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creepy guys have such confidence

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Lilya
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25 Nov 2012, 3:35 pm

BlueMax wrote:
blue_bean wrote:
But when BlueMax posted it it was to make women look like worser people. Not balancing at all.


No - that's how you took it because you didn't like it. Have I ever given the impression men should be in control and women should be making sandwiches? Never. Not once. I don't know why you keep seeing me as some sort of enemy - I'd be the first to defend your rights if they were being violated! Why is it so bad that I'm offended when MY rights are violated when feminism goes too far and things are taken from me?

I'm getting very frustrated having to fight back from the totally unwarranted accusations from many women in my life... I mean the statistics show that taking children away from their fathers does terrible, terrible things to them - so why does family law do this by default?

I sat in a courthouse workroom with a court-appointed Dispute Resolution Officer, my ex-wife and her female lawyer and all three of them laughed to man-jokes at my expense in front of me! Would you call that "equality"? If the roles were reversed and a woman was being laughed at IN COURT by an all-male crowd, would you be more offended?

I try to make sure that some people who go over the line remember that it hurts people when they do.

And interesting that someone fighting for rights simply says to "man up" when my rights are taken away.


I'm completely on your side on this one. Repression on either sex is unacceptable. I'm sorry for your experiences both here and IRL.


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wtfid2
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25 Nov 2012, 3:55 pm

BlueMax wrote:
^^^ You make a good point... My intent when bringing up my past and current situations isn't to "whine" about it, but share with people what really happens out there. I'm surprised how many people deny what really happens in the world... like people who don't believe bullying really exists or is worth worrying about. :?

... It would appear that the way I'm phrasing things comes across as whiny and I know how irritating that can be. Since it's not helping make my point anyway, I won't go into it unless prompted. Thanks for pointing it out in a good way. ;)
we have ea right o be angry about the double standards between genders. my mom divorced my dad and took around 1 million dollars from him. He also had to buy her a house, and had to pay expensive custody lawyers to get custody of me..while my dumb Sister is living with my mom. She also stole 500 dollars from me and is still trash to this day. I sometimes try to pretend i want to see her to get a free meal out of her but she usually sees through it.


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mds_02
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25 Nov 2012, 4:24 pm

BlueMax wrote:
^^^ You make a good point... My intent when bringing up my past and current situations isn't to "whine" about it, but share with people what really happens out there. I'm surprised how many people deny what really happens in the world... like people who don't believe bullying really exists or is worth worrying about. :?

... It would appear that the way I'm phrasing things comes across as whiny and I know how irritating that can be. Since it's not helping make my point anyway, I won't go into it unless prompted. Thanks for pointing it out in a good way. ;)


It's tricky. You're just trying to show that it's not as simple as "things suck for women, and men are all evil pigs" and it's taken as proof of you hating women, despite never having shown any disrespect here.

I was tempted to share some of my experiences with the subject, just to illustrate that yours are not unique. But I'm pretty sure I'll be lumped in with the "sh***y misogynist" faction if I do (hell, I'm pretty sure a few here will think of me that way anyway, just for saying "it's not all men's fault").

Anyway, some of us are capable of judging you based on the pleasant personality you've consistently shown, rather than willfully misinterpreting a few of your posts.

Also, to those going on and on about men bringing their own issues into every discussion, take a look at your own actions for once. Take some goddamn responsibility for the ways you are contributing to spread of ill-will around here. Cause the men here are sure as hell not the only ones who can't seem to check their personal BS at the door.



ComradeKael
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25 Nov 2012, 4:27 pm

mds_02 wrote:
BlueMax wrote:
^^^ You make a good point... My intent when bringing up my past and current situations isn't to "whine" about it, but share with people what really happens out there. I'm surprised how many people deny what really happens in the world... like people who don't believe bullying really exists or is worth worrying about. :?

... It would appear that the way I'm phrasing things comes across as whiny and I know how irritating that can be. Since it's not helping make my point anyway, I won't go into it unless prompted. Thanks for pointing it out in a good way. ;)


It's tricky. You're just trying to show that it's not as simple as "things suck for women, and men are all evil pigs" and it's taken as proof of you hating women, despite never having shown any disrespect here.

I was tempted to share some of my experiences with the subject, just to illustrate that yours are not unique. But I'm pretty sure I'll be lumped in with the "sh***y misogynist" faction if I do.

Anyway, some of us are capable of judging you based on the pleasant personality you've consistently shown, rather than willfully misinterpreting a few of your posts.

Also, to those going on and on about men bringing their own issues into every discussion, take a look at your own actions for once. Take some goddamn responsibility for the ways you are contributing to spread of ill-will around here. Cause the men here are sure as hell not the only ones who can't seem to check their personal BS at the door.


