The Cure for Nice Guy Syndrome

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I never said that it applies to the whole world or to everyone. Are you from a different country?



Are we nothing but animals or are we more than just animals? Just because we evolved from this does this mean we should go this way? Should we not be better? Did we not evolve to choose to reject these animalistic based instincts and to embrace higher order based and spiritual based thinking.



*Sighs* First, I am married so this does not apply to me at all. Of course emotions are dictated by thoughts but where do thoughts come from? Thoughts come from one's interpretation of reality. Change the reality that you are in by bringing meaning to one's own life by spinning one's own straw into gold. Read Poetry, go to the beach, improve one's career, write fanfiction, have fun. Live life to bring value to oneself and to others and not to satisfy some other person's agenda. If one scorns you for not getting laid or attempts emotional manipulation to make you feel like s**t then reject it. If one wants to live off the grid then do it. Reject this whole focus on getting laid that our over-sexed culture promotes. Change the desire.

I'm writing fanfiction for heck of it and my wife and I are doing a non-profit.




Why are these my only two options to go by?

Overgeneralizing much?

If a women finds "hey, wanna go on a date?" to be too direct, than you're better off without her. There are plenty of women (and Men) who value directness. Aspies shouldn't be wasting thier time on girls who don't.

it does not miss the point at all, actually. if your intentions are sh***y and you are direct about them, people might not respond well to you.

True hustling was a part of the culture but there were other things that different cultures valued. Here in the USA, Business is our business.



This is a good reason but to me it is not the reason.



Of course it is damaging.



Not a bad idea.



Maybe you're right. I just think we should think about other stuff. To me, American society is just to sensate. To me, there has to be a lot more than just empirical reality. I just feel like American culture is all about style and no substance. It's like everything is bland and there is no color. Is this truthfully all there is? What is beyond?

Heres how it really goes! [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZO6b_VGi0x8[/youtube]

These are very good questions. Why do males have this skewed and warped view of women? Maybe it is instinct of some kind or is it what is promoted in our culture? Why can't a male and female be good friends? I believe they can and should. This is why I'm telling males to stand up and reject this nonsense in our culture to develop themselves, get awesome hobbies, go to the beach, cultivate deep and profound friendships with males and females. Reject this whole idea that one has to have sex for this rite of passage, stand up to the culture by going your own way, and by doing your own thinking.

If a guy truthfully values a particular woman and does want to date her then he can ask her. Don't try to get laid because one wants to be popular, be cool and fit in. This popular culture is a form of authority. I'm with Timothy Leary when he says to question authority. Authority does not just entail the law, religious authorizes but what is popular as well. An excellent movie of what I'm talking about that is a good example is Ferris Bueller's Day Off. He not only questioned the school authority but questioned the authority of the jocks, stoners, and other popular groups as well. Why does one always have to have sex to have a good time. Why does one always have to get high to have fun? If one wants to see a play by Shakespeare and get cultured then do that. Question all authority and think for yourself and spin your own straw into gold as long as we bring benefit to ourselves, our fellow man and harm not our fellow man.


[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SQq_XmhBTgg[/youtube]

Last edited by cubedemon6073 on 14 May 2014, 1:39 pm, edited 2 times in total.

I agree. If the girl says no, it simply means she is not interested in you. Not every girl out there will be a good match for you based on your personality.

What happened to kissing and hugging anyway?

I'm sure I pointed this out before, but: that is not "women logic". That is "person with chronic low self esteen logic". If you think they are one and the same, I suggest you reflect on why that might be.

There are probably as many analyses and critiques of the situation/culture as you can shake a stick at. I dont think Nice Guys are all that new. I don't think people or cultures ever really come to a settled relationship with sex.

That said, I think you're present concerns are related to capitalism, the media (which mediates) and advertising/marketing.




Only throughout history an awful lot of non 'alpha' people have shacked up and procreated quite succesfully. Often times they've had more kids than the 'alpha' people.

