Messages women get in dating sites
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,051
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
I am skeptical as I didn't find the original study that claim this.
I've found also this: https://psmag.com/8-000-years-ago-17-wo ... .2d4ze6xcn
8000 years ago, 17 women reproduced for one man? So either men died a lot, or there was extreme polygyny, could be both.
The source is stated as Monika Karmin et al./Genome Research.
Jacoby
Veteran
Joined: 10 Dec 2007
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 14,284
Location: Permanently banned by power tripping mods lol this forum is trash
Our ancestors had a completely different culture so this is unreliable in comparison to todays society
A blog that is in the New York Times lets not forget that, it's not wordpress or tumblr. What do you mean on today's population? What the current trends are? It would be much less so but I would imagine it would be trending back to the historical norm with the decline of religion and monogamy, the economy, feminism, the nuclear family and even the extended family is a dying thing that you are lucky to have. I wasn't raised in the 50s by the way, more the post-apocalyptic ruins of the 50s. The people that deconstructed society didn't have a clue how to replace it, I feel like things are more miserable now than ever before. People are very antisocial, I am not sure computers and the internet have really bettered human society. We've replaced so much face to face interaction with the illuminated screen, real friends that you do things with to superficial passing ones on the internet that never truly know or care about each other.
I'm not advocating anything by the way, I just see it as a fundamental difference in the human experience but that doesn't mean we can't relate to each other, it doesn't really have to mean anything as it is one aspect of our lives albeit fairly defining aspect but we all have more differences as individuals than we do collectively as men and women. It is kind of weird in a way to try to take the view of the outside observer looking in on humanity, it is Wrong Planet tho.
Also nothing to be skeptical about, why is unbelievable? Look at the examples in all of the animal kingdom. Remember that humans closest relative is the chimpanzee, it's not the bonobo altho they are a close relative as well. All three of these apes have pretty intricate social structures but very different from each other. Bonobos and chimps are kind of the ying and yang, in the wild chimps are highly aggressive territorial animals that will kill for fun whereas bonobos are highly social and resolve conflict with sex as I'm sure some of you know, unless you believe human's were made in god's image then we evolved from apes and our social structures are just more evolved versions of theirs. Most importantly is just my view that humans exist in nature just as all creatures on this earth.
Sweetleaf
Veteran
Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,911
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
Boo, see this. It's not your height at all that keeps you from finding a girlfriend. It's your haircut!
I put better pictures on my okcupid profile for that reason when I was using it, as the initial one wasn't very good and I was overdue for a shower in it so basically it was me looking more my worst than my best. If a guy is keeping their hair short they probably want to keep it from looking scraggily and trim it when it gets that way, if they have long hair it could need brushed or washed.
I have no idea what is keeping Boo specifically from finding a girlfriend, this wasn't directed at anyone in specific to begin with. If anyone wants to take it as more than that or feel insulted fine. What do you actually think there are people that look attractive 100% of the time no matter what? Because there aren't half of 'looks' is hygiene and wearing stuff that fits well on you. You don't have to have some perfect body type the mainstream media portrays as the most desirable to look good was all I was saying.
_________________
We won't go back.
It's also understandable to send generic messages or even copy/pasted messages when your response rate is 1 in 50. If you wait until you've thoroughly read someone's entire profile and looked at how they answered questions, determine you've found the perfect match, send a personalized message, THEN get no response, it's just too frustrating. It is putting way too much effort into something for a very small chance of it actually bearing fruit. It simply is not worth it. I'd also say a 50% response rate is pretty damn good. If you get a 50% response rate you have it pretty easy.
But why should someone respond if you haven't taken the time to read through their profile? That doesn't give the impression that you're very interested in them as a person. I didn't turn people down over awkwardness in the first messege, but short copy paste looking messages never interested me. How is reading someones profile before sending them a messege way too much effort? It will be even more effort to go meet them, date and potentially form a long term relationship.
