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Older virgins, Do you feel like it will never happen

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idntonkw
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07 Sep 2020, 4:01 am

Pepe wrote:
idntonkw wrote:
Pepe wrote:
idntonkw wrote:
Pepe wrote:
idntonkw wrote:
Wolfram87 wrote:
While not "the same", it might help demystify sex and reduce your anxiety around it?


it won't demystify sex, and the anxiety will turn into alienation.. you will feel lonely and pathetic..


Your choice. <shrug>
To each their own.

De-mystifying sex put sex in perspective, for me.
I don't feel lonely nor pathetic.
I feel empowered. 8)


You basically pay for a chance to rap* some woman who is in that situation for dubious reasons.. she does 5-10 guys like you a day..


So, essentially, you are saying that anyone who sees a sex worker is a very bad person?


I suspect that yes, rap*ng someone just because they let you due to money being exchanged would make me a bad person..


So, are you saying: In your mind, anyone who had/has sex with a sex worker is a rap*ist?


Not at all, I don't think people go to a sex worker with the intention of rap*ng them, but the experience amounts to that, at least in my situation. There are probably many mutually beneficial arrangements between clients and sex workers, though.



Mountain Goat
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07 Sep 2020, 4:03 am

It often feels like it may never happen, but I stand in hope. (Stand in hope? I am kinda standing on a mat).


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magz
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07 Sep 2020, 4:04 am

idntonkw wrote:
magz wrote:
Several years ago, there was a scandal starring one of Polish euroMP. It was, I believe, in Netherlands, or some other place where prostitution is fully legal.
He raped a prostitute and was completely unprepared to be branded a criminal for it.

I'm theoretizing right now because of lack of personal experience but: apparently, the more legal prostitution is, the less rape-like engaging in it becomes.
A fully legal sex worker is likely to have chosen the profession voluntarily. They dictates their terms so intercourse with them - within the agreed rules - is not violation of their body.
It's different where prostitution is connected to mafia-controlled human trafficking.

That's why, despite not being interested in prostitution from any angle, I'm pro full legalization of it.

Yes, but then the mafia just forces the girls to legally work and give them the money..

Not if "the girls" can fully legally and safely turn to law enforcement for protection - unless, in a given location, mafia is stronger than law enforcement - but that means you're living in a generally dangerous place.


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07 Sep 2020, 7:14 am

magz wrote:
Several years ago, there was a scandal starring one of Polish euroMP. It was, I believe, in Netherlands, or some other place where prostitution is fully legal.
He raped a prostitute and was completely unprepared to be branded a criminal for it.

I'm theoretizing right now because of lack of personal experience but: apparently, the more legal prostitution is, the less rape-like engaging in it becomes.
A fully legal sex worker is likely to have chosen the profession voluntarily. They dictates their terms so intercourse with them - within the agreed rules - is not violation of their body.
It's different where prostitution is connected to mafia-controlled human trafficking.

That's why, despite not being interested in prostitution from any angle, I'm pro full legalization of it.


Agreed. The ones I've been to certainly seemed happy with what they were doing and sometimes openly admit they prefer the job over being stuck in an office. Some browse youtube and chat on facebook, others just like talking about peculiar stuff like I described many pages ago. Talking about your favourite level in Borderlands is not the sign of someone who is forced into the trade along with browsing music videos and mooching on Facebook sending cat pictures to friends.

The reality is that when prostitution is legal then it all comes into the open and doing shady stuff becomes much harder to do. Not only that but the illegal brothels who need to keep a very low profile need to compete with the legal ones and independants who can advertise as much as they like which will never end well for people who need to keep a low profile. I don't think I have ever seen someone who gave the vibe they were forced into it.



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07 Sep 2020, 3:31 pm

idntonkw wrote:
Not at all, I don't think people go to a sex worker with the intention of rap*ng them, but the experience amounts to that, at least in my situation. There are probably many mutually beneficial arrangements between clients and sex workers, though.

