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NT women cant stand aspie men!

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hyperlexian
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28 Jan 2013, 8:19 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
That because the 1man-1women marriage concept enforces the women, who couldn't get an alpha, to pick from the other classes.

But if a society has no concept of 1-1 committed relationship, I bet women would go only for the hottest and best men. Hmm, even the ancient greeks realized that (amazon women legends).

We can observe that among males in pubs seeking for one night stands, only the hottest of them get most of the one-time sex deals.

no, because many women don't like the personality type described as the "alpha" so they intentionally do NOT pick them. many women don't want those men. so it's not that they are "settling", any more than men are "settling" just because they don't want a stereotypical type of woman. there is room for all kinds in the world, and it is a mistake to project your own tastes or types onto the masses.

i am not talking about PUA and sex, i am talking about relationships.


Maybe you didn't read my other post in the other thread about alphas, I've categorized the alpha men in 4: The knights, the kings, the wizards and the bards.

Not all alphas have the same personality type but they're simply the highest quality men (and best combo of genes).

Michel Phelps is an alpha
Donald trump is an alpha.
Johnny depp is an alpha.
The non-famous brilliant scientist who's finding new cures is an alpha (but many women in his field or workplace would fancy him).

They certainly don't share the same personality traits.

you are changing the whole definition, which is interesting but renders the discussion sort of pointless. why not just call all men alphas? i like that idea. everyone's a winner!


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28 Jan 2013, 8:20 am

hyperlexian wrote:
Shau wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
Shau wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
Shau wrote:
That's some weird logic there, Ms. Hyperlexian. Those betas and omegas don't exactly get the finest of women. If you want higher tier women, those classes most definitely matter.

ahhh, so that is the point. you think you deserve your pick of women. that explains everything.


I want precisely what I'm worth. However, that becomes a hell of a lot more difficult when you have to turn your personality inside-out in order to conform to the standards of NT women.

what are you worth? and how do you know what you are worth?


I'm worth a BSc, noted poetic and writing skills, a body excellently toned and taken care of, and the hard work necessary to gain all of the previous. And apparently decent-looking. In order to get the equivalent woman is a hell of a lot of work, after already doing a hell of a lot of work to get what I have myself.

Then I get to see people like my female post grad friend (working on a masters in science) and my sister (also a bit of a geek as I've mentioned before) just completely be themselves and have decent-quality men come chasing after THEM. Between the sheer work I've gotta do to maintain a false personality just to keep people around and grab a nice woman that puts as much effort into life as I do makes me seriously envious of all the geeky girls. I'd honestly love to just "be myself" or be even 80% of it and still be considered desirable.

i wasn't asking for a cv. i was asking how you could possibly *know* what you are worth? i am actually thinking that you don't have a clear idea, because apparently you think women want one thing and actually they want another. so if you think worth is measured like that, you are probably wrong.

here's the thing. you (and many others here) have some seriously misanthropic ideas underlying your view of the world. there is no way we are going to agree, but ultimately... how is that going for you?



and you Mrs. live in a bubble of idealism, away from reality, you even admitted that you think that only 1% of humans can be narcissistic and abusive.

You give humans too much credits.



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28 Jan 2013, 8:22 am

hyperlexian wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
That because the 1man-1women marriage concept enforces the women, who couldn't get an alpha, to pick from the other classes.

But if a society has no concept of 1-1 committed relationship, I bet women would go only for the hottest and best men. Hmm, even the ancient greeks realized that (amazon women legends).

We can observe that among males in pubs seeking for one night stands, only the hottest of them get most of the one-time sex deals.

no, because many women don't like the personality type described as the "alpha" so they intentionally do NOT pick them. many women don't want those men. so it's not that they are "settling", any more than men are "settling" just because they don't want a stereotypical type of woman. there is room for all kinds in the world, and it is a mistake to project your own tastes or types onto the masses.

i am not talking about PUA and sex, i am talking about relationships.


Maybe you didn't read my other post in the other thread about alphas, I've categorized the alpha men in 4: The knights, the kings, the wizards and the bards.

Not all alphas have the same personality type but they're simply the highest quality men (and best combo of genes).

