The value of men

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"We would have a true Eutopia, where peace reigns, and men do only what they exist for...

Breed.

Labor.

SERVE.

Die." -- Femithiest Divine

well what I mean is that a mans job, career, occupation, stability, income, is unfortuneately, always gonna have a huge impact on his dating/mating market value way more so than the other way around.

That may or may not be true. Assuming it is, you've got two options available to you: continue to complain that adult, stable financially independent women rarely want anything to do with adult men who aren't independent and financially stable (not rich, not expecting a sugar daddy, just able to pull their own weight) or do something about it (become gainfully employed and financially stable).

Is there a third, fourth, fifth option? If so, I'd love to hear it.

I must agree. My confidence, success with women and life in general have become much better since I quit my old job and got a higher paying, more professional job. Financial stability is good but the best part has been that it helped to boost my self-esteem.

and if you just can't do that. you know like millions and millions of people can't? not everyone is middle class. most the population is lower class or poor. millions more struggle to find work year after year despite working thier asses off. why does having a vagina and boobs make women so much better then men?

imagine if you told gays they can either complain about the hatred or they can just do something about it and become straight. some people are just poor and will always be poor. there's this whole system made to keep poor people poor.

i pitty you, and feel sorry if you ever lose your job and then woman leaves you. better make dam sure you never get fired or the place never goes under.

you also lucked out that there was a place specifically hiring aspies. if one is lucky enough to get a job here any job. you'd be dumb a s**t to quit it as you'd be unlikely to find another job non less a higher paying one in a different field.

I do not care about or a mans money or touch. I want to be able to take care of myself. I don't think marriage is for me. That doesn't mean I wouldn't like or don't believe in long term (even life long) relationships.

And just because I personally don't feel the need for marriage, doesn't mean I don't believe it can't work for other people. I'm sure they have their reasons for wanting a marriage, just the way I have my reasons for not wanting one.

And, the success rate of marriage has actually risen in recent years, or so I've heard.

and what angers me, pisses me off, is too many people think we guys should feel lucky, blessed for being born male.

Not every woman is obsessed with money. Some of them could care less. Just because someone gets laid off from a job doesn't mean a woman will automatically leave their partner.

I would bet that you are really a special woman, Goofy (in a good sense).

I do hope you find your "one and only" soon.

I know most women would prefer men who have a high income but I wouldn't want to be with a man who is high income but treats me terribly because he doesn't understand me and I am unhappy in the marriage/relationship. But I met my husband and he didn't have a high income but he was very sweet and a nice guy and very understanding and accepting of me. he did lose his job because he got too disabled to work, his body started to break down from all the stress it couldn't handle from him trying to make it do that it couldn't do because of his feet condition. He tried to live a normal life and not let pain stop him and he had that attitude about not letting your disability limit you and you just live with it and go through the struggles so he thought anyone else who didn't do what he did despite their disability were all lazy and used it as an excuse to not work or try. But I think his attitude changed and he felt real depressed with himself. He thought I was going to leave him due to my money anxiety because he wasn't working so I told him what would leaving him do? I would still have less money and it would be even more stressful because of our son and I would be poor and how would I even support myself and take care of the kids? I would probably be a welfare mom or something because how would I work with childcare? Where would I even go? If I had high income, I don't think this wouldn't have been a big deal and I wouldn't have had so much anxiety Because I would still have money left over after our bills from my paycheck. But we were going paycheck to paycheck pretty much and my hubby wasn't getting better so my parents had to help out by taking our son so he can heal and he got better in 3 weeks because he didn't have to force himself to move to take care of our child while I was at work and I couldn't just quit my job to stay home or else we would have been evicted and it's hard for me to find employment so I can't even afford to lose a job. Just s**t that happened and it got over with thanks to family help.

Yep stressful and I can see why women would want men with high incomes and who aren't disabled. But it seems less likely in men that they wouldn't want a woman who makes less than them or who are disabled. Now my husband gets SSDI and has finally accepted he is disabled. He still wishes he can work but he knows he can't because he is so limited. he can't have a job that makes him move around on his feet all the time, he can't have a computer job because he is terrible with numbers and reading and writing, he can't get a job working at a cashier machine because he would make too many mistakes due to his disability, he can't work where he can write, what can he do? Compared to him I can do anything. Not literally because no one can do anything or else everyone would be mathematicians or be able to go out in space.

