Such high standards

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I am working to improve myself. I can do both. cause well improving myself is stressful, not really working, causing more emotional problems and likely won't change my issues with women regardless of what I do. I come here cause no one else in my life can understand or care.

as for depression being the reason for women not dating me o.o. they reject me before ever talking to me, meeting , me or interacting with me in any way other then looking at my profile and listing that they don't date people who don't get paid good money. the people who actually do interact with me besides very close friends and family. think I am not depressed and happy because well I am not depressed around others most of the time and when I do I hide it. so instead of my depression causing people to not interact with me its people not interacting with me that cause my depression. I get annoyed how people can only see cause and effect one way without actually examining the situation for data.

isn't like 1/3-1/2 of the us population gamers? be them pc, console or candy crush. the presumption that gamers are kids of basement dwellers is a holdover from the 80s. those kids grew up got jobs had kids and kept gaming. seriously most gamers I know are married with multiple kids working good paying jobs. their wives/husbands play too and they spend most their free time playing when not having get to get togethers or dealing with other life stuff.
gaming is just the same as someone who watches 8 hours of sports a day or tv. its just a hobby it should not' define people just as other hobbies don't.

I play games cause its the sole good distraction I have from all the s**t in my life. that and some games are like movies and I like to continue to see where the story is going go.

^ It's being dealt with.

Not about being perfect, everyone is entitled to love, if you have children, or if you're ever going to have children, tell that child that it's not entitled your love and see how heart-broken and miserable it will be.

Flaws are okay, they're what makes us humans, if we didn't have flaws we'd all be automatons, without personality and without a soul. Our flaws are much more lovable than our perfections, and it's funny how that works because it's only by realizing this that any sort of love can last, otherwise we're just striving for the moment, which is fickle and brief.

But people don't want to see that, they want to live in the moment, for what feels good, what's sexy, what's carnal and easy.

It's perfecly fine for anyone in weakness to feel entitled to love, if not for love existence would have no meaning.

I actually I think that premise, entitled to love, isn't true at all. I was never loved in my life, not even by my own parents. Humans are like this, they pick and choose who they want to give affection to and that affection is mostly conditional anyway. If this were still the dark ages I would have been left out on a cliff somewhere to die as a small child, that is how much regard my parents have for me.

Love is something some people occassionally find, but there are a great many people who never experience it their whole lives. This entitled to love business is a giant fallacy perpetuated in the western world because we're basically rich (on a global scale, even if we don't necessarily think we are) and few other things to really worry about. Our day to day survival mostly isn't in danger, we're fed, housed, clean and have jobs. A lot more than the vast majority of the populations planet.

I've come to the conclusion I may never find love in my life time, but by the same token, I'm unwilling to date outside of my preferences as well. My rationale is pretty much....chances are I will never find real love, so why waste my time and energy with some guy who I am not attracted to for the sake of occassional company and a whole lot of crap I don't want to deal with? Doesn't make sense.

If I don't find the holy grail, my next best choice is to at least enjoy what I do have. Hence I no longer date nor seek out male company. A bad relationship is a whole lot worse than none at all, I know this from experience. Are my standards high? Yes they are very high. Although they have nothing to do with what most men think is attractive to women. But I will admit, my standards instantly disqualify 95% of the entire population. And I have no desire to ever change that. Likewise I don't blame men for failing to meet my standards, I simply accept that my chances of ever having another relationship are extremely low, by my own choice.

I've read lots of the threads in this section. And a recurrent theme occurs throughout all of them. Men complaining that women basically don't want them and it's got nothing to do with them. Big logical fail right there. I was even treated to a nice little dose of hostility and aggression which clearly told me why women were giving that particular male a wide berth. But, no, no in that guys mind outbursts like that have nothing to do with his lack of success with women.

Sure they do. As women we still face a hostile and largely violent world. While not all men are violent towards women, a large enough percentage of them are to make us extremely wary of any forms of aggression. Sure someone losing their s**t in an argument may not be a life and death situation. But why should we be expected to take the risk and find out? It's simple self preservation. If a male comes across as hostile and aggressive you don't give them a second shot at that, it could be the last mistake you ever make.

Hostility isn't always in the form of yelling or punching stuff. Passive aggressive behaviour in men is hostility as well and rings just as many alarm bells. Likewise if you meet an individual chronically into self-hatred, flagellation and with a victim mentality you don't want to go there either. Why? Because this person is highly resistant to recognising their part in their own life outcomes, it's highly likely they will begin to blame you too.

