to men who lost their virginity

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Theres your problem

Well, I can't do a damn thing about my body language. It is what it is, kid. Gonna have to figure out a way to make up for being socially clumsy and visible strange.


WTF was *wrong* with my first gf for not being bothered by it whatsoever?

Nothing was wrong with her. It is just the simple fact that attraction works in mysterious ways.

This sounds quite ironic what you say because aggressive men get all the beautiful women while cowardly men often get none.

I think that the more powerful a man is either physically or socially the more likely he is to land an beautiful lady in bed.

I think that women are sort of attracted to men with superhuman qualities, sort of like Cyborgs. This would explain why men who are gifted athletes or strong weight-lifters and possess incredible energy and strength can get all the beautiful ladies.

Funny enough, a lot of women I talk to really aren't impressed by men with big muscles as much as they are impressed by men with social finesse. Aggressive men who are also extroverted and suave are the ones who get all the beautiful women.

For some reason, the combination of introversion with an aggressive temperament in a man sounds warning bells in wimminz brains. That's the kind of guy they think of as being a serial killer.




BTW aspiemike, I was being sarcastic and ironic when I asked what was "wrong" with her. Obviously something was right with her. I wish I could find another girl like that someday(SOON!).

oh wow... you honestly believe that???! !??

Dude, you have no idea.

I just married my aspie husband a week ago and we had sex (his first time) and it was wonderful knowing that he wasn't comparing me to any woman before me.

Women love virgins! It's a massive compliment knowing that a guy has chosen to share his first time with you.

I have only read half the posts in this thread and I honestly want to kick some of you. Firstly - if sex matters so much to you, ANYONE can get laid. Just go to a nightclub - all you need to do is find a drunk girl, say a few nice things to her, and she'll go home with you. She won't care if you're a virgin, she won't care if you have little experience (or lots), she won't care if you're hot or if you're butt ugly, she won't care if you're rich, average or unemployed, she won't care what size you are down there - nightclubs are full of desperate girls who will have sex with anyone when they are drunk.

If it's only sex you want - go to a nightclub and pick up a desperate girl or pick up a hooker - but nightclub girls are cheaper.

But seriously, I can tell you now, for some of your, the problem is YOU. It's not because you're shy and awkward or because you have aspergers. I love that my husband is shy and we're both happily awkward together. Many women love the shy quiet type. And nor is it aspergers. I am married to a wonderful man with aspergers - even when he drives me insane, I still love him totally. And my sister has been dating a great guy with aspergers on and off for a decade.

It's because they are nice guys who treat women with respect. Of course, the aspergers does come into it - one of the times my sister broke up with her boyfriend was because he said to her "I think I can do better than you". It was his honest thought, but he knows now you don't say that to a girl even if you think it. Note: never EVER tell a girlfriend/wife/partner/potential girlfriend that you can do better than you.

Some of you just need to take responsibility for what you do have control over in your life - a lot of you sound like jerks - no wonder women won't date you!

Lose the desperation for sex. There is nothing that scares a woman away more.

And don't blame your desire for sex or lack of ability to get sex on your aspergers. Everyone is individual and everyone is different. I came on this forum because my aspie is the total opposite - he only wants to have sex occasionally and it's driving me absolutely crazy. But you don't see me obsessing about it like some of you. I'm here to do something practical - looking for advice on how to make him more horny.

I think some of you need to do something about horniness - and I don't mean have sex. I mean learn to think about other things!

Treat women like equals not like sex objects and then you will find they might actually want to have sex with you.

Pro-tip: Don't tell women you're a virgin. Or if you must lose your virginity by any means necessary then try craigslist or get an escort(but not a street hooker).

Wow dude, you have no idea. If you're a woman who doesn't sleep with a guy within the first 3 dates, it's nearly impossible to get a date, even more impossible to get a relationship.

Guys don't have to do anything special to get a girl - just be nice to her. Girls have to agree to sex or guys don't want to know them.

Seriously mate, the problem isn't your virginity or lack of experience. The problem is you're a liar.

When I met my aspie husband 3 years and two months ago, I love the fact that he was a virgin and had saved himself (and seriously ANYONE can get sex if they want to).

And while it can be awkward at times, I love being his first girlfriend. It can be difficult at times teaching him what it means to be in a relationship, especially since I don't have much to compare to - my first husband was my only serious relationship before my aspie (second) husband and I only had two short term boyfriends before my first husband when i was in high school (I started dating my first husband a few weeks after finishing high school).

Girls are not at all put off by guys who have no sexual experience or even those who have no relationship experience.

You know what? I'm sure most of the reason girls are rejecting you is precisely because of your lies. Girls can tell you are lying about your sexual history, but they can't tell why you are lying and will assume that your lying means you have slept with lots and lots of women and they find it distasteful - girls hates liars and they hate guys who have slept around a lot. They can tell you are lying and think you are a player (slept with lots of girls).

Stop lying - any girl who looks down on you for lack of experience isn't worth dating anyway.

Wow, I'd say it was your mum that settled. Women don't like men who acts like jerks - which is exactly what your dad was/is doing. The very fact that anyone thinks he "settled" for your mum shows that he is a jerk.

