How do you determine if you are physically attractive?

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(I'm a man). I have a pectus excavatum, a funnel chest, that is quite important, and I'm very skinny (I weight about 52 kg for 1m78-79 maybe - I precise it is my normal build, not because I would have eating problems or so). It's kind of a little psychological problem for me. There are much more worse deformities, I know, but that one seems to have a strange effect on other people, maybe because the rest of the body seems normal to them and then they see this strange chest and two apparent ribs... It attracts attention, at the swimming pool, at the beach, for example. As if it had not been enough to be quite strange and weird only mentally...
To sum it up I can't at all be confident about that whole part of my body, and there is no possible way for me to change it ; I can't imagine an operation, and the tiny bit of sport I'm able or willing to do will not make it any better (my dad had a much less important version of the pectus excavatum, and he practiced running for a long time, which made it less apparent, but mine is of a different kind).
The rest of my body is pretty usual for a skinny man I think. But I don't like my nose (a bit too great to my liking) and my side face. I don't really look my age, also.
The truth is that I don't know at all if a girl has ever found me attractive, or has been "interested" in me. Not that I really care - I'm asexual and probably aromantic, but maybe knowing it could give me some more assurance or self esteem, in a way, because my physical has always kind of made me feel "inferior" to other men (add to that the fact that my differences with normality and my number of peculiarities has also made me feel inferior or to much remote to other humans, and you've got the idea). I get some curiosity about it sometimes, which is strange, but I'm a curious guy, so... It is so much socially and culturally established we have to think this is an important matter even I seem to take an interest in it... Or maybe it's a problem a la Socrates, because in a certain way the common doxa is still that it's better to be beautiful/attractive and good than only good, as it was in ancient Greece (καλὸς κἀγαθός ; happily enough some philosophers changed the meaning of the sentence so that the "beauty" part would be less restrictive and include what we call "internal beauty", but I don't know if it ever prevailed over the more common conception)... I don't know.
(Note : the problem is that I don't know either how women judge me in other ways. I'm utterly clueless, I must say. Which is a problem with friendship and "relationship" [but with me it cannot be the traditional one, and there are not really possibilities I'll ever get into a relationship I would be fine with - I don't seek it actively, even though I would not say no if it happened to me].).

I have funnel chest as well. I know how it feels to be very reluctant to take off my shirt, especially when ladies are present. Of course, I'm pale as a tuna, so when I go to the beach I can tell people I need to protect myself from skin cancer.

The other problem with funnel chest is that it lowers lung capacity. I was told by a chest surgeon when I was a teen that my lung capacity was about 15% less than other boys my age, which really impacted my stamina. I run now, but I'm sure it still has an effect.

What's your reason?

You don't. Why would you ?

"Pokes" on Facebook?

LOL all of us!

"fun"

Stop it you two, my stomach muscles can only take so much before lunch!

^^^

well it's true according to one aspie women here after (in point form) I illustrated what (by NT definition) constitutes fun she accused me of being a charmer , and she than went on to say "she does not like to hang out with autistics as we never want to do what normal people enjoy."

If autistics don't like hanging out with us who does ?

Myself I nearly always wear myself, when possible, in ways that permit me to "hide" my pectus excavatum or my thinness. Nearly always long-sleeved dress shirt, with a pull-over except when the weather is hot of course. I don't like to wear T-shirts except when I'm at home or in places like the beach.
I remember that in sport class one girl actually touched my chest and was surprised and a little frightened by it ! Although, I don't have a specific problem with girls in this matter, which is logical ; it's with everybody.



I went at the hospital to see a specialist one day, so as to be sure (I wondered if operation was an option, too, even though I knew I wasn't really going in that direction - the procedure is much less invasive today, but it requires weeks of invalidity and hard work, and for that I have no courage). He told me that according to him I had no problem with lungs or with the heart, but I think that there is still maybe a bit of compression in my case : even though I have no real problem, I have always felt as if there was not much room in that part of my organism, if you see what I mean.
What's odd is that on forums about pectus excavatum I've seen men that had a tiny one, sometimes not even very different from normality, and who were of a normal weight and build, who agreed to an operation. Maybe it's only the psychological effect... But frankly, it seems from the outside not as hard a problem as with people like me, who have it and who are very skinny at the same time.

Question to all : what do you think about someone who has a funnel chest (of at least a relative intensity) in terms of beauty and attractiveness ? I'm curious.

i dont know. im just not attracted to them. I find that for me attraction has always been rather spontaneous. I dont have a specific type, or things i look for, etc. Ill just glance and either she is or isnt attractive.

in the shower at the health club, when i was younger, there was another man showering next to me, who became tumescent when he looked at me. so i guess that at least to that person i must've been attractive in a base sense.

I get far more looks when I wear dresses or skirts rather than trousers, and when I wear my hair down with a nice hairstyle in the first place. That's something Wolfheart does - he has very nice long hair. Hair is like a frame to the face. I realise not all men can get away with long hair though. Styled hair can be just as effective.

Not enough men dress nicely, or have nice hair. It would increase your chances greatly if you bought just a few nice sets of clothes rather than lots of cheap band t-shirts. You need to stand out. The guys I like usually have something like this, or nice hair, that makes them stand out.

Kjas, I'm not sure if I read your post wrong, but I don't think you need to be exceptionally attractive to get complimented like that.

Must resist the urge to send one now...
Such a great answer mv

Bwah! I was joking... Still, it's extraordinary how many people will send "pokes" when intoxicated.

Im well aware that you were joking and it was a great joke which is why I said that its such a great answer