In short, women look for men exhibiting healthy mental mindsets. Things like personal achievement, physical fitness and popularity are all indicators that this person is well adjusted, understands rules of normal society and basically healthy. Yes, I'll admit it's not a perfect indicator. But the chances of getting an awful relationship ride with someone exhibiting poor mental mindset is extremely high. Once again, why take the chance?

And if this all sounds awfully misandrist just remember, that males choose mates in exactly the same way. Albeit they may assign a slightly higher value to physical appearance. But what male in their right mind will willingly date a woman who constantly complains, says the whole world is against them on top of just looking average? If I start posting on here or anywhere else how bad men are in general, do you think anyone will want to date me even if I looked incredibly hot? Not a chance in hell. So why blame women for holding you guys to the exact same standards. We aren't here on the planet to simply be a breeding pool for you guys. No matter how much you want to cling to that notion.

@Echolalia, you know what's evil's greatest asset in this world? It's not strength, it's not speed, it's not fear, it's deception.

If you think big performers are well adjusted, you'd be very wrong. Do you want to know a cruel fact about this world? Look at a nature documentary, see a younger lion drive off an older veteran from his pride, then witness that young lion butcher all the cubs so the female lions can go back into heat. In the animal kingdom, this is what it means to be 'well adjusted', humans have merely put on a thin veneer over this cruel fact, they fluffed and propped it up to appear as something it's not. The whole system is based on getting ahead at the expense of others, it's the same exact thing, lions butchering their cubs... humans exploiting their own. The ones that can best gain the system have to be carnal and vain at the foremost, there's nothing moral, sweet, or kind about performance.

And what do they say about power and corruption? The more you love power, the harder it is to relinquish it, the more you love it, the more it corrupts, until there is nothing but evil.

Imo, you'd be better off identifying someone who can let go trophies and accolades, but then again, that would require some sacrifice, because that person is not going to live a rich life. However, is there any greater indicator of love than bearing a cross for another human being? Being content in suffering together shows that the love is real, it has been tested, but in decadence it's hard for it the love to endure because of all the distraction and comfort it engorges itself with...in other words you don't really know that it's real because there is no blood and discomfort involved.

The advantage of finding love in weakness is that you know for certain that the love is real, because that's where the real comfort was all along -- in the company, not in what surrounded it.

Once again, deception is evil's greatest asset; real comfort wasn't in wealth and amenities, it was in company, simple and sweet, that's ultimately all that a human wants, just some company.

But evil thrives because it deceives the senses, makes all the things that are carnal appear as if they were the love, but it's just not true.

Be aware that when you choose this world's definition of what is worthy of love, that you perish by that same token. In these forums there are a lot of lonely males who would beam at the slightest thought of your company, now if only you could see how much that's worth.

I don't actually believe all rich men are evil nor that all poor ones are saints and necessarily any more caring. Why don't I believe this? Because I have first hand experience of both.

The wealthy guy I dated was by far the more sane one and the one that actually was kindest to me. Not talking about buying me stuff, I was talking about truly cared about my interests to some degree. Would go and negotiate a car for me so I didn't get ripped off, encouraged me to put money aside for my future, helped me understand things about the working world so I could have a better career. Those were real things that helped me a great deal and had nothing to do with how much money was in his bank account, only what was in his mind with regards to my future. 10yrs after our breakup and he still calls me, asks how I'm going, gives me good advice. He's now married with 4 kids.

My poor guy appeared to have a lovely nature, nice to look at too and didn't seem overly concerned with 'stuff'. That was all an act. Turns out he was very concerned with 'stuff' namely mine and what he could get out of me. After he moved in and I asked him (nicely) to pay the rent that had agreed to prior to moving in I was subjected to a tantrum the likes of which I have never seen. Needless to say it was very threatening in nature and it took me some time and energy to get rid of this guy. He was a parasite and that is how he had gotten in life thus far. Playing nice boyfriend to lonely women then attempting to get whatever he could out of them.

So for me, a solid career, personal achievement (not necessarily monetary) and a good circle of friends are all indicators of a somewhat stable individual. Guy #2 had no close friends, I learnt to my detriment why, conveniently lost his job shortly after moving in with me, and proceeded to display a jekyll and hyde persona for the duration of our relationship. Thank god it was relatively easy to get rid of him. I am now very wary of individuals who come to me asking for a sympathy vote. While I can empathise with people who are in tough circumstances, if they show me that they aren't willing to do anything to help themselves it's a big red flag.

No one is entitled to something such as love.
The whole victim mentality is just so disfunctional. My boyfriend didn't come out of thin air.