I never said don't read their profile. I said you can't be extremely picky and write essays as a guy or you will never get a date. How often does a "perfect" match come up? Obsessing over a particular person you find once a month and then not getting any response time after time is psychologically draining. It just doesn't work. Dating for guys is different than it is for women. Women don't seem to understand this.
The thing is you don't ever know why. Obsessing over possible reasons is why guys get down on themselves. It's destructive. They can't become a different person just to be more attractive. I can't see how that is even honest. Not everything you are rejected over is something "fixable".
I think a lot of the reason looking for the "perfect match" as a guy is frustrating is because guys tend to look for women with similar interests and values. They look for a person who could also be a good friend. From my experience NT women don't always do this. I got one or two messages from women I didn't reply to because I was NOTHING like them and that scared me away. Somehow women with nothing in common found me attractive. It doesn't make a lot of sense. It seems a lot of women are attracted to opposites. It is strange.
Sweetleaf
Veteran
Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,911
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
It's also understandable to send generic messages or even copy/pasted messages when your response rate is 1 in 50. If you wait until you've thoroughly read someone's entire profile and looked at how they answered questions, determine you've found the perfect match, send a personalized message, THEN get no response, it's just too frustrating. It is putting way too much effort into something for a very small chance of it actually bearing fruit. It simply is not worth it. I'd also say a 50% response rate is pretty damn good. If you get a 50% response rate you have it pretty easy.
But why should someone respond if you haven't taken the time to read through their profile? That doesn't give the impression that you're very interested in them as a person. I didn't turn people down over awkwardness in the first messege, but short copy paste looking messages never interested me. How is reading someones profile before sending them a messege way too much effort? It will be even more effort to go meet them, date and potentially form a long term relationship.
I never said don't read their profile. I said you can't be extremely picky and write essays as a guy or you will never get a date. How often does a "perfect" match come up? Obsessing over a particular person you find once a month and then not getting any response time after time is psychologically draining. It just doesn't work. Dating for guys is different than it is for women. Women don't seem to understand this.
Well I didn't imply one should be extremely picky and write essays either. It doesn't have to be an essay but enough to let them know you looked at their profile, like what you see and are interested in them specifically. It doesn't have to be just one person a month you send such a message to and I don't suggest obsessing over anyone on a dating site especially before you've even heard back from them.
I think dating in general can be psychologically draining, as much of the time a relationship wont end up working out. A response might lead to a date or meeting up, that might lead to a LTR or a short term thing that doesn't end up working out. I don't think anyone here is trying to imply its not psychologically draining.
Also it seems a lot of guys here say you have to send a bunch of short copy, paste messeges to have any chance of getting a response and a bunch of females here say they prefer more well thought out messages, and then the guys insist it can't work. It seems like women are seen as strange creatures that don't inhabit WP at all around here...considering how our opinions on what approaches from guys work better are disregarded much of the time, either that or most guys here are specifically interested in neurotypicals so don't want to hear what spectrum females think. I understand there are differences between males and females dating, but surely there are some similarities to.
_________________
We won't go back.
It's also understandable to send generic messages or even copy/pasted messages when your response rate is 1 in 50. If you wait until you've thoroughly read someone's entire profile and looked at how they answered questions, determine you've found the perfect match, send a personalized message, THEN get no response, it's just too frustrating. It is putting way too much effort into something for a very small chance of it actually bearing fruit. It simply is not worth it. I'd also say a 50% response rate is pretty damn good. If you get a 50% response rate you have it pretty easy.
But why should someone respond if you haven't taken the time to read through their profile? That doesn't give the impression that you're very interested in them as a person. I didn't turn people down over awkwardness in the first messege, but short copy paste looking messages never interested me. How is reading someones profile before sending them a messege way too much effort? It will be even more effort to go meet them, date and potentially form a long term relationship.
