How can you get a girlfriend if you have aspergers syndrome?

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ProfessorJohn
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27 Apr 2015, 6:08 pm

AspieOtaku wrote:

Ignore them and they will come to you I know it seems weird but it seems to work especially when it comes to NT women

Not always, I ignored them and they pretty much ignored me back. If they are interested in you, but you ignore them, they will pretty quickly get the message that you're not interested so they will find someone else. That probably happened a few times to me. I wasn't really ignoring them on purpose, I just had social anxiety.

kraftiekortie
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27 Apr 2015, 6:15 pm

Professor John: You're a good guy to let Aspies know that it's not all a "lost cause."

Sweetleaf
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27 Apr 2015, 6:18 pm

sly279 wrote:

Sweetleaf wrote:

I would not reject a potential boyfriend for having low self-esteem, hell I know how that is so if anything it might be a point of being able to relate....sure that's not a great thing to celebrate but connecting isn't just about having good things in common, at least to me it wouldn't be. Besides having emotional support actually can help build self esteem, and having a boyfriend or girlfriend ideally should provide emotional support.

well thats the thing though. most nt women never suffer from low self esteem. so they only view it as a horrible thing that one never comes back from.

people who suffered from any disorder or illness will be able to relate to others. but those who haven't won't.and they will never get us.

Either that or if they do suffer from low self esteem you'd never guess it.

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ProfessorJohn
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27 Apr 2015, 6:45 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:

Professor John: You're a good guy to let Aspies know that it's not all a "lost cause."

You would probably be even better, since it sounds like you had a better go of it than I did. Hope your're having a great Monday. So far the only good thing I can say about today is the rest of it has no where to go but up.

kraftiekortie
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27 Apr 2015, 6:53 pm

That's a good way at looking at it.

I haven't had a great two weeks myself. I got laid off from my second job (fortunately, I still have my first).

I think you've turned the corner as to regretting your past. Which is something which you really NEEDED.

You've had a great career path; not many 48-year-olds attain Full Professor.

You're a good role model--because you've experienced both the bad and the good.

So have I--but I've remained a clerk all my life, despite getting my Bachelor's.

androbot01
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27 Apr 2015, 6:58 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:

I haven't had a great two weeks myself. I got laid off from my second job (fortunately, I still have my first).

Sorry to hear that, kraftie.

kraftiekortie
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27 Apr 2015, 6:59 pm

Thanks, Ann

Thems are the breaks!

I hope to get another one soon. I've only had one interview in two weeks. I've taken two tests, though.

How's everything going with your program? How's that new apartment?

androbot01
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27 Apr 2015, 7:04 pm

Fingers crossed for you.

kraftiekortie wrote:

How's everything going with your program? How's that new apartment?

I've got the big stuff moved in, still have to take a few boxes. I'm trying to move in increments. This is the last full week of classes; next week we have job trials. So I'm a little stressed, but I'm trying to do one thing at a time.

kraftiekortie
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27 Apr 2015, 7:13 pm

Of course, Ann.

But at least you're moving forward and making progress.

androbot01
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27 Apr 2015, 7:18 pm

Yup. :-)

The landlord says there are ghosts in the building. So maybe I won't be so lonely.

kraftiekortie
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27 Apr 2015, 7:23 pm

I hope one of the ghosts is Casper :wink:

He can certainly use a friend!

androbot01
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27 Apr 2015, 7:27 pm

I was hoping for Heath Ledger or Patrick Swayze. :wink:

ProfessorJohn
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27 Apr 2015, 7:30 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:

That's a good way at looking at it.

I think you've turned the corner as to regretting your past. Which is something which you really NEEDED.

Not completely, I was depressed as heck over it on Saturday. I did talk to one of my cousins on Sunday, and he made it sound like most of his brothers (he has 4) had a dating life pretty similar to mine. Didn't realize that maybe mine was more normal than it seemed. I guess maybe I tended to make friends with guys who were really gifted in that area, so I had an inflated view of what is normal.

Sorry to hear about the job. Sure you will get another one soon. What sort of "clerking" do you do?

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27 Apr 2015, 7:35 pm

autismthinker21 wrote:

ImmenseLoad wrote:

cakey wrote:

I met my BF and what caught my interest in himw as his kindness and properness. He did make himself noticable though with his extreme opinions, which is what made me look his way in the first place.

I have no idea what your BF's personality is like but how do you stand his "uniqueness" that comes with aspergers? Isn't he socially awkward to some degree? Isn't socializing hard for him in any way?

Basically what I'm saying is wouldn't an average woman be almost ashamed of having a relationship with a person with aspergers since normal people lives are dominated by social activities and those who don't socialize are ostracized as loners or freaks?[/quote oh you mean you take advice from stupid dumbasses? Maybe you need a rethink of socializing. I did have a social life. It was destroyed by insecure people.

Ummmm, how do "insecure people destroy your social life"?

Your friends (presumably) like you for being you. Insecure people (and secure people and whomever else) are entitled to not like you (nor you them) -- but lack the "power" to make your friends dislike you (unless you're in junior high or did something empirically and egregiously awful).

kraftiekortie
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27 Apr 2015, 7:36 pm

I work for New York County as a data entry operator.

At my other job, I was a verifier/corrector of nursing forms.

autismthinker21
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27 Apr 2015, 11:09 pm

Ok, my friend that I hangout with has a girlfriend. So your not correct. I didn't make you come back for my statement, you decided to come and say the same thing over and over. Ignore my
Statement if its such a joke. I was brought on here by someone years ago
Telling me this place can be good.

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