There's a lot of theories that make evoke some notion of 'evolution' or 'biology' that, if actually reflected on for a few seconds, quickly reveal themselves to be very poor at capturing and covering the facts of experience.

Nice Guys are jerks. Just like the jerks they insist women always go for at the expense of the nice guys the Nice Guys think they are (untrue, but still). They just try to hide their jerkiness behind some veil of 'niceness', or because they in some way want to think of themselves as 'better' than the jerks who are open and direct in their jerkness. They try and make a positive character trait out of their failure to be openly jerky.

There are many, many, many decent, kind, thoughtful etc men who date and marry and procreate. The Nice Guys get hung up on the openly jerky because that's what they really want to be. They just suck at it, so go the more passive-aggressive route.

I will give an example from my personal life of what I did.

In one of my classes, when I went to college a while back, I thought this young lady liked me. I did not know if she did or did not. I finally said one day to myself that this is insane. In high school I never knew if a young lady liked me or not. I finally decided to clear the air and asked her to the movies and she told me that she had a bf. It was like a relief that washed over me. At least I knew and everything was up front.

I said "okay, that's cool" and moved on about my day. After class, I studied for a bit, ate some pizza for lunch, played StarCraft and went to my next class. I just went and enjoyed the rest of my day and at the end of the semester I got A's in my classes as well. My goal was to clear the air of mystery and get it off of my mind. I was able to enjoy my studying, pizza, and my game. Moral of the story is quit worrying about all of this BS, if you think a woman likes you and you like her, ask her out. If she says yes, then awesome you have a date and if she says no then continue to have an awesome day. Don't let sex, friendship zone, nice guy ruin your good time and think for yourself and reprogram your mind.

My point is question authority, spin your straw into gold, have an awesome time and go to Canter's Deli and get a Pastrami on Rye.

Yeah, the video isn't believable at all. Totally lame.

AspieOtaku, stop posting lame videos.

You could always try the Love Shack:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=leohcvmf8kM[/youtube]

Huggin' and a-kissin',
Dancin' and a lovin',
Wearin' next to nothing
Cos it's hot as an oven

I have further questions about this goldfish.

1. One has a sub-conscious right? If one has a sub-conscious then how are all thoughts originated by the person in a conscious way?

2. Let's say one has faulty premises and does not even know he has faulty premises. How can one choose to think different thoughts and come to better thinking if one's thinking is skewed and he doesn't realize it is skewed? How can one choose to use a faulty mind to derive better thoughts both if he knows the thoughts are faulty and if he doesn't know the thoughts are faulty?

3. You say no one can think my thoughts but me and I will accept this to be true. Even if it is true how can one use faulty thoughts to get to sound thoughts?

4 If my thoughts which were faulty in the first place how is it reasonable, logical and sensible to expect one without any guidance or help to think better thoughts.

5. Let's the person receives help. How does the person who has faulty thinking make sure the information he is receiving from the person who is helping them is being translated in their mind the way it is intended?

6. Based upon this, is it true that one only has control over his thoughts within a certain framework and he can only think thoughts that this framework allows?

7. Is it true that one's extent of control over his thoughts is predetermined to what he or she understands and what he is capable of understanding?

i've heard that the love shack is where it's at.

I will just leave the following points as there is a lot I read here:

1. Give because you want to, expect less or nothing in return for what you give.
2. Do your best to be peaceful, relaxed and smiling when you give to others. People are more afraid to say yes to someone who is not smiling and looking serious.
3. Don't tolerate bad behaviour from other people if you know you wouldn't behave that way yourself. If you know that person, assess whether they deserve a second chance.
4. Don't keep tabs of who you gave what to and who owes you something. Friendships and relationships aren't businesses. Friendships are usually more fun when the occasional surprises happen, and some friendships are even full of surprises. It's more fun to be around someone because you want to be there, not because you are owed something or are expecting something.
5. Many people are going to be more concerned about what you can give them. These people are usually employers and employees, business partners, customers and salesmen, and friends expecting a favor from you for asking a friend to do something they wouldn't normally do (borrowing money for example).