I never said don't read their profile. I said you can't be extremely picky and write essays as a guy or you will never get a date. How often does a "perfect" match come up? Obsessing over a particular person you find once a month and then not getting any response time after time is psychologically draining. It just doesn't work. Dating for guys is different than it is for women. Women don't seem to understand this.
Well I didn't imply one should be extremely picky and write essays either. It doesn't have to be an essay but enough to let them know you looked at their profile, like what you see and are interested in them specifically. It doesn't have to be just one person a month you send such a message to and I don't suggest obsessing over anyone on a dating site especially before you've even heard back from them.
I guess I'm just projecting my own issues. Back when I tried to use OKC I was too picky and didn't send very many messages. When I got no replies from the few people I thought might work I got frustrated. I was given advice to message more people and be less picky. They only way to do this is to message people you're not sure about in the hope that maybe you're opinion will grow if they happen to like you, despite any differences you may have. Maybe most guys don't have this problem. Maybe most guys just go around messaging "hi" or "what's up" to everyone they think has a pretty face and look no deeper. It seems like that's the assumption women here make. If you don't send enough volume of messages you're unlikely to get much in the way of dates. You'll go months or even years. I know women like it when they feel they have been thoughtfully chosen, but the reality is the number of messages sent matters on dating sites. Guys don't get a 50% response rate. Gender roles are real. You simply can't put a lot of emotional effort into every message you send out. Not unless you're extremely attractive and have a 50% response rate.
Woman always imply they have to put the exact same amount of effort into it when that simply isn't true. That dismisses the reality of guys experience on dating sites. Gender roles are very real and men are simply not allowed to be shy. Guys can't get away with just sitting there waiting for a girl to message them. It just doesn't work that way.
Short copy/paste messages give you a better chance than not sending many message at all because you're intimidate by rejection. This is especially true of you have a nice picture. It is not the absolute best strategy, but it's better than some. Sending a message that's a thinly veiled attempt at begging and pleading someone you think is a "perfect match" is a much worse idea. If you message lots of people, even some you're not sure about, it's much less damaging on a psychological level. If you don't get a response to a particular message it's less of a burden. Less than if you tried to craft the "perfect message" to someone you thought you'd really like and then get no response.
It's also understandable to send generic messages or even copy/pasted messages when your response rate is 1 in 50. If you wait until you've thoroughly read someone's entire profile and looked at how they answered questions, determine you've found the perfect match, send a personalized message, THEN get no response, it's just too frustrating. It is putting way too much effort into something for a very small chance of it actually bearing fruit. It simply is not worth it. I'd also say a 50% response rate is pretty damn good. If you get a 50% response rate you have it pretty easy.
But why should someone respond if you haven't taken the time to read through their profile? That doesn't give the impression that you're very interested in them as a person. I didn't turn people down over awkwardness in the first messege, but short copy paste looking messages never interested me. How is reading someones profile before sending them a messege way too much effort? It will be even more effort to go meet them, date and potentially form a long term relationship.
I never said don't read their profile. I said you can't be extremely picky and write essays as a guy or you will never get a date. How often does a "perfect" match come up? Obsessing over a particular person you find once a month and then not getting any response time after time is psychologically draining. It just doesn't work. Dating for guys is different than it is for women. Women don't seem to understand this.
Well I didn't imply one should be extremely picky and write essays either. It doesn't have to be an essay but enough to let them know you looked at their profile, like what you see and are interested in them specifically. It doesn't have to be just one person a month you send such a message to and I don't suggest obsessing over anyone on a dating site especially before you've even heard back from them.
I think dating in general can be psychologically draining, as much of the time a relationship wont end up working out. A response might lead to a date or meeting up, that might lead to a LTR or a short term thing that doesn't end up working out. I don't think anyone here is trying to imply its not psychologically draining.
Also it seems a lot of guys here say you have to send a bunch of short copy, paste messeges to have any chance of getting a response and a bunch of females here say they prefer more well thought out messages, and then the guys insist it can't work. It seems like women are seen as strange creatures that don't inhabit WP at all around here...considering how our opinions on what approaches from guys work better are disregarded much of the time, either that or most guys here are specifically interested in neurotypicals so don't want to hear what spectrum females think. I understand there are differences between males and females dating, but surely there are some similarities to.