Michel Phelps is an alpha
Donald trump is an alpha.
Johnny depp is an alpha.
The non-famous brilliant scientist who's finding new cures is an alpha (but many women in his field or workplace would fancy him).

They certainly don't share the same personality traits.

you are changing the whole definition, which is interesting but renders the discussion sort of pointless. why not just call all men alphas? i like that idea. everyone's a winner!


if we take the Wizards (the intellects) category for example, the senior scientist with an IQ 150 who's making great achievements is considered an alpha, while the lab assistant is not.

So as you see, not all men can be alphas.

You're just focusing on the PUA's definition of alpha, which is narrow.



hyperlexian
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28 Jan 2013, 8:24 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
Shau wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
Shau wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
Shau wrote:
That's some weird logic there, Ms. Hyperlexian. Those betas and omegas don't exactly get the finest of women. If you want higher tier women, those classes most definitely matter.

ahhh, so that is the point. you think you deserve your pick of women. that explains everything.


I want precisely what I'm worth. However, that becomes a hell of a lot more difficult when you have to turn your personality inside-out in order to conform to the standards of NT women.

what are you worth? and how do you know what you are worth?


I'm worth a BSc, noted poetic and writing skills, a body excellently toned and taken care of, and the hard work necessary to gain all of the previous. And apparently decent-looking. In order to get the equivalent woman is a hell of a lot of work, after already doing a hell of a lot of work to get what I have myself.

Then I get to see people like my female post grad friend (working on a masters in science) and my sister (also a bit of a geek as I've mentioned before) just completely be themselves and have decent-quality men come chasing after THEM. Between the sheer work I've gotta do to maintain a false personality just to keep people around and grab a nice woman that puts as much effort into life as I do makes me seriously envious of all the geeky girls. I'd honestly love to just "be myself" or be even 80% of it and still be considered desirable.

i wasn't asking for a cv. i was asking how you could possibly *know* what you are worth? i am actually thinking that you don't have a clear idea, because apparently you think women want one thing and actually they want another. so if you think worth is measured like that, you are probably wrong.

here's the thing. you (and many others here) have some seriously misanthropic ideas underlying your view of the world. there is no way we are going to agree, but ultimately... how is that going for you?



and you Mrs. live in a bubble of idealism, away from reality, you even admitted that you think that only 1% of humans can be narcissistic and abusive.

You give humans too much credits.

you never did give me an estimate of what percent you thought it could be. i noticed that you evaded giving an actual percentage because it would open you to debate. so you were oh-so-certain i was wrong but scared to put your own estimate on the line.

so what is the correct percentage?


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hyperlexian
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28 Jan 2013, 8:28 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
if we take the Wizards (the intellects) category for example, the senior scientist with an IQ 150 who's making great achievements is considered an alpha, while the lab assistant is not.

So as you see, not all men can be alphas.

You're just focusing on the PUA's definition of alpha, which is narrow.

sure they could be. he could be the best lab assistant ever, who leads by example. the indispensable technician who gets it right every time and rises to the top of his profession. he could be well-liked and creative on the job. no problem with an alpha lab tech.


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28 Jan 2013, 8:31 am

hyperlexian wrote:
i wasn't asking for a cv. i was asking how you could possibly *know* what you are worth?


Am I going to have to go into a long epistemological diatribe here? I'd really rather not go beyond the simple realization that there are characteristics a person can have that most of the world sees as valuable.

Quote:
i am actually thinking that you don't have a clear idea, because apparently you think women want one thing and actually they want another. so if you think worth is measured like that, you are probably wrong.


It's not hard to break down the qualities a man can have that women are going to see as valuable. Confident, enthralling body language and tone of voice, charisma...those seem to be the biggest things, things that are exceedingly difficult to translate from AS to NT.

Quote:
here's the thing. you (and many others here) have some seriously misanthropic ideas underlying your view of the world.


I see the universe for what it is: Cold and devoid of any inherent meaning. A nihilist, if you would. It is also the increasingly scientifically-supported view of the universe.

Quote:
there is no way we are going to agree, but ultimately... how is that going for you?


