Banned from POF

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(shrug) who do you think appoints and oversees the mods? It's serious work, managing people. Even worse managing an army of volunteers. You have to hire people to do that kind of thing. Do you really think it's reasonable that a site should have to hire someone, salary/benefits and the whole thing, just for screening dick pics? I don't -- but the alternative, if you're going to be non-sexist, is to ban all private photos from all people. Problem: you kill the site that way. So then the question is: Would you, men, rather that the site died, or that we simply said, "Forget it, no pix from men"? I guess you could also ask if people would be willing to pay for the service in order to keep the dick-pic-screening service running, but my guess is the answer would be no to that, too.

When you consider that there's also a practical workaround here (like sending pictures through any of 4 jillion other services), it looks even less like something to get riled about.

Personally, I don't mind when I'm caught up in a demographic net; I know it's not about me, and so long as I'm not actually being accused of doing something I haven't, or it stops me from doing something central to ordinary life (working in field of my choice, raising kid, etc.) I'm fine. I also wouldn't mind being screened by a competent, professional security staff at airports and borders, because although I know perfectly well that I'm not a terrorist, s**t does happen.

The reality is that when it comes to crimes, offensive behaviors, etc., there isn't time to deal with everyone lovingly and as a distinct human being. If I could wave a wand and make that happen someplace, I'd make it happen first in courtrooms. All kinds. Criminal, family, you name it. The backlogs are insane, and the courts function as machines, because they have to. And anyone who doesn't recognize that they're stuck in a machine -- meaning disproportionately poor and poorly-educated people -- is in for a world of hurt.

if I can't say alot of women ......, then you two shouldn't be albe to say alot of men....

I fail to see how one is ok and the other is bad. except for a idea that things said about women is sexist but women can say all they want about men.

change all to most Muslims. is it ok now?

just as I didn't say that you want a guy to have a job, car, house, and be attractive to date him. I said a lot of women want those. I was slammed as that sentence coming off sexist and hurtful.

so no you don't say me personally just men in general are those things.

fact is when a person says most men rape women, it makes men feel like they are part of the most. since most would be a over 50% of the population of males, it is likely then that I would be part of the that. you two seem to view sexism one sided.

you want to ban what you call sexism based on how it hurts women's feelings but hurting men's feelings is ok.

saying alot or most men do something hurts mine and others feelings how is it ok?

OMG.

no one here is saying most men are sex offenders or that "men in general" are sex offenders, ffs. seriously, NO ONE has said that.

not in this thread but in others , its the general attitude that has been building me up to a point where I couldn't hold it in anymore.

meaning that a vast number of men do it which is why men are banned from sending private photos, thus generalizing alot of men send penis shots.




I do not want to nor have the time and emotions to dig up every time either of you said alot or most men.

I just would like if you would stop as it is hurtful.

could have said




If i must learn to phrase my post better then it is only fair women should too.,

A lot: some large number.
Most: >50%.

I think it was Eureka who said she was an OKC mod, where the ratio of men sending offensive pix v. women doing same was 25:1. pof, like OKC, is a large site. 55 million users. So even if only 1 percent of people send nasty pix, and I bet that's low, that's 550,000 people sending their junk. A lot of people. If Eureka's stats hold for pof, then only 4% of those people are women: about 20K. That still leaves *over half a million men sending women photos of their penises*.

That's a lotta sausage.

Fwiw: POF CEO explains why the OP can't send photos.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/elizabeth ... 81808.html

...and if you want to speak to him directly about it, you can leave a comment on his blog.

http://plentyoffish.wordpress.com

which was a guess. I am also a okc mod anyone who is on okc fover over a year is one. I said my experience didn't match that.

most of the complaints I saw were goolge images used to make fake accounts. the rest were close up of tattoos, close up of boobs, pictures of pets/environments. and the one or two guys in tight underwear or shirtless. one and only one penis picture.

well if my evidence based on my area and what I've seen from others then there are also probably atleast the same amount of women who say a guy has to have a job, car, house before they can consider messaging them.