And the fact that you think your dad just settled for your mum shows you're a jerk too.

Do something about your attitude towards women and you might have more success. Either that, or you'll find someone just as shallow as you and live happily every after.

Yah, I couldn't agree more. Its very very very true, and I hope wtfid2 realizes this. I carried a similar attitude around with me and was afraid of intimacy, but when I dropped this attitude, I started having success with girls. I enjoyed cuddling and holding hands more than sex and tonguing though. In fact it kind of grossed me out a little. I don't really masturbate much either come to think of it. I go months without it, where some people say they do it daily. I think I'm asexual.

Thanks for this. I know I wouldn't be put of by a guy who's inexperienced or a virgin, but I'm never sure whether that means much as I'm so unlike other women in many ways. I'm sure some girls place some value on sexual experience, but I'm pretty certain that's not universal - and very unlikely to be a deal breaker if a girl really cares about a guy (or just really wants to sleep with him!).

I'd be far more concerned about a guy who'd used a prostitute. There's all sort of moral issues that come up there, not to mention health risks and the general question of the character of a man who would do this. Again, not necessarily a deal breaker, but a far bigger barrier than lack of experience, and I want to know a guy had changed -radically - from the mindset he was in when he sought out a prostitute. And this time I'm even more certain many, many women would share my concerns.

What are you, nuts? Did you not read my post? You're just gonna straight up call me a jerk? And this is without even knowing the FULL story?

Get some reading comprehension. My dad ended up marrying (unbeknownst to him at the time) a drug dealer who STOLE 'SCRIPS FROM THE HOSPITAL that she worked at and then when my dad found out, she slapped him with a divorce, and on top of that made up all this crazy stuff about HIM selling drugs, and caused him to lose custody of his son (for the record, the only charges my dad actually had were parking tickets and one DUI, after which he stopped drinking for a long time). Now my dad actually somewhat loved her, but it threw him for a loop when he discovered she was a drug dealer and just an overall sh***y person to be around. But my dad is a jerk for knowing that woman for years and years and then discovering what a horrible woman she was after she put on such a front? What a terrible thing to say!

My mom, who he married years later, was kind of the same way. Only replace drugs with alcohol. He knew her for about two years before he married her, and there was no sign of craziness until she got pregnant with me. She was a pretty reprehensible person as I was growing up. Used to beat me daily over stupid things, leave safety hazards all over the house (I have a 7 inch long scar from where my drunken mom left an iron sitting there and I tipped it over onto my leg!), and accuse my dad of cheating all the time. But guess what? My dad couldn't do anything about it, or so he thought. All he could do was transfer to a different construction company that gave him different hours. He did this to protect me. He tried going to court about this but they laughed at him. He went multiple times. Once I got to be about 13 years old it stopped being such a problem. Mainly because puberty kicked in and I didn't have to take her crap anymore.

My dad may not have been perfect, but he deserved a lot better when he was alive. To insult my (now deceased) dad and even me by calling us jerks without knowing the full goddamn story is just as reprehensible as my mom's actions towards us for the first half of my life.

By the way, I deserve an apology, and so does my dad. On what earth do you think you can come in here, insult someone you don't even know, have the nerve to say that my dad DIDN'T settle on someone and then tell me I should have to settle on someone? Does that sound right to you? No wonder your husband doesn't seem to love you that much.

Last edited by DialAForAwesome on 09 Nov 2012, 2:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Stop talking sh*t about somebody because of their family troubles; and particularly about their relatives. A lot of women really
are attracted to men who act like jerks and treat women badly. I am not justifying mistreatment of others, but relationships are an area of life where people act on their emotions and disregard reason.

Funny thing is, AspieRogue, she had it BACKWARDS. My mom was the terrible one in the relationship, and so was his previous wife. My dad was a goddamned saint and hero for putting up with that crap. What's worse is he lost a lot of respect from the family for supposedly "not wanting to see his son" when he spent 45 years looking for the guy! Even my mom, as vile as she is a lot of the time, noted that he spent all that time looking for him for nothing; we finally tracked him down and he said "dad never tried to find me or make an effort to contact me (which was BS!) and basically I want no part of him. Screw him!" and then hung up the phone. We never told Dad about that as he was on his death bed when it happened anyway.

It's not like I said "all women" are like that. Just a lot of the ones in my family and probably a bunch of them outside of the family too. Like I said before, every man in my family pretty much had to settle, when if they had better luck, they could have done better. I imagine if I'd said the opposite, about the WOMEN being able to do better, she'd never have batted an eyelash at that statement.

I'm not sure where the hell you guys got the thought that my dad was mistreating my mom, it was the other way around. Even when he had cancer she pushed him around and cried like a spoiled child when she didn't get her way. She even hit him upside the head when he was at the hospital and refused to eat because his cancer had gotten worse! But nobody did anything about it! I took my mom home and the next day he died. I'm glad he's in heaven now. He doesn't have to put up with all that s**t anymore.

the fact that you tell him to pick up a girl at a night club shows you have no understanding of what we go through.none of us can get girls what o yu not understand?