An utterly irrelevant question to one that won't simply change their mind about something because it doesn't make them feel as good as another world view does (honestly that's probably how we get brilliant scientists that still believe in God). Given a choice between sticking my head in the sand in order to feel better and facing reality for what it is, I choose the ladder. [edit] It takes a while, but eventually you come to terms with it all....a bit. Doesn't change the fact that you have periods where it weighs on you more heavily than others. Lately, I'm feeling a bit low from it all.



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28 Jan 2013, 8:38 am

I certainly have noticed a correlation between people who are unlucky in love and people who hold contempt for the world around them and think human beings are inherently bad. What a surprise!



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28 Jan 2013, 8:38 am

hyperlexian wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
if we take the Wizards (the intellects) category for example, the senior scientist with an IQ 150 who's making great achievements is considered an alpha, while the lab assistant is not.

So as you see, not all men can be alphas.

You're just focusing on the PUA's definition of alpha, which is narrow.

sure they could be. he could be the best lab assistant ever, who leads by example. the indispensable technician who gets it right every time and rises to the top of his profession. he could be well-liked and creative on the job. no problem with an alpha lab tech.


Yea, but can ALL the other lab techs be the best tech ever?



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28 Jan 2013, 8:40 am

ruckus wrote:
I certainly have noticed a correlation between people who are unlucky in love and people who hold contempt for the world around them and think human beings are inherently bad. What a surprise!


Because those were always lucky do not think deeply about those matters nor they observe others, they're too busy with their lovers.



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28 Jan 2013, 8:41 am

Quote:
Quote:
i am actually thinking that you don't have a clear idea, because apparently you think women want one thing and actually they want another. so if you think worth is measured like that, you are probably wrong.


It's not hard to break down the qualities a man can have that women are going to see as valuable. Confident, enthralling body language and tone of voice, charisma...those seem to be the biggest things, things that are exceedingly difficult to translate from AS to NT.

perhaps that isn't what is turning them off. you are assuming a whole lot about other people, yet the evidence isn't there. it is true that men with AS often have difficulties dating, but that's not the problem you seem to be having. you want to be what you are calling an "alpha" male, because you think you are worth more than an average man, which is something else altogether. that's a problem that has nothing to do with being an aspie.

Quote:
Quote:
here's the thing. you (and many others here) have some seriously misanthropic ideas underlying your view of the world.


I see the universe for what it is: Cold and devoid of any inherent meaning. A nihilist, if you would. It is also the increasingly scientifically-supported view of the universe.

no, you see it how you believe it to be, same as everyone else. that is our confirmation bias. you are no more objective than the rest of us. pessimism and misanthropy don't give you an unclouded view of the world - it's just a different filter.

Quote:
Quote:
there is no way we are going to agree, but ultimately... how is that going for you?


An utterly irrelevant question to one that won't simply change their mind about something because it doesn't make them feel as good as another world view does (honestly that's probably how we get brilliant scientists that still believe in God). Given a choice between sticking my head in the sand in order to feel better and facing reality for what it is, I choose the ladder.

no, your head is stuck in the sand just like everyone else, that is my point. my head is in the sand too, i am not special. but my head doesn't hurt in the hole i have dug, that is the difference.


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28 Jan 2013, 8:43 am

hyperlexian wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
Shau wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
Shau wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
Shau wrote:
That's some weird logic there, Ms. Hyperlexian. Those betas and omegas don't exactly get the finest of women. If you want higher tier women, those classes most definitely matter.

ahhh, so that is the point. you think you deserve your pick of women. that explains everything.


I want precisely what I'm worth. However, that becomes a hell of a lot more difficult when you have to turn your personality inside-out in order to conform to the standards of NT women.

what are you worth? and how do you know what you are worth?


I'm worth a BSc, noted poetic and writing skills, a body excellently toned and taken care of, and the hard work necessary to gain all of the previous. And apparently decent-looking. In order to get the equivalent woman is a hell of a lot of work, after already doing a hell of a lot of work to get what I have myself.