I used to say money didn't matter but I realize it does matter in a way because I have been with two guys and one didn't want to work and he wanted to spend money on stuff he wanted so it was like I was raising him like he was a child and I didn't like having to pay for him and pay to feed him because he didn't want to work or pay to take him anywhere because he wouldn't get his license because he didn't want to pay for his car maintenance or for gas. Then there was my second ex and he wanted to live a lifestyle by wanting a nice car, nice home, nice dishes and furniture and appliances and that was his pride but he couldn't afford it and he refused to live with what he can and couldn't afford so he was always broke and getting money from his grandparents to pay for his food and expenses. He was paying too much for a phone and would spend money on entertainment whenever he had money instead of saving it for bills and he wondered why he didn't have any money? I remember he bought nice furniture he couldn't even afford and put it on a payment plan and he had them go to storage until he found a place to live on his own again. So yes finances do matter in a way and I wouldn't want to be with someone who was careless with their money and always wanted to spend it and couldn't save it and someone who can't even keep a job because they didn't like the people there or their boss or the customers or because they were bored so they were always quitting or getting laid off or be with someone who can't even bother to show up at work because they always called in sick for some reason when they weren't truly sick or just not show up because they didn't feel like working or not be with someone who doesn't want to work because they feel it's a waste of their time and it takes them away from their special interest. My first ex was like this, he would call in sick for a reason, always complained about his coworkers and boss and always wanted to quit and he found a way to get fired by telling his boss he couldn't work for 3 weeks because he didn't have a ride and his boss never put him on schedule again. Then he expected to have my dad talk to his boss about transferring him to a closer McDonalds to work at but that never happened and he wouldn't even talk to his boss and to the other McDonalds because he was convinced my dad would do it. I had enough of this and dumped him. it did help me work out my deal breakers. You don't know what you want until you are in a relationship which is why people get so rigid with deal breakers so they may seem ridiculous but I believe theirs comes from their personal experience or knowing someone who had that experience.

People say family is more important than money, what if you can't afford to miss work because you are that poor so you have to work to feed your kids and to keep a roof over their heads and keep your water on and the electricity? So yes money can be more important than staying home with your family unless you have a high enough income to stay home and be with your family than going into work. I also understand people can't always afford to lose their jobs either or else they may have to move and moving is hard on the kids and on the parents so they may have to work to keep their job if their boss wouldn't let them have time off for their families. I knew a mom at work and she was always working and always put her work first before her kids because she was that poor so she needed money to take care of them and they all understood and were thankful she worked her butt off to feed them and to keep their home and everything. She even worked on her days off because my boss sometimes needed more people so she would always call her first. I learned then that it isn't always true that family is more important than money.


TLDR; my husband is on SSDI after becoming disabled, he always had a low income when we met and then he was working full time making close to $2000 a month approx. and plus my income so that would be close to about $5,000 total or $4,000, I don't remember. Then he became disabled and now only gets SSDI. I would rather be with a nice man who is understanding and doesn't have a high income than be with a man who makes a shedload of money and treats me horribly because he doesn't understand me.

Having a vagina and boobies, as you so charmingly put it, doesn't make my life better or easier -- just different (and statistically likely to earn much less than men while being statistically likely to be physically assaulted by one).

Plenty of working and lower class men are financially stable and live independently -- and I'm happy to date them. I don't have a "middle or upper class men only" dating rule, nor do any women I know. My standard isn't unreasonable.

Also, the financially stable thing has more to do with one's ability to plan, save and live within your means than it does the amount of money you make.

Yep. I said in my other post that just because someone can work and make money doesn't mean they are stable.

I agree with this.

Men have no value, just impregnating and dying that is it.

That's pretty much what a lot of men must think then, otherwise there wouldn't be so many single moms. It takes a lot to stay and be an actual parent to a child. It's easy to impregnate and move on.