"You're such a sweet guy..."

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Kosmonaut
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28 May 2007, 4:38 am

calandale wrote:

The person that I know, who is most
classically 'nice' is very happily married.

yes, but you dont know what goes on behind closed doors.
he probably slaps her around just like any other man does to his wife.

BTW: you should keep yr post count at 6666 calandale - its a nice number

MrSinister
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28 May 2007, 7:40 am

rideforever wrote:

Maybe if I took the approach that I should be honest and make it clear I am looking for a physical relationship - then that is the difference. This way you imprint on the girl from the start as a sexual object and forever in her eyes that's what you will be.

Which presumably brings with it the distinct possibility that the girl in question will then view you as a shallow sexist pig who only sees women as sheathes for his manhood, and will then dismiss you as nothing but a club-wielding savage.

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shadexiii
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28 May 2007, 9:55 am

Todd489 wrote:

Apparently being a nice guy is very unattractive.

Well, just to let you all know, today I passed a homeless guy and I totally didn't give him any money.

*Waits to be surrounded by women who now think I'm awesome.*

Good first attempt, but I think you may need to go as far as robbing the homeless guy, or perhaps even hitting him. I don't think ignoring him is mean enough.

beautifulspam
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28 May 2007, 12:21 pm

Don't worry, they'll run around with the big apes until they start to get old and need someone to take care of them, then they'll let you marry them so that they can use your credit cards and live in your house for free without working.

Good deal eh.

pbcoll
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28 May 2007, 12:48 pm

shadexiii wrote:

DeepBlueLake wrote:

You're expected to show your intentions honestly from the beginning. And if that means getting shot down in front of a bar full of people, so be it. Women don't give themselves to a man who's scared of that. To us, the idea that you have to be combative and uncompromising with a potential lover seems crazy. Yet that's how nature designed it.

I'm sure many of us in this situation have thought we were being honest.

Also, there's some possibilities for why the guy might not be quite so direct right off the bat. Some might be concerned with the risk of losing a friend if the answer is no. That, and this basically means "If you already know the person, nothing can come of it. Period." Well, not all of us are happy with that rule. Maybe the guy realizes just how great of a person the girl is once he gets to know her, maybe he didn't have time for a relationship initially, but now he does. There's all sorts of reasons that a guy might not charge in head-first that aren't simply because he is a "coward."

I wouldn't date a woman I didn't know at least a little. Perhaps the solution to my problems is to convince total strangers that I'm a jerk and then I'll get all the women I want. This is why I wish there were a way of becoming asexual without side effects.

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El hombre es una bestia famélica, envidiosa e insaciable. (Francisco Tario)

I'm male by the way (yes, I know my avatar is misleading).

Remnant
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28 May 2007, 12:52 pm

beautifulspam wrote:

You hit it right on the head. And I have a female relative living with me who feels absolutely no obligation to return anything for the amount of money I spend on her. Some of the benefits that I don't receive, that's actually a mercy even if she were not a blood relative because that kind of entanglement just makes it worse. It actually makes a female worse when you get into that kind of thing because then she can make believe that you owe her everything that you give her. This is a real gender bias that actually exists.

Some of these people will turn a large income into a negative income. In my own case the deal is not quite so bad but I need to work out a better deal within a few months.

shadexiii
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28 May 2007, 1:33 pm

Remnant wrote:

In my own case the deal is not quite so bad but I need to work out a better deal within a few months.

Better deal: "Either you start contributing around here or you find somewhere else to stay."

Not something I'd be able to say easily, but, eh, I think that's the "right" solution.

calandale
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28 May 2007, 2:52 pm

Kosmonaut wrote:

calandale wrote:

The person that I know, who is most
classically 'nice' is very happily married.

yes, but you dont know what goes on behind closed doors.
he probably slaps her around just like any other man does to his wife.

BTW: you should keep yr post count at 6666 calandale - its a nice number

Pretty sure that he doesn't.

I actually noticed this one. But, spam
cannot take a break.

Remnant
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28 May 2007, 3:18 pm

shadexiii wrote:

Remnant wrote:

In my own case the deal is not quite so bad but I need to work out a better deal within a few months.

Better deal: "Either you start contributing around here or you find somewhere else to stay."

Not something I'd be able to say easily, but, eh, I think that's the "right" solution.

Trouble is, she is the one who has the say about that, not me. If she doesn't want to contribute and I take exception to that I have to leave.

shadexiii
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28 May 2007, 3:42 pm

Remnant wrote:

Trouble is, she is the one who has the say about that, not me. If she doesn't want to contribute and I take exception to that I have to leave.

Who pays the rent? If it is you, you have that say. If not....that....sucks? Sorry, I got nothing.

Remnant
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28 May 2007, 3:59 pm

shadexiii wrote:

Remnant wrote:

Trouble is, she is the one who has the say about that, not me. If she doesn't want to contribute and I take exception to that I have to leave.

Who pays the rent? If it is you, you have that say. If not....that....sucks? Sorry, I got nothing.

Well, this has gone beyond the scope of the topic anyway. The thing is, females will trap you. You're not necessarily getting lucky if you are having sex with someone who wouldn't have given you a second look. Some of the hard luck stories I've seen and been a part of tell me that there is definitely a strong tendency for one partner in a relationship to parasitize the other. Men will do it to, I should mention my stepfather. Some of these former cheerleaders have bad skin and teeth from meth use by the time the sensitive type gets to them, and you don't know which ones will be predatory or how they will do it.

calandale
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28 May 2007, 4:05 pm

probably want to avoid the meth users.

Remnant
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28 May 2007, 5:36 pm

calandale wrote:

probably want to avoid the meth users.

It's all becoming pretty equal these days, actually. Either a guy has to give it up because she's a meth user and needs her fix, or he has to give it up because she doesn't use drugs or alcohol and she's worth it. You're not getting cleaner with the latter, just less dirty.

calandale
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28 May 2007, 6:08 pm

Remnant wrote:

calandale wrote:

probably want to avoid the meth users.

Uhm, give what up? Money? You evaded the question of
whether you're living rent-free with her, which if it's the
case, maybe you rather should be paying.

Though, I can't really imagine living with someone,
and not sharing money anyhow. Like food, it seems
pretty unimportant.

Remnant
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28 May 2007, 7:41 pm

Calandale, I was more concerned about straying off the topic, and maybe I was ducking just a little.

Let's go to this thread.

Most of the story is there.

calandale
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28 May 2007, 7:45 pm

Ah, I see - it's complicated. Can you set up
so that your account has automatic withdrawls
into another fund? This would give you some
excuse as to why you can't give more.

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