67 and never had a gf

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Having a steady g/f doesn't mean unlimited sex. Most married men or men having a steady g/f or fiancé masturbate > sex

I know it's hard but remember that everyone has something that is burdening them. It's part of being human that we don't get what we need when we need it and we have to make the best of it. And you still have time.

I was 35 when I got married. But I had 2 decades to practice from the time I was a teenager. Like anything you need to practice your social skills Jamesy. Don't expect things just because your brother makes getting women look easy. I am sure he had to develop his social skills too.

What? My brother struggles to get a girlfriend as well. He’s only ever had one proper relationship and that was back in 2012

I thought you said your brother has one night stands?

I never recall saying that

Oh ok? I am sure you compared yourself to your brother before??

Did you ask him if he wanted a GF.

another angry irritating reminder

I truly want to say that there is nothing wrong with men (or women) going their entire lives without ever having dated, no one should be shamed for this.

And yet, I cannot deny my own self-hatred for being 40 and only ever having been a rebound boyfriend, never once has a woman I have asked out said “yes”. I know I’m the problem, I identify as an “incel” but I blame or hate no one but myself. It’s my fault that I can’t attract women to save my life, no one else’s. But sadly, so many men like me blame everyone but themselves and some become violent. It’s tragic and needs to stop!!

I tried dating again recently but it was more of the same. After what must have been more than 20 more rejections to add to the hundreds, I’ve had enough. I don’t want this anymore, this last time brought me within seconds of stabbing myself in the jugular with a knife just so the pain would finally end. I want this romantic and sexual desire gone, but short of castrating myself, I don’t know how to make it go away and I can’t say that option is not on the table…

This situation can be extraordinarily painful for those who live this long without ever having a romantic relationship despite wanting one.

Eventually your body’s production of testosterone will decrease, leading to less sexual desire. That is why we have all of those viagra ads and commercials. It will likely start to happen to you within a decade.

As for the romantic desire, that will likely always be there. My suggestion is to try to distract yourself from thinking about it. If you are too busy to contemplate life, it will pass you by much faster than pondering “what if?”. I spend my time with many research projects.

It is painful regardless on what route you take. Life tends to be that way. I wish I had an easy, painless solution for you, but I have never found one. Death is not a solution, as it causes others to grieve.

What about depo-provera?

I have taken up writing fiction and posting my entries on another forum, and am slowly building a small fanbase. That is very exciting, the act of writing itself distracts me from everything else. I believe that kind of validation is replacing the romantic and sexual validation I never got. But, self-validation is what I, and everyone, need the most. I am going to look into that.

As for death, I have recently read that when someone takes their own life, an average of seven people are affected by it, that is a staggering number. I believe I will just keep my suffering to myself, I don’t want to cause anyone else to feel the kind of pain that I do.

reminds me of someone from the series Love on the Spectrum, but i don't think i should say his name again

Heh. That’s going to be me in 37 years. I bet I can even top it one day.

came across another brutal harsh reminder, i've discussed him before, a black with with autism from Chicago, whom i'm in contact with, can't help but feel sorry for him because of a traumatic experience that happend to him while he was in college, since i didn't witness anything he did, i wasn't there, its hard for me to assess what he did wrong, plus, i can still be kind of awkward socially but i know i have never done anything badly socially like he has, he told me he received a restraining order from a girl and her guy friends back when he was in college.

He goes to autism meet up groups once a month, he told me that one of the members of his autism meetup groups, is another black guy who is 40 and never had a girlfriend before.

When i heard that, i got both depressed and angry, resentful, because its another reminder of what happens to men more than women.