Asperger's dating statistics

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ya, I hate it when people argue when people say that real men, men with balls have the power in the dating game, when in reality, almost all the time, women are the ultimate choosers, they make the choice whether or not things usually go past the first or second date, whether a first date happens in the first place, whether exclusivity is formed.

Except there are lots and lots and lots of women out there, who collectively choose to avoid you. In a variety of fora. All fora, from the sounds of it.

Have you considered that there is a common denominator?

You sound awfully familiar, Lightbulb.

I have tried to do the "ignore what I have and focus on what I missed out on deal" and it will drive you crazy. Just getting over that now myself. If/when do you get a girlfriend, focus on how great it is to have one. Yeah, it sucks that you/me/probably lots of other Aspies missed out on that stuff earlier in life, but it is better to have one later in life than not at all.

much easier said than done, that's why I sometimes wish I had an emotion chip like Data from Star Trek The Next Generation.

indeed.



for me its a big problem as I'll always want that stuff. so I'll never be happy in a relationship that never had it.

The 5th account .

Lightbuld,

here are my suggested username list for your upcoming incarnations:


TVroom
bedroom
bathroom
microwave
oven
WiiU
Katkat
Kitkat
Sausagegirl
ValkyrieWithHammerOfJudgment
XenaThePrincessWarrior

[MODERATOR]

Dear, Lightbulb:

Die, harpy.

To the rest of you:

I haven't been around much due to it being finals week; however, if Madam Troll keeps popping up, feel free to either ping me, or flag another moderator. I'll be happy to keep dropping houses on her until she quits.

[/MODERATOR]

That's the funniest ban ever.


Add harpy and MadamTroll to the list!!

I'm glad to hear your recovering, partly for your sake but most of all for my own sake. After reading your earlier posts I was terrified that I would end up as a married 48 year old man who was mad that I didn't have any relationships as a teenager when so much of our culture is based on the idea that that's when you have your first relationship.

When I heard you say stuff like that, it made me think of how I think. Even when I'm in a relationship I feel mad when I see teenagers or 20 year olds who are together or when I hear people tell stories about it (present tense or past tense) or read about it (everywhere on the web) or see it on TV (every channel). I know it happens all the time in real life, not just TV and it makes me mad.

So I'm glad that you can get over regretting the past because it makes me think maybe I can. I think I would just be too hard on myself if I was feeling sorry formyself even while in a relationship. If I spent too much time feeling bad about something that isn't even happening at the time.

And maybe I shouldn't judge myself by NT standards. As for aspies, only 2 out of 16 aspie guys under 30 I know in meatspace are currently in a relationship. Only 5 of 16 have ever had one. Two thirds of the aspie girls I know in meatspace are in a relationship. If I count all ages, 5 out of 19 aspie guys I know are in a relationship and 9 out of 19 have had one. All of the middle aged aspie guys that I know are married (though unfortunately for me they married quite young and one of the under 30s I mentioned is 23, been married since he was 19).

Maybe by those standards it really is normal for aspie guys to not have a relationship during youth. I know as a teenager there were girls who liked me. If I had just handled things a little bit differently I could have made good. I think if I knew then what I know now, I could have succeeded with my then current abilities. But then I remember I didn't know then what I know now and I shouldn't project my current mindset onto my teenaged self. I had different ways of thinking then. Maybe there's a reason why it takes most aspie guys a third of their lives to figure out how to turn the near misses into hits.

Maybe I shouldn't worry about how old I was or who did what at what age because if I worry about that too much, I start to become like the lady from Keeping Up Appearances. More concerned about how my image looks than important stuff. Worried about people judging me for things they probably don't even care about but in my paranoid mind they do. Even if people knew about my past (they don't), even if people cared about my past (they might not worry even if they knew), even though a few small minded people have chastised me for being too old to not have had a relationship (made me mad when they were 5 years younger than me and they had their first 5 years before that)... even when my paranoia turns out to be right and people really are judging me harshly, I should think of Keeping up Apparances and remember I shouldn't fall into the same thinking patterns as Hyacinth.

Anyway, even though I have a very small sample size, I hope I provided you with some actual aspie dating statistics. Not the sample size only includes aspies I know in meatspace and does not count myself.

Ya, its the harsh cruel reality of life

always hard for me. always a small chance there could be another woman like her. so like to give them a chance, but odds seem so low that such similar people would sign up so close to the last getting banned. I can't for the life of me see what she gains from doing this o.O

I got this powerful quote from an eBook about meeting and attracting women, sadly the author is very right:

"A Man will often distract himself with work, porn, hobbies, his friends, or other things in an attempt to mask the pain of being unsuccessful with women. No matter what they do, nothing replaces their primal, innate, instinctive desire to have a loving, intimate, sexual relationship with a real woman.

Accepting defeat is not going to fix any of your issues with women. Your desire to have sex with women and be loved by women is not going to go away if you play more computer games, video games, other hobbies, working harder on your job, career, education, or making more money. You want women and that is that, it is not going to go away."

Which book was that from?

The Flow by Dan Bacon, he runs a site/blog called The Modern Man, he is from Australia.