Then I get to see people like my female post grad friend (working on a masters in science) and my sister (also a bit of a geek as I've mentioned before) just completely be themselves and have decent-quality men come chasing after THEM. Between the sheer work I've gotta do to maintain a false personality just to keep people around and grab a nice woman that puts as much effort into life as I do makes me seriously envious of all the geeky girls. I'd honestly love to just "be myself" or be even 80% of it and still be considered desirable.

i wasn't asking for a cv. i was asking how you could possibly *know* what you are worth? i am actually thinking that you don't have a clear idea, because apparently you think women want one thing and actually they want another. so if you think worth is measured like that, you are probably wrong.

here's the thing. you (and many others here) have some seriously misanthropic ideas underlying your view of the world. there is no way we are going to agree, but ultimately... how is that going for you?



and you Mrs. live in a bubble of idealism, away from reality, you even admitted that you think that only 1% of humans can be narcissistic and abusive.

You give humans too much credits.

you never did give me an estimate of what percent you thought it could be. i noticed that you evaded giving an actual percentage because it would open you to debate. so you were oh-so-certain i was wrong but scared to put your own estimate on the line.

so what is the correct percentage?


I can't know but certainly much more than 1%! !



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28 Jan 2013, 8:43 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
ruckus wrote:
I certainly have noticed a correlation between people who are unlucky in love and people who hold contempt for the world around them and think human beings are inherently bad. What a surprise!


Because those were always lucky do not think deeply about those matters nor they observe others, they're too busy with their lovers.

You got me, I've had my head stuck up a vagina this whole time and haven't been able to see the world for what it really is!



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28 Jan 2013, 8:45 am

ruckus wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
ruckus wrote:
I certainly have noticed a correlation between people who are unlucky in love and people who hold contempt for the world around them and think human beings are inherently bad. What a surprise!


Because those were always lucky do not think deeply about those matters nor they observe others, they're too busy with their lovers.

You got me, I've had my head stuck up a vagina this whole time and haven't been able to see the world for what it really is!


Ok you are upset because...?



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28 Jan 2013, 8:48 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
ruckus wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
ruckus wrote:
I certainly have noticed a correlation between people who are unlucky in love and people who hold contempt for the world around them and think human beings are inherently bad. What a surprise!


Because those were always lucky do not think deeply about those matters nor they observe others, they're too busy with their lovers.

You got me, I've had my head stuck up a vagina this whole time and haven't been able to see the world for what it really is!


Ok you are upset because...?

Yikes, tough crowd. I guess that wasn't as much of a zinger as I thought.



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28 Jan 2013, 8:53 am

ruckus wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
ruckus wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
ruckus wrote:
I certainly have noticed a correlation between people who are unlucky in love and people who hold contempt for the world around them and think human beings are inherently bad. What a surprise!


Because those were always lucky do not think deeply about those matters nor they observe others, they're too busy with their lovers.

You got me, I've had my head stuck up a vagina this whole time and haven't been able to see the world for what it really is!


Ok you are upset because...?

Yikes, tough crowd. I guess that wasn't as much of a zinger as I thought.


Whatever makes you sleep better, I am not here to change anyone's view on the world.

No need for the jerk tone.

And the things regarding sexual selection don't make human inherently bad, no one said that.



Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 28 Jan 2013, 8:54 am, edited 1 time in total.

hyperlexian
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28 Jan 2013, 8:54 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
ruckus wrote:
I certainly have noticed a correlation between people who are unlucky in love and people who hold contempt for the world around them and think human beings are inherently bad. What a surprise!


Because those were always lucky do not think deeply about those matters nor they observe others, they're too busy with their lovers.

i AM thinking deeply about this and i DO observe others. i have probably also hundreds if not thousands of hours observing, discussing and researching human interactions in an attempt to assist people on the forum.

but over time, i have also begun to see patterns in behaviour here on the forum. *some* people don't just want to find love, they want to have dozens of sexy people hanging off them. or *some* want to have one specific and unrealistic type of person to date. or *some* don't want to change anything about themselves or their lives. or *some* are actually so bitter and angry that they would be very difficult for anyone to date. or *some* haven't asked anyone out since age 14. or *some* like the idea of a relationship but the reality is just too much. none of this is gender-specific, by the way - i see it with both men and women.

yes, the world of relationships is hard for aspies. but the aspies have to meet the world halfway too. i think that is where many NTs have us beat. they have a flexibility in their thinking that allows them to roll better with their experiences and to adapt. i am starting to think it's not really social skills that are the biggest issue in some cases, it's an inability to make subtle adjustments to be better equipped in future interactions, and an inability to compromise internally.


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