presents itself. Go get 'em tigers

See? Quite simple really...

Mmmm,wouldn't you say that may depend on the circumstances?.I was at the grocery store today and saw a woman I would have liked to get to know but approaching a random stranger at a grocery store is not an easy thing to do for even an extroverted person, let alone someone with AS..

Mmmm,wouldn't you say that may depend on the circumstances?.I was at the grocery store today and saw a woman I would have liked to get to know but approaching a random stranger at a grocery store is not an easy thing to do for even an extroverted person, let alone someone with AS..

I'm still stuck with the same problem I've had for as far back as my memory goes: having no freaking clue how to approach and talk to a woman that looks interesting. Even on OKC, I still can't bring myself to message a total stranger. Whoever came up with this social standard that guys had to be the ones to initiate the conversation first should be taken out back and shot.

Does anyone have any (and I do mean ANY) suggestions as to how to approach someone? I guess I'm willing to limit suggestions to online ideas since there's no way in hell I'll meet a woman in public, but I'll take any advice I can get.

So "Did you watch the formula 1 race yesterday?" or "What supplements do you recommend for optimal muscle growth?" are adequate ways to get a girl's attention?

Case in point. Most ways guys start convos are things most women will not care for. And are also things that would not make you come across as someone interested and rather some anoying passerby.

Really, cause most guys in my life are into comic books and horror movies. Most girls in my life are into those things too.

If you were interested in making a new male friend would you open with a barrage of your ow interests or maybe make a comment on something you know you have in common or the potential friend is interested in.

Read the profile, talk about the common interest that prompted you to message her.
If you're only interested in her picture, and can't find anything on her profile you can talk about, just don't.

Most men have few interests in common with their significant others, apart from a few key interests. Very few women are interested in soccer, cars, muscle building or video games, but most men are interested in one of these examples.

Take a look at all the girls who are interested in Twillight and Zumba fitness or all the men who are interested in NFL and restoring old sports cars. Do you seriously think that most interests need to clash to make a successful relationship? Spouses should have some differences and should IMHO appreciate the difference between the genders.

The key is finding what the person likes. Is it so evil to have a basis on what to look for?

That was witty.

Well what about her made you want to get to know her? It does help in having conversation if you know something more about a person than liking their boobies.
If there is something besides appearance that yo find interesting about someone, that is a decent place to start conversation.

For me putting this extra analysis on top of my already quite analytical attitude in such situations would only make me stutter more. I used to do those scenario tests extensively though.

What helps me, and seems to be going good so far is reducing the analysis and only when there is no more flow (which can be alot, depends) I think of something that is hopefully related to the previous lines. What makes it save the disaster is putting new arrows in that line. Mentioning things that the recipient can react to.
I find that it can even have 0% correlation with last line and still be happily accepted and continued upon.

The thing is, the first thing you'll experience is physical attraction. That will make you want to find out more information about that person, which is the second step. If you find out she isn't a total airhead, that will lead to wanting to engage in conversation, to see what happens.

Women aren't any more/less complicated then men. If you can talk to men, you can talk to women.

If it's just online it shouldn't be too hard. On something like OKC just send them a message along the lines of "Hi, I'm so and so, blah blah blah, I found your profile interesting. I think it's really neat that you..." something along those lines. When they're already online the odds of being flattered rather than creeped out are more in your favor.



I'm going to take issue with this statement here. Some of the people who have argued that women are different to talk to are right but they took issue with the wrong part.

The arguing I have seen so far is about some silly theory that you should only talk to men about sports, cars, or viagra and that you should only talk to women about knitting, kittens and kitchenware. Or some sh** like that. Most conversational topics are perfectly acceptable to both sexes, the main exception I could think of is lewd talk about what you find physically attractive in the opposite sex.

What makes talking to women different isn't so much the verbal part of talking, it is the non verbal part where most problems lie and unfortunately also consists of most human communication.

Generally, women are more serious about eye contact. Some aspie girls may be different but this is generally true. I always have a hard time talking with other people because I have to put in a lot of energy to try to keep eye contact. It's hard to do eye contact right, because you're also not supposed to just stare into their eyes. When talking with women this is compounded even further by another factor, boobs, especially if they dress slu*ty.

So when talking with women I not only have to keep track of eye contact I also have to make sure not to look down. I'm rather tall as well, which makes this even worse because I pretty much always have to look down just to get eye contact. In general guys are taller than girls so this problem is frequently compounded. Using all that energy on posture, eye contact, avoiding staring at the knockers, etc. my mind then won't be ready to focus on what to talk about and bam, short awkward conversation. If you have nonverbal body language issues talking to women is a f***ing nightmare, talking to anyone isn't easy but it would make sense that women are usually the harder sex to talk to for an AS guy.

Well what about her made you want to get to know her? It does help in having conversation if you know something more about a person than liking their boobies.
If there is something besides appearance that yo find interesting about someone, that is a decent place to start conversation.

Let's say for the sake of argument I was attracted to something about her besides her appearance,what next? The setting [a cold approach in a grocery store] was a terrible place for someone who is socially awkward.