Older women and younger men?

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I noticed that stagnation in someone's life often effects older people more. After a certain length of time of just drifting through life, be it unemployed or just minimum wage part time work an individual no longer seems to strive for anything more and just let's themselves go. It's a lot easier poking and prodding a long term unemployed 20 year old to find a job and get their life on track than is a 30 year old. If you are with a 30 year old like that you can guarantee every responsibility regardless of how small will rest on your shoulders.


There are always exceptions to the rule and often a lot of them but from my experience at dealing with people on a more romantic level, it appears to be the case. This is why I prefer younger women.

Informed consent is important between age gap partners too.

What I mean is, the age of consent is pretty much a compromise. We adults might not like to think about it but if we have honest memories, we know that a lot of 15 yos have sex drives & will be at each other unless closely monitored. So making 16 the age of consent means that police can be left to investigate actual rapes and cases where for eg little kids are at it - which can be a sign of abuse, after all why would they naturally even know what to do unless exposed to (at best) porn?

But not every 16 yo is street smart enough to know the likely implications of sleeping with their mother's friend.

Not every 18 yo is selfless/street smart enough to care about the lecturer who will get sacked (but not arrested) if they sleep with her. Or strong enough to resist such advances when it comes to 'I'll give you good grades if you...'

The age of consent is where it is because 1 at some point, likely in their 20s, those young people will likely be mature enough for large age gap relationships/to know you're meant to turn certain stuff down because of the social costs 2 some of the 18 yos are probably mature enough to be dating third years and have a 3 year gap 3 the assumption is that there isn't going to be a massive age gap relationship at first - and it's reasonable to assume that the average 16 yo understands 'don't have unprotected sex without expecting STDs and/or pregnancy'

I mean (maybe poor example cos I'm autistic, but I don't think it is) when I was 16, most of the 30+ yo people I knew were either teachers or family friends. I didn't have friends and acquaintances that age. By the time I was 22, I did have friends/peers in their 40s. I met them at uni and through work. There's a difference between an age gap between two colleagues or two students in the same seminar group and an age gap between a teacher and student or someone who knew the younger one when they knew Santa and someone who's now 'all grown up'.

To me, even now, I wouldn't date one of mum's friends who I grew up with. They're like aunties to me. I find some 50 yo women attractive but I don't find any of those particular women attractive - not because they're ugly but because they feel like family. They helped bring me up and I played with their kids.

I think the moderators here made it clear that discussing consent was not ok, and so I will not further involve in this. Particularly not in the context of how important consent is for NTs while at the same time knowing how this can & is abused towards NDs. It's also pretty clear to me that consent & people being forced to use dating to pursue relationships are linked, and if those things cannot be questioned & discussed, I will not bother with this discussion at all.

1. The posts have been removed for being an off-topic flame;
2. You seem to use the word "consent" in a meaning different form the standard meaning of the word;
3. If you want to present "empirical data about asexuality & gender", create a separate thread and post links to peer-reviewed articles.

I’m lost in the thread, what are people talking about?

I had no idea I was on a scientific congress presenting peer-reviewed research. Maybe you can care to present evidence for the position that asexuality in autism actually is real and based on no sex drive? I've read a lot of this research myself, and many researchers actually dispute that a high amount of autistic people are asexual, while the state of peer-reviewed research is that it is more common in that group. So, it's very much a contested area in autism research circles, while here it appears like it is a settled issue.

I strongly suspect the age of consent can't be questioned in terms of 'opening it up', no.

That's a good thing.

Just gonna be blunt with you, you're coming across as a creep.

Informed consent makes things better for (stop saying NDs ffs that is so broad and includes psychopaths) young autistic people & SLD people of all ages & old people with senile dementia. They shouldn't be having sex until/unless they understand the risks!

If you want to discuss it, create a separate thread. Any other post on it in this thread will be removed.
Bear in mind that implying that people choose their sexuality feels really triggering to those who experienced attempts of forcing them to "change their minds".

With the understanding that age differences in relationships, in general, are relevant to this thread, I'd like to point out that Jill Biden married Joe Biden who was 9 years older when she was 24 and separated from her first husband. That marriage seemed to succeed.

No
And don't even try to think why just no no no.

Well my position is reversed older man with younger wife.She is very strong willed and has been a big help as having autism+dd really need the support.

Yeah, 9 years isn't much when you have already got established in life.

Thank's.

Someone mentioned above that the people people of different ages they know are teachers or others one shouldn't become involved with. As someone in the arts, I can say my experience is quite different. If you're an actor, musician, dancer, painter, writer, etc, you may find yourself with peers and friends who are of vastly different ages. My own friends and peers range in age from 20 to 75...because we have worked on projects together as equals, regardless of age. This vastly increases the likelihood of legitimate age-gap relationships developing.