The Joys of Being Single

Post Reply New Topic

Some great things about being single:

-Vacations alone. Getting to know a place before choosing to share it with someone. Having your own schedule.
-Birthdays and holidays without drama. No gifts as punishment. Treating yourself was you want to be treated.
-Learning about yourself.
-Finding peace with yourself. No expectation to be who you're not.

you don't have to be on anybody else's wavelength is about the only benefit, other than being able to walk around in one's birthday suit all day and set the thermostat whatever you want it to be [usually on the cool side] and drinking out of the bottle, and being able to be a slob and not offend anybody. dressing how one wants to dress without worrying about what the other person thinks.

Haven't been on WP for quite a while, I get to random read on all forums and I found this... Never ever have I thought even for a second I'd post under the "Love and Dating", but here we are.

I may be young, inexperienced in life and all that blah blah blah, but here's the thing, for changing reasons, I always wanted to remain single, and so far, so have been. I've never had a partner of any kind, not romantic, not sexual, just none, and that happens to be the perfect one.

Most marriages I know are "dysfunctional" at best were husband and wife live together, watch TV in different rooms, have absolutely nothing in common, display no attraction to each other at all, sporadically argue about something stupid, but for some reason share a bed. How is that "happiness"?? Then I know a couple of marriages that either are or already have wrecked one of the members of it, while divorce isn't even contemplated as an option. Worst even, in one of them the wrecked individual has enough to live by him/herself and needs nothing from the spouse, but still decides to stay there... WHY???????
I'll admit, I also happen to know a few marriages that seem to work great, then another one which is just odd. And finally one were thanks to one spouse pushing the other they managed to get GREAT things, a prime example of teamwork (sort of, I wouldn't last like they do as I think one is a bit dominant over the other, typical male ask, female gives and does chores, but whatever). Looks like finding a good partner is like playing Russian roulette, with 5 bullets out of 6 possible, having a good marriage... like winning the lottery 3 times in a row.

But even with young couples starting out or recently married... I still see no reason. They complain about the "other half". They have their agenda full with the other person, no time to spare for anything. Most people I know from the airfield, the 3D Printer forum and similar "hobby" places complains about a partner being intrusive, limiting them or both. Even here in WP the Love and dating forum is worryingly dark and sad (granted, fewer would start a topic to talk about how great everything is but still, more negativism than positivism, or at least that's what I gather).

But regardless, and with the notable exception of the one marriage mentioned above, I don't think people is happier than regular single counterparts when their relationship is working well but, when it doesn't or breaks... they really get blue, anxious... anything but pretty.

With all of this, I can't help but think that everyone is trying to find someone to make them happy when in reality... the only one that can do it is yourself. I guess is easier to believe the classic Hollywood fairytale of the american dream (house, spouse, kids) and expect someone else to fix your emotions for you like magic (which will happens... for a while then is back to earth and bye bye pink clouds). In my opinion, it's all bull crap on the mud on a rainy day, an unrealistic, delusional expectation. I believe that your happiness will come from yourself alone and no one else. IF you are happy or going through a rough patch, a partner might help, maybe help a lot, but not carry your life. You should consider WHY someone would be interested in you if you have nothing to give to them emotionally or are depressed (that would be like buying a huge problem).

On a more personal note, I'm doing fine-ish by myself, I don't carve a relationship and while I'm not dumb enough to not see how I could be helped in a million ways, and over time becoming more mature, more complete and more better, I'm not delusional, and I understand that's not how it works. I like stability, I like no depending on someone else, I like having no plans for the Sunday, I like having a 3D printer in my room just because I can and I like to spend 18 hours doing some useless research or project for the sake of it.
Relationships require time, space, energy, commitment... If they can't pay you back enough is always going to crumble, I don't see any possible scenario were it would be worth it for me, so out of the question it goes. I don't think this applies to everyone but I'll bet many MANY people would be better off if they were a bit more like me, single and appreciating what they have.
Goes without saying but if this is what I think of a relationship... imagine having a family... that to me sounds like moving to Mordor for the next 30 years or more.

I still live with my (profoundly annoying) parents, thankfully I got my own room and yes... a bit more solitude would be welcome, I just like solitude. I've been told a billion times to get a girlfriend, or how I will 1000% undoubtedly definitely desperately need one, first "when you get a bit older" and now that I'm in my mid 20s "in the future when you live alone because you'll miss company", but just like they've been wrong in the past, grown "a bit older" and still didn't care about love, something tells me (actually screams) they are wrong again.

Well and that's it, just some random thoughts of mine. My mind is messy and I couldn't be bothered to order and properly redact the thing so sorry if comes horrid for lecture.

Soooooooooooo...... Like stashing in the bin a bunch of thousands every few years? Sorry but this always gets me. OLD CARS ARE NOT MORDOR!! !! ! Just get a good one, fix it properly DON'T BE CHEAP, and bum, you have a car as reliable as your new car for 1/4 or less the price and far far far less depreciation. There you go, bunch of money saved.

I do fix my cars myself, I'm not a mechanic but sure I do try, fail, try, fail, try, and fail again but here I am, with new suspension, brakes, timing belt, spark plugs, filters (all) and some electrical repairs done for less than 500 euros. I get it, in a shop it would be far more expensive but still worth it, I'm sure. Most old cars are unreliable because cheap / bad repairs and inadequate maintenance. I'm tired to see people not fixing an engine mount just because "a little vibration doesn't matter" and then crying when some pipes start leaking like crazy. Maintain it properly!! ! Any car is a complicated machine that needs to operate as designed, minor faults often cause bigger ones, don't be careless, do your research and get a known good reliable model and you'll be fine.

Also, my 2nd car is nearly 30 years old, a future classic for sure, and no, I'm not expecting it to be reliable to any extend. I may love no woman but sure I do love my 4 wheeled bolt bucket

welcome to our club, spacemartian

i can tell you that having a congenial mate makes life a LOT easier. in oh so many ways.

I'd say has the potential to make your life easier. The complete opposite is also true.
With the rigt data you may be able to calculate odds but I doubt there's any actual reliable data on the topic (I don't care for stupid online/street surveys), that considers ASD (let's be honest, the regular NT is a billion times better than most of us detecting predators, buffons and liers which will impact the odds of getting an enemy as your partner). Either way I don't think statistics would be all that much encouraging.

i discovered two things that simplify the weeding-out process- the chinese horoscope and basic synastry, with either astrology or with numerology. had i listened to my numerological calculations on the last one, i'd have been likely spared some drama.

I've never much cared for the singe life.

Money is not an issue for me.

I certainly can't say the same...

i believe it will get better for you, in time. but that's the rub.

I'm sure no partner can fit into my chaotic schedule.
That was torture for everyone.