0_equals_true wrote:
zee wrote:
Many people believe Hitler hated Jews so much because he was part Jew himself. I think the same can be said of Tim and NTs. Now I don't mean this as an insult in any way--I don't think there's anything wrong with being NT--but Tim strikes me as being one of the most NT-type people on this forum. None of his problems seem to relate directly to being AS. (And I've noticed in my 6 months here that he never replies to any AS-related threads). It's one thing for Aspies to have preferences regarding their partner's habits and lifestyle, for instance in the way that they will be overstimulating your sensory system, if there are communication issues, or if they are too nervous or overbearing. But none of Tim's criteria fit any of these issues, and moreover, none of them relate to him having justifiable special needs. Ie, how can it be an issue if her breasts are not a certain size, or if she doesn't like a certain TV show? It seems totally arbitraty.
What makes you think you can make an armchair diagnosis of Tim? It has nothing to do with Hitler or Jews either.
It may be arbitrary but the fact that he has made this unrealistic list if anything supports the fact that he could have trouble understanding relationships.
About preferences: I think I explained my view to you before. All individuals have preferences in including Aspies, this is not necessarily related to the condition, and it makes no difference whether they are male or female.
zee wrote:
What really bothers me about Tim's posts is that he is always saying that Aspies are the only ones who will put up with him. In other words, he doesn't think he's good enough for NTs, but Aspie women will settle for him, and put up with all his garbage because they are a lower form of life. Maybe he doesn't even realize he's saying it, but that is definately the message that I'm getting. Well, I have news for you, Aspie women have certain standards and preferences, just like NT women do. Moreover, just because you're an Aspie, doesn't mean you have a certain type of personality. We all have different tastes, beliefs, and lifestyles; to assume that someone will be compatible with you just because they're AS is presumptuous in the extreme. If we are going to make generalizations, then let's make them about gender: no women, Aspie or NT, are attracted to insecure guys who don't even like themselves.
Why let it bother you? Like I said he is entitled to his preferences however unrealistic they are. Yes he may be short sighted and shallow, but he is a dam sight more polite about it than some of the more bitter posts around. Preference is not just exclusive to women, and we men are not all concerned with “what vagina you're looking for” as you put it. I realise that was in a joke post but you have insinuated as much before.
Your last sentence pretty much says it all, you make the generalisations too.
I wasn't comparing Tim to Hitler, I was just saying that people tend to hate things in others that they see in themselves. That's elementary psychology, not an armchair diagnosis.
Yes, Tim is allowed to voice his opinions, and so am I. And that's what I did.
I don't find anything offensive about "bitter posts": I take no offense to people like Dinko, Dishman, La Petit Prince, pcboll, you, etc. because you don't insult me. No matter how much I disagree with what they say, it's still their opinion, their frustration, etc. We have a heated debate, we disagree, but at the same time it's productive to find out what others truly feel, and it's therapeutic to vent your frustrations.
But I do take offense to certain posts (by Tim and others) which imply that Aspie women are 'easy', that we have no standards or preferences of our own, that we're not worth the effort that NT women are. This is a direct insult. It does not matter how polite Tim (or others) are in their wording, or how blunt I or the others sound in the words we choose, it's the underlying message that counts.
19 Feb 2008, 1:02 am