I don't mean to pry, but I am reading this as you admitting to having negative experiences at a sex worker which you would compare to rape, possibly due to the level of coercion involved. If so, then that explains your views on the matter, and you have my full sympathies. I'm very sorry that something like that happened to you, and it is understandable that you would be sceptical about the true amount of consent involved in sex work.

That said, I have read accounts by people who say - maybe this isn't perfect, but it suits me better than any other job, and I don't consider myself a victim - and I don't feel like I'm in a position to challenge that. I want people who feel like they have been raped to be able to confidently report their rapist to the police without fear that they'll be arrested. I want people who want to make a living that way to be able to do so. I feel like it's probably easiest to protect victims if they're not viewed as criminals.



idntonkw
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09 Sep 2020, 10:49 pm

The_Walrus wrote:
idntonkw wrote:
Not at all, I don't think people go to a sex worker with the intention of rap*ng them, but the experience amounts to that, at least in my situation. There are probably many mutually beneficial arrangements between clients and sex workers, though.

I don't mean to pry, but I am reading this as you admitting to having negative experiences at a sex worker which you would compare to rape, possibly due to the level of coercion involved. If so, then that explains your views on the matter, and you have my full sympathies. I'm very sorry that something like that happened to you, and it is understandable that you would be sceptical about the true amount of consent involved in sex work.

That said, I have read accounts by people who say - maybe this isn't perfect, but it suits me better than any other job, and I don't consider myself a victim - and I don't feel like I'm in a position to challenge that. I want people who feel like they have been raped to be able to confidently report their rapist to the police without fear that they'll be arrested. I want people who want to make a living that way to be able to do so. I feel like it's probably easiest to protect victims if they're not viewed as criminals.


Well basically, chances of you being able to find a happy and willing escort are small.. they have to do it A LOT to make a living.. so it becomes rather cynical and automatic for them.. it's just a weird exchange.. it won't leave you happy.. rather you will get more alienated from people.. you are better off saving your sexual energy..



idntonkw
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09 Sep 2020, 10:56 pm

Nades wrote:
magz wrote:
Several years ago, there was a scandal starring one of Polish euroMP. It was, I believe, in Netherlands, or some other place where prostitution is fully legal.
He raped a prostitute and was completely unprepared to be branded a criminal for it.

I'm theoretizing right now because of lack of personal experience but: apparently, the more legal prostitution is, the less rape-like engaging in it becomes.
A fully legal sex worker is likely to have chosen the profession voluntarily. They dictates their terms so intercourse with them - within the agreed rules - is not violation of their body.
It's different where prostitution is connected to mafia-controlled human trafficking.

That's why, despite not being interested in prostitution from any angle, I'm pro full legalization of it.


Agreed. The ones I've been to certainly seemed happy with what they were doing and sometimes openly admit they prefer the job over being stuck in an office. Some browse youtube and chat on facebook, others just like talking about peculiar stuff like I described many pages ago. Talking about your favourite level in Borderlands is not the sign of someone who is forced into the trade along with browsing music videos and mooching on Facebook sending cat pictures to friends.

The reality is that when prostitution is legal then it all comes into the open and doing shady stuff becomes much harder to do. Not only that but the illegal brothels who need to keep a very low profile need to compete with the legal ones and independants who can advertise as much as they like which will never end well for people who need to keep a low profile. I don't think I have ever seen someone who gave the vibe they were forced into it.


Well I believe some and perhaps many women get turned on by the idea that someone would pay to have sex with them.. and like the idea of just sex with different partners.. and being a prostitute out of choice may actually turn them on in a way.. can be fun in a way too interacting and having contact with different men.. but the work arrangement is just stacked against women.. there is no hourly pay, no health insurance, etc.. and the majority of women get somehow forced/mistreated into this, and many of the women may convince themselves they chose it and like it, but really most women would not. Again, paying for sex changes your personality in a bad way, and thinking that having sex with a prostitute/escort or stripper is a good release or a learning experience is naive to think. Like I said, taking a girl out on a date and paying for a meal is totally different than paying someone cash to have sex with you.. it's like comparing your mom or your grandmother cooking and serving you food to a paid waitress/waiter and chef at a restaurant.