the problem is there is no reall way to prove these numbers.

if guy A gets complained about by 10 women then he is 10 of the 25:1 but it seems like alot cause he did it 10 times, now consider the guy probably spams the picture to 100 women as the genral advice from okc and others is try to reach as many women as possible to improve your odds of getting a date. I can only imagine a guy sending penis picturs wanting sex would most likely follow that idea. he probably spams his pic to as many women as he can manage.

same with the guy who sends out 100 want to have sex messages each day. now that already seems like a lot, now lets say 100 out of 10,000 guys do the same thing we now have we now have 10,000 women who got sent a penis picture. to them it seems like 10,000 guys are sending pictures but it's really only 100. they complain about it which is good. now they see others complaining so it most certianlly proves that theres 10k guys doing it right. but odds are and Ive noticed it. they don't compare the guys doing it, just that guys do it to them.

in summary me and my 10 friends could complain about Rachel but we don't say her name, we just complain about how this girl wronged us. since we don't know its the same girl it seems like there are 10 women who wrong guys.

I had two photos, both of which I was fully clothed in. She was my age, and I was looking for a serious relationship . I've given up for now. I guess I must have been at fault though because apparently every single woman in the world is kind, considerate, sane, and only interested in long term relationships lol. I really don't wanna get dragged back into this. It doesn't seem like you all are gonna see the other side's viewpoint, and its just gonna drag on and on...

and your solution is to discourage women from talking about their own experiences with harassment and sexual assault because it makes you feel bad even though it has nothing to do with you, and to call those women who do talk about their own experiences that have nothing to do with you sexist, and insist they said things to you to hurt your feelings that they never said. brilliant. do you see how you're not helping, and being irrational?

Right, it doesn't matter what you were wearing, because the policy doesn't look at you specifically. You should get in touch with the CEO, he seems quite open to conversation.

sorry for the side track I caused. I will try to remember in the future to just ignore them or rather not read any thread by them or posted in by them(later hard to do) wish I could just hid their posts.

I didn't intend to sidtrack your thread I just felt hurt then i get defensive and my aspie cause me to not give up. not worth causing more drama they won't see my side.

please do feel free to stop responding hysterically to things i never said that your imagination concocts. it might do some good for your own mental health.

how is that suppose to be at helpful to anything. just leave me alone. I don't know why I ever liked you.

why can't we all just stop with this pointless gender wars s**t.
neither of us will agree , what good does fighting with each other do other then cause more hurt and pain.

when I first came here you and tan seemed nice, but this last month or so of gender ways has made me grown disgusted by you two.

why can't we all just have our differences. and move on. those who agree with you do and thos who don't don't continuing the fight here won't sway the other side it just deepens the divide.

I'm not even 100% disagreeing with either of you

Last edited by sly279 on 23 Jul 2014, 1:41 am, edited 1 time in total.

Don't worry about it man. My issue with POF isn't a concern to me anymore, I'm done with it. You will have some conflicting personalities on these forums, maybe it would be best to avoid each other. Live and let live, I guess..

sorry you lost your account there, but if they ban people willy nealy then perhaps its not a good site to be on. I haven't been using it for a few weeks now myself.

they tend to reply to most threads which then turn into gender war threads. in order for it to work they would have to avoid certain threads to. it is likely they suffer the same downfall as once they read something that upsets them they feel the need to reply. or else they would have not replied to me and the conversation would have ended.

oddly I'd felt ignored but perhaps it's the better of two evils. In an ideal world I and they would get along as I once thought we did.

maybe if you would stop trying to shame us out of talking about our experiences with rape and harassment we wouldn't have these clashes--'cause really, i don't get that reaction from guys enough, like it's something awful I DID and should be embarrassed to talk about it because it makes GUYS that have nothing to do with my experience uncomfortable. f**k THAT. i'm not going to avoid talking about what happened to me because it makes YOU feel bad for no rational reason at all.