so if you didn't feel like you had to get a girl....

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Laddo, a quarter of women have been raped, in the US. Two-thirds have been sexually harassed. Some other proportion, probably somewhere inbetween, have been the victims of domestic violence at the hands of men. Men are generally larger and stronger than women.

If white men in the US experienced this much violence, this extreme, at the hands of 7' tall, powerfully built black men, you would be buried in abuse if you even suggested it was unreasonable that they should be wary enough to cross the street. What you'd really be hearing was calls for helicopter attacks and wall-building.

This is literally why I never talk to/make eye contact with anyone I'm not acquainted with.

i assure you, i am not the one seeing only one side of this. did you actually read the article in the link i posted or did you just ignore it? if you actually read it, here's another explaining the difference between schrodinger's rapist and schrodinger's racist:

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/camelswithhammers/2012/01/schrodingers-rapist-and-schrodingers-racist/

Also, fearing all men for something one or more men has done to them is making an unconscious, broad sweeping statement that men are the enemy. So in your own opinion, women should fear men, so they are more likely to reject men's advances. That in turn causes the rejected men to resent women. In a lot of men that resentment, according to you, boils up into pure, venomous hatred of women, which, according to you, will cause a large portion of men to abuse women. In other words, you seem to be saying it's an endless cycle that cannot be stopped. Not a very optimistic outlook for womankind everywhere, is it? It's like saying to women everywhere "You are f****d." Surely a bit more cooperation instead of slander would be a better way to achieve equality.

You live in California, one of the most progressive states in the U.S. Your experience is not the same as people in the South or Midwest. Where I grew up, some people live in the 21st century but for others, the sexual revolution never took place. There is a racial caste system and there are strict gender roles and you had better be a Protestant Christian if you want to be a "respectable" member of society. I imagine that most of the land mass of the U.S. (the rural areas and the inland areas) are more similar to where I am from than where you live. You also live in a college town, which has a liberalizing effect.

No offense Laddo, but I think you might kinda assuming too much or imagining stuff? What made you think in the first place that they were crossing the road because you were walking toward them and because you're tall and man? They were probably just crossing the road! Also observing people's movements that much might make you look across as a potential predator.

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Last edited by billiscool on 13 Jul 2014, 6:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.

And how many men have been raped? By other men and by women? If a man says stop to a woman and she doesn't stop, or a woman pressures a man into say despite him saying no, that is rape. How many men have been murdered at the hands of women? Or been beaten with weapons? You still don't seem to see the other side. Instead you're taking it as me saying "women don't get abused" or something. I've said previously that more women do get abused at the hands of men. It doesn't mean that it is entirely one-sided, as you seem to be portraying.

This thread is now officially pure man hate. It's gone from saying we get too hung up on women, to we're all being portrayed as potential rapists to some bizarre tangent about babies. It's just becoming an excuse to slag men off

i never said women SHOULD fear men or that this is an optimal situation in any way shape or form. i never said really any of things you are attributing to me. please stop putting words in my mouth.

perhaps i should make that my signature. please stop putting words in my mouth.

Well, I thought exactly the same thing but didn't want to say so in case it set him off again !
They might have just been crossing the road like normal people often do.
If a man is staring at them so much that he can observe the definite reason for women crossing a road, then they might pick up on that and have heightened wariness around him... and be much more likely to avoid him on purpose.

literally NO ONE is this thread has said these things don't happen to men as well, or to gay men/lesbians, or any of the other things you are saying. you are arguing against things people have not said.

That's why I said it's like the US in the 50/60 (to describe the conservatives) + significant liberal communities/groups due to globalism and western influences.

It's pretty obvious if they're glancing back at me as they cross. Just like women do it just when I'm walking behind them even in a well-lit, busy street. I don't stare at them, but that doesn't mean I can't see it.

Starvingartist, I didn't say anyone was saying they don't happen to men. I'm saying they're glossed over. Did anyone even notice the earlier post by a male member about his fear of people in general? Or did they just assume he was female...?

Last edited by Laddo on 13 Jul 2014, 4:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Also, how many times do I have to say I don't deny the fact that there's a larger portion of men enciting abuse against women?

This thread was originally about how men get too hung up over wanting a woman. Is it not possible that most men react in different ways to things to most women? There's a thread on here about men being more emotionally affected by lost love than women. If that claim is based on a scientific study, which I believe it is, then does that not suggest that that is just the way men are - we dwell on lost love more than women, which could well be linked to getting more hung up about being single?

The thread has basically told men not to do that from the start. Which is basically saying "don't be who you are. Man up and deal with it"

All of these types of threads seem to devolve so quickly.

What is it with people taking a well known fact (that women DO get raped and sexually assulted, and this is too common) and then come up with the argument, "Oh, what about the MEN. It's a small number but it still happens to them"...completely ignoring the fact that the problem is largely affecting women.

I just think it is so selfish to take it out of context and minimise the problems women face - by stating that it happens to men too, so the women should stop complaining (??). What sort of a counter-argument is that anyway? It's completely irrational.