The issue isn't that men have had poor experiences with women. That does happen. The issue arises when men scream at the top of their lungs, "MY RIGHTS ARE BEING TAKEN AWAY! EVIL WOMEN!"



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25 Nov 2012, 4:32 pm

Surfman wrote:
heres something quite creepy

Here's a quick quiz. You are a child. Who is most likely to kill you. Your mum? Your dad? Stepdad?

Police have the answer after analysing family violence deaths over the past seven years. The answer is clear.

It's your mum. By a long margin.

You are more than twice as likely to be killed by your mum than your stepdad. Mum is five times more likely to kill than dad......

continued http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/artic ... d=10849715

if you are a pregnant woman, who is most likely to kill you? abuse you? hmmmmm.


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hyperlexian
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25 Nov 2012, 4:39 pm

for anyone interested, in canada the custodial arrangements after separation are intended to continue in proportion to the arrangements prior to the separation. so if one parent was a stay-at-home parent, they will be the primary custodial parent after separation (the other parent will have visitation rights by default). if both parents worked full-time, they will have shared custody after separation. there are differences when allegations of abuse, neglect, etc occur. but the onus is on the other parent and the legal system to prove it.


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mds_02
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25 Nov 2012, 4:44 pm

ComradeKael wrote:
The issue isn't that men have had poor experiences with women. That does happen. The issue arises when men scream at the top of their lungs, "MY RIGHTS ARE BEING TAKEN AWAY! EVIL WOMEN!"


And you don't think his right to have his children in his life is a right worth protecting? Or one worth complaining about when it's taken away?

Seriously folks, think about this for a minute. Men are having their children taken from their lives simply because they are men. The family courts side with the woman almost every time, just because she is a woman. blue has seen it in his life. I've seen it in mine (there's a little boy out there who is probably mine and I need the cheating b***h's permission, which she refuses to give, for a paternity test because she wrote some other as*holes name on the birth certificate) and my father's (fought for over a decade to get custody of my sister, despite her mother being clearly abusive). And countless other men have seen it as well.

How would you react if your children were taken from you?



Last edited by mds_02 on 25 Nov 2012, 5:19 pm, edited 4 times in total.

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25 Nov 2012, 4:49 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
Surfman wrote:
heres something quite creepy

Here's a quick quiz. You are a child. Who is most likely to kill you. Your mum? Your dad? Stepdad?

Police have the answer after analysing family violence deaths over the past seven years. The answer is clear.

It's your mum. By a long margin.

You are more than twice as likely to be killed by your mum than your stepdad. Mum is five times more likely to kill than dad......

continued http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/artic ... d=10849715

if you are a pregnant woman, who is most likely to kill you? abuse you? hmmmmm.


I think we all already realize that. The point was that it's not just men who do awful things. I know you already realize that, but there are a lot of people who don't seem to.

hyperlexian wrote:
for anyone interested, in canada the custodial arrangements after separation are intended to continue in proportion to the arrangements prior to the separation. so if one parent was a stay-at-home parent, they will be the primary custodial parent after separation (the other parent will have visitation rights by default). if both parents worked full-time, they will have shared custody after separation. there are differences when allegations of abuse, neglect, etc occur. but the onus is on the other parent and the legal system to prove it.


I only wish it were so fair here in the states.



BlueMax
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25 Nov 2012, 5:03 pm

mds_02 wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
for anyone interested, in canada the custodial arrangements after separation are intended to continue in proportion to the arrangements prior to the separation. so if one parent was a stay-at-home parent, they will be the primary custodial parent after separation (the other parent will have visitation rights by default). if both parents worked full-time, they will have shared custody after separation. there are differences when allegations of abuse, neglect, etc occur. but the onus is on the other parent and the legal system to prove it.


I only wish it were so fair here in the states.


Ironically, I AM in Canada and this was their reasoning for giving the kids to my ex. She never worked so they wanted to kids to stay with the parent they spent the most time with. Reasonable enough... except they didn't care very much about her preventing access to see them on a regular basis. The Family Law system here in Canada is little better than that of the USA.

On a more positive note, now that she's stopped following the temporary guidelines set BY the court, they might see me more favourably since I've followed every guideline, taken every course and paid every penny (and then some!) If I can manage to get my case back before the courts, they should see I've done my part - and she hasn't - and that may change things drastically!



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25 Nov 2012, 5:06 pm

BlueMax wrote:
mds_02 wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
for anyone interested, in canada the custodial arrangements after separation are intended to continue in proportion to the arrangements prior to the separation. so if one parent was a stay-at-home parent, they will be the primary custodial parent after separation (the other parent will have visitation rights by default). if both parents worked full-time, they will have shared custody after separation. there are differences when allegations of abuse, neglect, etc occur. but the onus is on the other parent and the legal system to prove it.


