Conflicting Interests in Relationships

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I notice that the trend is going away from the traditional "house with a picket fence and 2.5 kids". However, I am still one of the die-hard traditionalists when it comes to relationships and family.

I keep hearing that today's notion of "dating" is more like hanging out at someone's house, and never referring to each other as boyfriend and girlfriend.

Is the traditional approach becoming a thing of the past?

Last edited by Tim_Tex on 23 Apr 2009, 10:09 am, edited 3 times in total.

You mean are the 50s dead? yes they are dead. Though if you are up for it I sure there is a group where you can can dress up in an wig and hold a jello party.

What I meant was that people are hanging out, without ever living together or getting married, or starting a family. In other words, more of a "friend with benefits"-type situation than an actual relationship.

And I am worried that my traditional dating views are keeping me from ever finding someone. Also, I am worried that the fact that I'm a Christian is an obstacle--because (1) many people with the same interests as me are not religious and often have left-wing political views, and (2) people automatically assume that I am somehow bigoted and intolerant because of my Christian faith.

My interests are animated sitcoms (especially the Simpsons and South Park), comedy, and some indie/foreign films.

I'm Lutheran, thus far from being a "fundie".

Yet I don't feel that I can sell out.

People can choose to do what tradition tells them or to do what they think is right for them. Sometimes tradition is going to lose.

But yes, more people are saying "stuff tradition".

Living by themselves, not getting married and/or not having children.

\o/ for choice. Just wish it was available to more people worldwide.

Jello party conventions would be a good place to start

Loads of people who like Simpsons, South Park and indie/foreign films get married and have children.

Yet what makes them "traditional"? The Simpson'saccording Matt Groening was influenced by comedic ideas of his own 50s upbringing. My point is "traditional" often refers to specific attempt create a social ideal like Victorianism or 50s perfect family life, when the reality was a completely different story.

Tim_Tex as long as you don't mind South park making fun of Lutherans you should be alright.

My ideal match would be another Aspie (because I still feel that we have no incentive to lie or cheat), who has the same interests, is a Christian, and adheres to the same traditional dating/relationship views.

That's one thing that has been on my mind lately. What is the deal with The Simpsons and South Park anyway? Is there something I'm missing here?

Not making fun or anything, just wondering.

theyre good satirical cartoons, w south park being a bit more edgy and daring than the simpsons.
i like them both, cus theyre different. SP often has a more "todays topic"-oriented style.

I am convinced that people who like the Simpsons and South Park are more socially liberal and open-minded than people who don't.

Yet most people who watch those shows are atheist, agnostic, or practice some sort of paganism. Virtually no Christians watch them.

And I also mentioned that I am also looking for another Aspie, yet the majority of them are not Christians, and don't want kids.

People are turned off by the fact that I don't support abortion, I don't support same-sex marriage, I normally vote Republican, my dream car is an SUV and not a Toyota Prius, I don't devote all my time to saving (insert endangered species here), I supported the war in Iraq, and I'm not a vegetarian.

The only reason I voted for Obama is because I thought people would like me better than if I voted for McCain.

Some of the time you say you want libertarians, other times you say you want traditionalists. It is clear you don't know what you want.

You don't think much for yourself, you decisions are based on trying to emulate incorrect interpretations of other people's lifestyles.

This is obviously something that is problematic with you, as you keep posting about. It I am sorry you are stuck in this loop, can’t be much fun. Sometimes I admit I wonder if it some clever wind up. But if not you need to learn that things aren’t so black and white and figure out your like and dislikes for yourself, and worry less about what other people think.

The thing is that virtually no conservative Christian female Aspies like the things I like, so I basically end up selling out those beliefs so I can attract those who do have the same interests. If I tell the truth about my beliefs, the (primarily liberal) people with those beliefs will refuse to date me because of their perceived stereotypes of conservatives.

They'll think "He must hate gay people" or "he doesn't care about the environment", or other similar things. I am not homophobic, and I do care about the environment.

You should get out of Texas, to be honest. The south is more conservative in general compared to the north (don't they still fly confederate flags in some places?)... If you moved to some more progressive areas, you would find that the term "liberal christian" need not be an oxymoron... Hell, I live in a church, and I know a good deal of people that are christians while still being into South Park. On top of that, at least where I live, marriages between people of two different faiths and each retaining their own faith is a common occurance (although one of the partners converting is also common...) Maybe it stems from the fact that NJ (Where I live) has the most eclectic spread of religious association (we have more jews per capita than Florida, we lead the nation in number of Muslims, and also a LOT of athiests...), that certain arrangements have to be made... So you find that the % of christians around here that are intolerant is a lot lower than in the south, probably just from the experience of other cultures in everyday life...

As for your OP, yeah, traditionalism in terms of the 50s is probably dead, but the idea of having a loving long-lasting relationship certainly is not, especially if my family is any measure... Yes, there have been a couple unplanned pregnancies between unmarried people (including one teen pregnancy), but in my lifetime (and probably my parents lifetime), there has not been a single divorce in our family... my parents actually had to explain it all to me back when I was about 7 when I first heard the word on TV, since the concept was so alien to me at the time...

That "tradition" is about 50-60 years old - traditionalism is the constant fight of what is familiar attempting to prevent the change of what will come. Somewhat akin to learning social interaction from the Dick Van Dyke show.


M.

Thing is you also don't compromise so you can't exactly complain.