would you like to have amazing success with women?

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alex keep them coming man. never mind the nay sayers.

Actually, for actual sex the price will run you up into 4 figures(for any reputable service.) Just to get an escort to a social function is like 500$, although they typically charge an hourly rate.

i heard that a heroin addicted hiv positive woman with colonies of herpes virus and bacterial infections in the back of her mouth (from the semen) will cost u only $20. some girls as young as teenagers are addicted to heroin and coke, so u can find a good looking one too. who would enjoy having sex with a sexually exploited woman? n o b o d y.

check.

Unless, of course, by "sex with women", you mean "sexually denigrating women"... I don't go for that...

Yeah, I didn't like the way that post looked either. But he may have meant well though. We aspies tend to misconstrue motives behind some posts.

It's not about using sexually exploited women for gratification. Its about the men for whom there is no available partner being able to satisfy necessary urges that our present stifling society is not allowing them to do. Prostitution needs to be legalized so it can become a regulated, sanitary industry, instead of the unregulated crime/diesease vector it presently is. People are going to pay for sex anyway if it is legal or not, so why not just bring it out in the open so you can put some health and safety measures in place for the working girls? The reason that these girls are sick, at the mercy of pimps, and found dead in the gutter is because the industry has been shamed and driven underground. Prostitution is a hotbed of crime that it does not have to be. But the religious-right in all of its infinite wisdom has made sex shameful and refuses to even allow the discussion of sex-education in schools(at the risk of losing federal funding.)

If whorehouses were regulated like strip-clubs are, men who needed gratification could just go and take care of business, and there could be actual standards in place to safeguard health instead of the russian-roulette chances in black-market prostitution. Contrary to what the Moral-majority wants you to believe, people are going to have sex and will go to any length to satisfy that need. The bottom 25% of single guys who have no available partner will have to find some outlet for their frustration. Teaching abstainence is an enormous joke that no one takes seriously, so lets just get condoms, birth-control, and safe sex out in the open. The religious right, implementing a faith based mandate, thinks that by teaching abstainence and nothing else about sex education in the schools that people will make the "right choice" and not have sex. The fact is that people can not control their urges and will have sex anyway, so lets put the necessary institutions out there with hygenic standards for those purposes.

And I am not talking about finding random girls to pay for sex. I am talking about high-class girls from the escort services, not the Craigslist trash.

Yeah, all of that would be perfect. Then us aspie guys wouldn't have to suffer like we do. I know we wouldn't suffer so much if we just try but a lot of people including members on this site take for granted that some aspie guys are just not capable of succeeded no matter what advice anyone gives. Dating or even finding sex is a game and like all games, some are just better at it than others. Some of us have circumstances beyond our control that may keep us from ever finding love or even one night stands.

It is said in different forms but all the dating advice on this forum means the same thing: Go out and try. Like we all can up and do it. It takes time and sometimes therapy to be able to do that, not to mention other circumstances like lack of transportation or finances.

Face it people, WE ARE NOT NEUROTYPICALS!! !! ! I don't know about the rest of you but I'm sick of having to pretend to be something I'm not. It didn't work for me anyway in the years of my life I wasted trying. End rant.

Not to say that we can't do what they can do but the cold hard truth is that we need more than someone telling us to get out and try in order to succeed.

+ 1

Eh, maybe I flew off the handle there a bit. I get so angry because I hear all this advice about getting out there when I have this problem of being stuck in the middle of nowhere. I would get out there if there were somewhere to go around here.

Anyway, don't mind me......

SocialPhantom: You are completely right and you hit the nail on the head. With AS, you are practically guaranteed to struggle socially, which will do immense damage to your prospects of romance. And without money or transportation(as many AS guys do not have these things,) your world becomes very small and your chances to date girls become limited. You have to have finances, first of all, because girls expect to be treated on dates and girls expect guys to buy them gifts. Women look for men who can afford to give them the good life and make them financially secure. Women stay away from poor guys; it isn't like in the movies where the young couple "lives on love." Young girls prefer a rich older man to a penniless guy in his 20's. It doesn't work like those nauseating Disney songs where the penniless artist sings, "I don't have much money, but I do have undying love for you." Girls want an absolute provider, first and foremost, which means you have to get a really good job and be able to hold it and be promoteable. The age and physical appearance of that provider is virtually irrelevant, as long as he has ready cash.

To prove this, I quote the phenomenon of what happened after President Benjamin Harrison legislated the massive pensions for Civil War veterans. 16 year old girls rushed out to marry 80 year old guys with abandon just to get their hands on those checks. In fact, the last Civil War widow died just two years ago.

And of course you have to be able to provide transportation. For HighSchool girls, the primary dating criterion is having "wheels" and enough funds to be able to treat them to simple dates. College girls and older women expect their dates to have a reliable ride, be employed in a decent occupation and be socially mobile(ability to get promoted at work,) and live independently. Sorry guys who live with mommy and daddy. In addition to being an independently living provider, you have to be sufficiently interesting enough as a person to captivate them. You have to have sort of a novel personality in order to keep them in your fold. You have to have friends and weekend activities to keep them entertained(girls don't want to sit around and watch you play video games.) You have to keep taking them out places and hanging out with your and her friends.

