pretending to be in a relationship to look more attractive

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that was one heck of an interesting read, and it kind of fits with how random i feel like my like tends to be a lot of the time, with shifting priorities and chances.

Its not about 'our culture' but worldwide. People do tend to marry within their socioeconomic bracket because that is the 'community' they have the most extensive contact with however you will find the incidence of a woman marrying a poorer husband is much, much lower than one marrying a wealthier husband. It doesn't need to be a jump in socioeconomic status..say low income to the top 1%. Just to one that is better off among her choices. The wider the gap in resources the more the woman tends to overlook the man's faults. It sounds terribly sexist but it is how things are. These attitudes change very slowly and we see a slight change in 1st world women who do have economic independence but they are a very,very small % of the population.



In 1st world countries yes. The majority do not have access to more than basic education nor do they live in an environment/society that enables social mobility through achievement. So we agree on that.

My point is, if a 1st world woman of lower-middle economic income has her choice between three nice guys, one lower economic that her, the other the same as hers, the last being significantly wealthier chances are she will put her efforts into the wealthier one. Its just common sense and human nature.



Those cultures tend to be tribal or small communal cultures like islanders. Where the raising of children is a communal affair and not an individual parent's burden. If you read Mead's 'Coming of Age in Samoa' she covers this aspect beautifully

In those cultures the woman is getting precisely what she needs: resources for her offspring. If the community raises the children that need is fulfilled. By having multiple fathers she is getting what she needs (Buss mentions this particular practice in his study as well if I remember correctly). The male perspective in those cultures is also fulfilled. Community raises the kids & he can impregnate several women? Wonderful. He becomes one of the dads of several women? Chances are one of those kids is his (these practices are vanishing with sex education and knowing you can actually test the child's DNA).

Stepdads: This is a different situation. Its not sexual infidelity but him knowing fully well beforehand the child is not his and accepting the child. Now, if the mother of this stepchild became pregnant and he found she'd been sleeping around it will be quite likely that relationship will be terminated.

this whole thing is not black and white..of course there are many other factors that come into play. However, resources or perceived resources do play a crucial part in the decision making process. A man that is 'taken' by a girl and looks economically stable is an instant 'up' in her 'This one would do!' list... for she sees him as reliable resources and less likely to be unfaithful since he already rejected or informed her that he is taken.

yup, thats really it.. it's how do you prioritize things that you want vs other things.. In all actuality the free pizza is a better snag than a 1$ bill (since you can't buy a pizza for 1$) but the idea that you can only use the pizza coupon at the skating rink vs being able to use that 1$ to go towards your coveted megazord action figure.. totally skews the prioritization. I mean I'd love to say that it's all simply biological impulses.. but I know that's not true. I have friends, male friends, who are not unatractive, never had trouble getting girlfriends, have had REALLY cute/hot girlfriends in the past.. yet.. settle for slightly lower down the scale women as they get older and realize what they really want isn't "Fun" but "Compatability" and "Loyalty"... They'd rather have some one to eat the Free pizza with, than a Megazord to impress all their friends with..

there is very little honesty in general dating
no one says they are lonely
nearly everyone insinuates
they have options in other people

its a herd mentality thing

Yeah, I always get shocked when I see some of my acquaintances who were literally players in their lives (getting really mode-like gfs) end up with a totally average-looking wife. You are entirely correct in your post.

Hell no ; that's too much!

i think its called grouse theory

wow, thanks for the new information! it flips everything around.

np got it from https://www.facebook.com/RichardDawkins ... 7963922280 if you want to watch the discussion...

it also seems to supports the ladder theory

that always made me wonder about the women who say they are only friends with men. are those women more attractive than the rest of us, so they have a harem of male friends crushing out on them, whereas the rest of us don't attract that many? or is the exclusivity of having male friends irrelevant to a woman's attractiveness?

I think you're forgetting the pro-active part of that statement. If they say they only want to be friends with men, then that is what they pursue.

would be interesting to get the perspective of a woman that is considered out of most men's league. Those that never end up going on a date because men size them up as never having a chance at all. I would wonder how many male friends they have.

Also this from the FB-thread

Anyway, I just thought the relevant part was the blurb about attraction to taken men... Maybe someone else can google what they were saying with that as there was no info

yeah, true. but the men would have to be amenable to it, and presumably would be sticking around for the reasons stated in the article. the dynamic wouldn't change just because the women sought out the men as friends.