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09 Sep 2020, 10:59 pm

idntonkw wrote:
you are better off saving your sexual energy..

for what? what if there is nothing to save it for? the mystery is a killer. by the time i was finally given a chance [in late middle age], it didn't even phuqing work anymore!! :wall:



idntonkw
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10 Sep 2020, 12:31 am

auntblabby wrote:
idntonkw wrote:
you are better off saving your sexual energy..

for what? what if there is nothing to save it for? the mystery is a killer. by the time i was finally given a chance [in late middle age], it didn't even phuqing work anymore!! :wall:


I get it the physical sensation of being on top of a woman and penetration I guess that is the mystery and could be fun and pleasant.. sorry that happened to you.. I am almost in the same situation moving toward middle age..

I meant saving sexual energy for little things like conversation and daily interactions with women like at the check out counter for example?



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10 Sep 2020, 12:37 am

idntonkw wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
idntonkw wrote:
you are better off saving your sexual energy..

for what? what if there is nothing to save it for? the mystery is a killer. by the time i was finally given a chance [in late middle age], it didn't even phuqing work anymore!! :wall:


I get it the physical sensation of being on top of a woman and penetration I guess that is the mystery and could be fun and pleasant.. sorry that happened to you.. I am almost in the same situation moving toward middle age..

I meant saving sexual energy for little things like conversation and daily interactions with women like at the check out counter for example?

that for me is largely futile also as i am seen as a creep. it is a wonder that i was not sacked when i worked in the hospital L & D around all those women, i think the man upstairs gave me some dispensation.



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10 Sep 2020, 2:30 am

auntblabby wrote:
idntonkw wrote:
you are better off saving your sexual energy..

for what? what if there is nothing to save it for? the mystery is a killer. by the time i was finally given a chance [in late middle age], it didn't even phuqing work anymore!! :wall:



Ahhhhm,
Sorry, no "spoiler". :silent: 8O



Last edited by Pepe on 10 Sep 2020, 3:22 am, edited 1 time in total.

Pepe
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10 Sep 2020, 2:33 am

idntonkw wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
idntonkw wrote:
you are better off saving your sexual energy..

for what? what if there is nothing to save it for? the mystery is a killer. by the time i was finally given a chance [in late middle age], it didn't even phuqing work anymore!! :wall:


I get it the physical sensation of being on top of a woman and penetration I guess that is the mystery and could be fun and pleasant.. sorry that happened to you.. I am almost in the same situation moving toward middle age..

I meant saving sexual energy for little things like conversation and daily interactions with women like at the check out counter for example?


You do realise that what you are saying, overall, is overwhelmingly out of kilter with western mainstream societies, right? :scratch:



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10 Sep 2020, 7:52 am

auntblabby wrote:
idntonkw wrote:
you are better off saving your sexual energy..

for what? what if there is nothing to save it for? the mystery is a killer. by the time i was finally given a chance [in late middle age], it didn't even phuqing work anymore!! :wall:


If you stop fapping you may get a 145% increase of T on the 7th day.



Pepe
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10 Sep 2020, 8:34 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
idntonkw wrote:
you are better off saving your sexual energy..

for what? what if there is nothing to save it for? the mystery is a killer. by the time i was finally given a chance [in late middle age], it didn't even phuqing work anymore!! :wall:


If you stop fapping you may get a 145% increase of T on the 7th day.


Yeah, Auntie,
Stop flogging the monkey, FFS. :mrgreen:



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26 Feb 2021, 1:25 am

i feel its appropriate i post this link here, but my heart goes out to this man, i empathize with him a lot:
https://www.bbc.com/news/stories-43956366



binstein
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05 Mar 2021, 8:59 am

After seeing that prostitution was discussed here.....