So lets review: You need

A. Money
B. A reliable Vehicle
C. Living away from parents
D. A Unique personality and a unique yet conforming sense of style(could be to some smaller sub-group, such as punk, prep, or goth, as long as you are part of some group; Even though these people are merely conforming to being non-conformists.)
E. Good social skills
F. Friends and a decent social network.
G. Employment in a decent occupation with prospects of getting promoted.
H. Optimistic outlook on life and a positive bearing(how you carry yourself.)
I. Ability and willingness to cover your girlfriend financially when she has an "emergency."
J. Involvement in some kind of social extracurricular activitiy
K. Assertiveness and the ability to make her laugh

It is not enough just to tell a guy with AS to, "go try harder." That advice is useless in the first place and it has already been processed 1000 times. Trying harder guarantees no results unless you are able to learn what you are doing wrong and satisfy the necessary criteria to make the right changes. Then again, changing your life in such a drastic way to be able to meet the needs of women in our society almost doesn't even seem worthwhile sometimes. I myself have "tried hard" my whole life and have gotten nowhere. You need to get on track with a paying career, build a social-network, become an optimistic person, and develop a real personality. It almost seems like too much ever to acheive. I prefer just to make moderate changes and wait a little longer for a person more compatible with me, instead of becoming a virtual NT. Changing myself into a virtual NT would be pointless anyway, since I don't have the social endurance to carry off the charade for very long.

By the way, if you really want to facilitate the process of actually entering a relationship, you HAVE to make some guy friends so that they can hopefully at least introduce you to their sisters and whatnot. Even so, it looks much better to be chatting in a group at the bar, because girls will think that you just came to hang with your buds instead of scope them out like a jackal. Also, if girls see you hanging out with friends, they will assume that you are normal and social enough to have friends in the first place, and they will consider giving you a real shot. It ALWAYS looks better to be part of the group and give off the appearance of being "on the social chain." Sitting at the bar drinking by yourself is never attractive; it looks much more natural and comfortable to be in a conversaton. The more people you know, the more single girls they will know who they will help set you up with. Also, if you want, be sure to talk to and be nice to everyone you meet; you never know who has a single daughter or grand-daughter that they might be willing to introduce you to. You might not want to talk to little old ladies or what not, but you never know what single hot girl they might know. In anycase, the worse thing that can happen is that you maintain your status quo.

Still, I think if I could sum it up in one sentence...........

To get a girl to want to date you, all you have to do is look and act like you are someone worth dating, which means changing everything about the way you are living your life at this moment.

Most women wanted to be treated like female human beings, not male human beings. Equal, but different. It is also something that has been helpful to me and may not apply to anyone else: the realisation that treating women the same as men was, for me at least, the main cause that would result in a lifetime of rejection.

It doesn't mean 'worse' or 'better', but it is very different. I guess it is confusing and may be more so as as result of 'black and white thinking'. One more thing, there is a huge, huge difference between *always* treating women as sex 'objects' and being capable of *occasionally* treating a women as a sexual 'being'.

<getting worried about hijacking Alex's thread>

It is these kinds of narrow, extremist comments that will greatly discourage most Aspergians from taking even a minute step forward in a quest to find a mate.

They do not need to alter their entire lifestyle. They must be able to indulge their interests and obsessions, and find ways to regain the energy that socializing saps from them. Many of their coping mechanisms may be fine as are.

It's a matter of pin-pointing the mechanisms that are hindering their progress in this field, and letting go of those.

You can't seriously suggest that a few "tweaks" are all it takes to thrive in the dating game. Lets face it, the AS guy is the antithesis of what women want. I understand not wanting to accept "narrow, extremist" thinking, but come on. Anyone who has AS knows it will take serious effort, hard work, and alot of lifestyle changes, but it can be done. The hard, cold truths are REALITY. You will have to become as much like an NT guy as possible. This is not meant to discourage anyone from trying to date, but the fact is that most girls won't like you the way you are right now. Wether or not you will make the necessary changes to your life is up to you.

We can go back and forth all day about the details, arguing endlessly about what women really want, but the fact is that nothing will change for you until you put in some serious effort and get off the computer. Even if you spend alot of time trying to talk to girls already, doing the same failed methods over and over again is useless. The heart of the problem is that you, in your present form, is completely unviable as a romantic partner, and you have to roll up your sleeves and make changes if you want to date. A woman is not going to be with a guy who spends all day playing video games for very long, if at all. You have to be able to challenge and impress her. It helps to possess and cultivate a talent.

Last edited by Brusilov on 14 May 2009, 4:25 am, edited 1 time in total.

Congratulations on creating the first straw man of the day on WrongPlanet.

In my experience, AS is NOT the antithesis of what a female wants. It's an exaggeration of an extreme male brain. We only become socially uncalibrated due to social conditioning in our school years. In fact, our lack of social awareness gives us the advantage of being truly nonreactive to certain things a woman says that an NT guy would respond to and thus lower his attraction level in the girl's eyes.

We just need to calibrate our behaviors and this comes with practice. When we do become truly good, I believe that we become incredibly attractive to women, moreso than NT guys. I've gotten into situations where girls are fascinated by my personality and attracted much more than they would be to a good looking NT dude.

So now let us find out how to actually calibrate our behaivors. Share with us.