I'm interested in liberty minded women. That's rare with women under 30 and even rarer for aspie women; hence why I usually only try to talk to women in their 30s; however I am transitioning at the moment. I have some college left to do and then I can buy a car and move out. Until then, there really isn't any point at all looking to date despite my loneliness. I just refuse to settle for a progressive while living in a progressive area.
Sweetleaf
Veteran
Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,911
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
It's also understandable to send generic messages or even copy/pasted messages when your response rate is 1 in 50. If you wait until you've thoroughly read someone's entire profile and looked at how they answered questions, determine you've found the perfect match, send a personalized message, THEN get no response, it's just too frustrating. It is putting way too much effort into something for a very small chance of it actually bearing fruit. It simply is not worth it. I'd also say a 50% response rate is pretty damn good. If you get a 50% response rate you have it pretty easy.
But why should someone respond if you haven't taken the time to read through their profile? That doesn't give the impression that you're very interested in them as a person. I didn't turn people down over awkwardness in the first messege, but short copy paste looking messages never interested me. How is reading someones profile before sending them a messege way too much effort? It will be even more effort to go meet them, date and potentially form a long term relationship.
I never said don't read their profile. I said you can't be extremely picky and write essays as a guy or you will never get a date. How often does a "perfect" match come up? Obsessing over a particular person you find once a month and then not getting any response time after time is psychologically draining. It just doesn't work. Dating for guys is different than it is for women. Women don't seem to understand this.
Well I didn't imply one should be extremely picky and write essays either. It doesn't have to be an essay but enough to let them know you looked at their profile, like what you see and are interested in them specifically. It doesn't have to be just one person a month you send such a message to and I don't suggest obsessing over anyone on a dating site especially before you've even heard back from them.
I think dating in general can be psychologically draining, as much of the time a relationship wont end up working out. A response might lead to a date or meeting up, that might lead to a LTR or a short term thing that doesn't end up working out. I don't think anyone here is trying to imply its not psychologically draining.
Also it seems a lot of guys here say you have to send a bunch of short copy, paste messeges to have any chance of getting a response and a bunch of females here say they prefer more well thought out messages, and then the guys insist it can't work. It seems like women are seen as strange creatures that don't inhabit WP at all around here...considering how our opinions on what approaches from guys work better are disregarded much of the time, either that or most guys here are specifically interested in neurotypicals so don't want to hear what spectrum females think. I understand there are differences between males and females dating, but surely there are some similarities to.
I'm interested in liberty minded women. That's rare with women under 30 and even rarer for aspie women; hence why I usually only try to talk to women in their 30s; however I am transitioning at the moment. I have some college left to do and then I can buy a car and move out. Until then, there really isn't any point at all looking to date despite my loneliness. I just refuse to settle for a progressive while living in a progressive area.
I cant say I am quite familer with what liberty minded is...but I can certainly understand not looking to date despite loneliness due to not wanting to settle for types you don't find quite so appealing.
_________________
We won't go back.
It's also understandable to send generic messages or even copy/pasted messages when your response rate is 1 in 50. If you wait until you've thoroughly read someone's entire profile and looked at how they answered questions, determine you've found the perfect match, send a personalized message, THEN get no response, it's just too frustrating. It is putting way too much effort into something for a very small chance of it actually bearing fruit. It simply is not worth it. I'd also say a 50% response rate is pretty damn good. If you get a 50% response rate you have it pretty easy.
But why should someone respond if you haven't taken the time to read through their profile? That doesn't give the impression that you're very interested in them as a person. I didn't turn people down over awkwardness in the first messege, but short copy paste looking messages never interested me. How is reading someones profile before sending them a messege way too much effort? It will be even more effort to go meet them, date and potentially form a long term relationship.