I only wish it were so fair here in the states.


Ironically, I AM in Canada and this was their reasoning for giving the kids to my ex. She never worked so they wanted to kids to stay with the parent they spent the most time with. Reasonable enough... except they didn't care very much about her preventing access to see them on a regular basis. The Family Law system here in Canada is little better than that of the USA.

On a more positive note, now that she's stopped following the temporary guidelines set BY the court, they might see me more favourably since I've followed every guideline, taken every course and paid every penny (and then some!) If I can manage to get my case back before the courts, they should see I've done my part - and she hasn't - and that may change things drastically!


Whoops, after reading about the difficulty you've been having, I just kinda automatically associated it with the sh***y American courts.



BlueMax
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25 Nov 2012, 5:19 pm

mds_02 wrote:
Whoops, after reading about the difficulty you've been having, I just kinda automatically associated it with the sh***y American courts.

It's probably not AS bad as the USA... but it's not great.



DialAForAwesome
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25 Nov 2012, 5:33 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
if you are a pregnant woman, who is most likely to kill you? abuse you? hmmmmm.


If I had to guess, based on everything I've seen in my 24 years, the father of the baby the woman is carrying. But that is why I never join these types of debates-- stats are skewed depending on the type of person and what situation the person is in.

hyperlexian wrote:
for anyone interested, in canada the custodial arrangements after separation are intended to continue in proportion to the arrangements prior to the separation. so if one parent was a stay-at-home parent, they will be the primary custodial parent after separation (the other parent will have visitation rights by default). if both parents worked full-time, they will have shared custody after separation. there are differences when allegations of abuse, neglect, etc occur. but the onus is on the other parent and the legal system to prove it.


Oh crrrrrud. I forgot Max is in Canada. But from what I was reading after this, Canada's laws are no better than the USA's! They need to seriously overhaul the child custody system. Seriously. Do more investigation into both parents or something. The fact that people can get away with shenanigans like what my dad's ex-wife did is nuts. And it has the added "benefit" of totally souring the kids on the other parent if enough time passes (which I dearly hope NEVER happens to Max; it happened to my dad and the results were disastrous).


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26 Nov 2012, 12:37 am

Screw the system, so much just aint right.
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26 Nov 2012, 12:45 am

heres a thought experiment on this subject.

Are the creepy guys inherently confident, or is their confidence what makes them creepy?


Meaning, do the creepy guys just use some sort of confidence to stroll through, or is their creepyness associated with a negative side of confidence.





And thats all before we get to what is creepy and what isnt as compared to who does it.



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26 Nov 2012, 1:02 am

wtfid2 wrote:
BlueMax wrote:
^^^ You make a good point... My intent when bringing up my past and current situations isn't to "whine" about it, but share with people what really happens out there. I'm surprised how many people deny what really happens in the world... like people who don't believe bullying really exists or is worth worrying about. :?

... It would appear that the way I'm phrasing things comes across as whiny and I know how irritating that can be. Since it's not helping make my point anyway, I won't go into it unless prompted. Thanks for pointing it out in a good way. ;)
we have ea right o be angry about the double standards between genders. my mom divorced my dad and took around 1 million dollars from him. He also had to buy her a house, and had to pay expensive custody lawyers to get custody of me..while my dumb Sister is living with my mom. She also stole 500 dollars from me and is still trash to this day. I sometimes try to pretend i want to see her to get a free meal out of her but she usually sees through it.

I'm really glad that, when my parents got divorced, neither side fed me lies about the other side to make me hate them.
A lot of people use the kids to get revenge at their spouses, and the kids swallow the lies hook, line, and sinker.



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26 Nov 2012, 1:05 am

BlueMax wrote:
mds_02 wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
for anyone interested, in canada the custodial arrangements after separation are intended to continue in proportion to the arrangements prior to the separation. so if one parent was a stay-at-home parent, they will be the primary custodial parent after separation (the other parent will have visitation rights by default). if both parents worked full-time, they will have shared custody after separation. there are differences when allegations of abuse, neglect, etc occur. but the onus is on the other parent and the legal system to prove it.


I only wish it were so fair here in the states.


Ironically, I AM in Canada and this was their reasoning for giving the kids to my ex. She never worked so they wanted to kids to stay with the parent they spent the most time with. Reasonable enough... except they didn't care very much about her preventing access to see them on a regular basis. The Family Law system here in Canada is little better than that of the USA.

On a more positive note, now that she's stopped following the temporary guidelines set BY the court, they might see me more favourably since I've followed every guideline, taken every course and paid every penny (and then some!) If I can manage to get my case back before the courts, they should see I've done my part - and she hasn't - and that may change things drastically!

Those evil feminists.
(/sarcasm)