The Love Logic

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I've noticed that we're bringing a lot of our individual experiences on relationships into the forum and I know we've all been thinking of a to explain it. Why not start from the simplest explanation and work our way to harder issues?

So, you want a girl to like you, but you have no idea what she's thinking and all you can do is valiantly try to impress her and consider yourself lucky when it works. You should realize that this girl might or might not have a level of contentment, she holds on to it just like you do to yours. If she's already content, she has no reason to add you to her life, she doesn't look at you and feel it necessary to have you in her life, this is a feeling you have for her, if she is content, it is your job to somehow convince her that she is not content with her environment, most of you are smart enough to know you can't walk up to her and tell her that she is missing you in her life, you have to trick her into thinking it.

Now this doesn't mean that you're decietful, you don't have to think of her as stupid, in fact you might want to think of her as being around your intellect, because every now and then you will need to put yourself into her perspective and analyze what you might do if you were her, this is where conventional logic will fade and your imagination will have to begin, but after doing some heavy rading, this is as close to accurate as I can explain it with any logic.

Okay, so I guess what you have to do is send that idea to her that she isn't content and you have to do it in a way that she might not realize, she can realize what you're up to, but that only depends on how it would affect the outcome.

Say for instance, you want to tell her you like her, if you have a pretty strong hunch she likes you, you might want to come out and say it, because continuing to hint at something that both of you are beginning to realize could insult her intelligence as it would yours.

Now consider that she doesn't like you, it is your objective to convince her that you are a worthwhile addition to her routine. This can be very difficult to achive and the fact that many of us have strong feelings makes this step difficult to do. We want her now, we've longed for her, she is a part of our lives and we have to make her see it.

She doesn't see it though, in fact she might not even know you exist. You have to understand that you have evaluated your feelings for her and she wasn't aware of it, every noble or worthwhile intention you had isn't being conveyed to her. And the harder you try to push this concept on her, the more likely she is to avoid you.

You have to use logic in the place of those emotions, an apt seducer is in a stage of contentment, you might even feel as though you are thinking like a computer, but you have a leg up on a computer. A computer doesn't understand what you see in her, the computer can't tell her that out of all the noses you've ever seen, that her irregularly shaped nose is the most beautiful and captivating of them all.

You have to explain your emotions with logic sometimes, if you love her, you must offer her a suitable reason and guide her to it if you can.

Sometimes you can just explain your logic with emotions, and I'm not sure what emotions you have to express, but if you can't find a palatable way to express your emotions to her, she might not see you as human.

Every time you go further into this logic, more questions seem to pop up, more questions can ultimately lead to a state of discontentment if they are not answered logically, it is sometimes necessary to leave the thought process for awhile to reobtain a level of contentment needed to continue, a lower level of contentment will lead to more limited percieved possibilities.

If you wonder what contentment is I'll explain it. A man see's a sandwich and realizes he's hungry, he's no longer content, he eats the sandwich and has contentment. Now a new problem may arise at any time and make him hungry again, but he is now content because he ate his sandwich, he can now consider the rest of his possibilities. That is contentment, it isn't some unforseen force, it is the feeling that you have everything you need.

I had no business having the hots for her the way I did, she was a married woman, happily married I maight add. But emotions aren't something I can control, she gave me a feeling of peace and contentment everytime I was around her, this soon turned into love. I didn't like to aknowledge those feelings and hid every indication I could from her, I wasn't going to lose my contentment by embarrasing myself.

I still love her in a way, I don't have to have her because my contentment can be found elsewhere and she doesn't influence all of it. But I'd like to think I could talk to her. I imagine telling her what I saw in her, that she had leadership qualities and that you always felt calm with her around. I always sensed a very nurturing nature about her, she loved to take care of people, I could tell her that I am at a confusing time in my life and that I always found her guidance insightful. I could just ask her if it's okay for me to shoot her a line every now and then, after all, she did mention to me at some point that if I needed anything I could ask her. What I realize here is that I'm evaluating what I see in her and what I feel she might be willing to part with. It's okay if she doesn't accept that request, it doesn't matter, I know what I like in a woman and there are still more around, I still meet them. But if she does find that request reasonable, I have days to construct the letter that she will end up seeing. This is feels like a riddle now. Lots of you like riddles, I can appreciate them.

Hey, sorry I keep doing this, I keep thinking of anther thing to say, I always picture that everone on WP is watching me when I type, this is a little unsettling and makes me lose my train of thought. I just wanted to ask that if you're going to read any this, that you'll leave your emotions at the door. And if you have anything to elaborate on or add, try to use logic to explain yourself. I mean I know somebody might've hurt you in the past, but you have to let this pain go if you ever plan on moving forward because if you illogically associate pain with love, you're gonna end up with what you imagined.

The thread title is flawed from the outset. There is no 'logic' to love, that is why it's such a problem for people who are autistic.

True, but we all know how to use logic to solve problems, in reality, we should be teaching AS through guided reasoning and logic to relate one idea to the next. Besides, I'm AS and I gel laid

It's hard enough for NTs.

What was worse for me was probably not so much the ones I thought were interested who turned out were not, but also those who were and I never got to know because nobody told me direct. Those were worse because they were genuine missed opportunities for me rather than just a bad rejection experience.

I think Aspies may be more desperate than NTs to be in a relationship too because I think we need it more:
- Having a partner means you always have someone to go out with. I guess many of us do not have many "mates" like others do, and if there are "mates" with whom you socialise, doing so is possibly a harder experience.

It takes two whole people to make a relationship work, not two halves. The more content a woman is, the more likely the relationship is to work. Intimacy is a want, not a need, for a healthy individual.

If a woman is content, the logical thing to do is simply to show her how you can enhance her life and become the "icing on her cake."

I agree with whitetiger. I want a girl to be content enough without me that she gets into a relationship because she wants to, not because she needs it. Otherwise there is too much of a chance that she will be really clingy.

I'm not content with my life being totally lacking in physical intimacy, but I'd also not be content with another person in my life constantly. And aside from my desire to get to know a girl and be sexually active, most of my life is perfectly fine without another person to complete it.

I see a lot of NTs who just have to be in a relationship or else they feel really uncomfortable. I think this contributes to some of them having an overwhelming need for commitment, in that the dread of lacking a relationship is almost as important a factor as the pleasure of having one.