I never said don't read their profile. I said you can't be extremely picky and write essays as a guy or you will never get a date. How often does a "perfect" match come up? Obsessing over a particular person you find once a month and then not getting any response time after time is psychologically draining. It just doesn't work. Dating for guys is different than it is for women. Women don't seem to understand this.
Well I didn't imply one should be extremely picky and write essays either. It doesn't have to be an essay but enough to let them know you looked at their profile, like what you see and are interested in them specifically. It doesn't have to be just one person a month you send such a message to and I don't suggest obsessing over anyone on a dating site especially before you've even heard back from them.
I think dating in general can be psychologically draining, as much of the time a relationship wont end up working out. A response might lead to a date or meeting up, that might lead to a LTR or a short term thing that doesn't end up working out. I don't think anyone here is trying to imply its not psychologically draining.
Also it seems a lot of guys here say you have to send a bunch of short copy, paste messeges to have any chance of getting a response and a bunch of females here say they prefer more well thought out messages, and then the guys insist it can't work. It seems like women are seen as strange creatures that don't inhabit WP at all around here...considering how our opinions on what approaches from guys work better are disregarded much of the time, either that or most guys here are specifically interested in neurotypicals so don't want to hear what spectrum females think. I understand there are differences between males and females dating, but surely there are some similarities to.
I'm interested in liberty minded women. That's rare with women under 30 and even rarer for aspie women; hence why I usually only try to talk to women in their 30s; however I am transitioning at the moment. I have some college left to do and then I can buy a car and move out. Until then, there really isn't any point at all looking to date despite my loneliness. I just refuse to settle for a progressive while living in a progressive area.
I cant say I am quite familer with what liberty minded is...but I can certainly understand not looking to date despite loneliness due to not wanting to settle for types you don't find quite so appealing.
Pro-Constitution, Pro-Bill of Rights, Pro-States Rights, Pro-Gay marriage, Pro-Self defense, Pro-privacy, Pro-marajuana legalization and pro-industrial hemp legalization. Anti-UN, Anti-Eu, Anti-warrant-less spying, anti-taxation.
I live in Maryland, so yeah there's that.
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,051
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
So it's true, 90% of female users in Ashley Madison were fake (not advocating the site idea, but still funny).
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/men/relation ... y-men.html
So here we can assume there are 20m active men vs ~2500 active women (and some may still actually men in disguise).
That's like about 8000+ men for every woman. this is bigger than an Imperial Roman battalion.
Bad or not, Ashley Madison seemed to be a popular niche dating site, and despite that their owners didn't have any credibility.
I strongly believe that all dating sites do the same (surely hookup sites do it far more), they add fake female profiles just to balance numbers, so they can squeeze money from the bigger base: men. On okcupid I think the real ration is more like 10 to 1 (don't ever believe their sex ratio stats).
And they lie to their teeth about it. In reality, they are all sausage fests competing on few women.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/men/relation ... y-men.html
So here we can assume there are 20m active men vs ~2500 active women (and some may still actually men in disguise).
That's like about 8000+ men for every woman. this is bigger than an Imperial Roman battalion.
Bad or not, Ashley Madison seemed to be a popular niche dating site, and despite that their owners didn't have any credibility.
I strongly believe that all dating sites do the same (surely hookup sites do it far more), they add fake female profiles just to balance numbers, so they can squeeze money from the bigger base: men. On okcupid I think the real ration is more like 10 to 1 (don't ever believe their sex ratio stats).
And they lie to their teeth about it. In reality, they are all sausage fests competing on few women.
Most of the women on the sites are also stuck-up c**ts.
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,051
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
Similar Topics | |
---|---|
Dating Sites |
Yesterday, 10:58 am |
Any Good Totally Free Dating Sites? |
24 Nov 2024, 8:33 pm |
Mixed messages |
05 Oct 2024, 6:09 pm |
Opions on other forum sites |
01 Oct 2024, 11:45 am |