Nice Guys and Love, what's your take on the issue

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Didn't think so princess. Some people just like vanilla. Just make sure it is French

Call me a princess again and I'll kick you in your testes.

I'm not!

Last edited by BPalmer on 16 Sep 2008, 7:04 am, edited 1 time in total.

Tell me to just be myself and I'll stop talking to you.

Tell me to just be myself, and I'll start talking to you.

Then you'll really be sorry.

Well, you should not try to be someone else. But at the same time, just being yourself and waiting for love to come along is not enough if you're a guy. I have no reason at all to believe that God "hooks us up." If you look at some of the other members here, you will see that waiting around for it will accomplish nothing.

I just wish I knew where to start looking, and what I would have to accomplish first. The people where I live are so shallow and have really misguided ideas about relationships, as evidenced by the high divorce rate.

The problem is with he phrase "just be yourself". It is misleading.

If you want a relationship then wanting a relationship is part of being yourself, as are most of your actions.

It is best to find what you don't like about your life and work on changing them.

If you do this without being cynical (unless that is your true character), then you are effectively being yourself.

If you look at some other animals like wolves. There aren’t many couples. The alpha male will not tolerate anyone breading with his females. But humans are highly individual, and that give us more chance of finding a mate I would say, not that it is perfectly easy.

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt71801.html

...and still disagree with the premise. Being yourself, in my mind, is the only way to create a lasting relationship. That doesn't mean to stay stagnant, or to fill yourself with the false premise that you are flawless. We are the only ones who can instigate and maintain change in ourselves, but only if we are doing it for a reason that cannot be denied - and most often, that is only ourselves. To create facades, to invent pieces to suit another, are destined for eventual collapse.


M.

and you still can't get it and it seems that you are unable to get it , 'improve yourself' doesn't equate to fake yourself.

No, apparently you aren't getting it. Improving one's self is essential; faking it is a travesty. Being yourself means being true to that which is inside you, including those things that are changing, and not apologizing for it, not attempting to fit your needs around the needs of others. If you can't figure that out - that's on you. I'm comfortable with my understanding of what is important in my life for relationships to be successful.


M.

I improved myself by going to a gym, even working out at home, practiced conversing with other human beings, giving myself social training, pushing myself past my social limits, and holding onto life like a pit bull holds onto a person's ankle.

I'm still seeking to improve myself. It's not a goal where you get there and congratulate yourself, and then sit your ass on the couch and not give a damn anymore. It's an obstacle course that never ends as long as you live.

A wise man once said... "Don't be yourself, be your best self."

|-o-| V4der |-o-|

It's as evolutionary as why men like cute girls.

women go for the toughie because it is a sing that she will be protected. It is only recently than women have not had to fear some guy would take her off with the plunder and spoils of war.

It's just a purely evolutionary thing.

But nice guys that are also strong finish first evey single time.

For the record, I do not subscribe to this and I do not look for a toughie. I look for nice.

*sigh* Guess that rules me out.

|-o-| V4der |-o-|

I had an NT friend who told me it was a give and take thing; if you only gave, she wouldn't have any respect for you, if you only took, you didn't have any respect for her. I'm no master at the game, but I'm not such a giver anymore.

Anthropologists have determined that human sexual instincts have remained unchanged for the last 1 Million years.
Back in prehistoric times women needed protection and strong, athletic guys were the ones who's genes promoted survival.
But that was a Long time ago and humans have advanced socially and technologically to the point where there is increasingly less need for strong, thuggish men. Such traits are to be found in men who are down near the bottom of the socio-economic period except for the few that make it into professional sports-and pro athletes are really just entertainers. The men in this world with the highest status and wealth are NOT the strongest! And yet womens instinctive desire for thuggish men still lingers.