Ex causing drama and twisting words

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Ok, so dont know how to explain this as it's most likely going to be abit confusing, so i will give a little explanation
(And what i write might be abit confusing)


I broke up with my ex long ago, around August, it was unstable for some time, but ended with a "boom" abit after October Or so. Both of us going each our own ways and ignore/blocking each other. Yeah, it was a internet relationship, but we had gotten it so far to that i had visited her 3 times(first time was only with her for 1 day cause we kept it a secret from her mother, 2nd time 1 week at her house, since he mother found out and had nothing against it, and 3rd, and last, 2 weeks) (i live in denmark, and she lives in England)

But yeah, that should give abit insight i guess.
Like i said, we both went our own ways, i guess we both have our own reasons.

For me, even after we broke up i tried to be friends with her, but her damn immature friends, urgh.
It's the typical "Oh hey, look, they are a couple now, lets be his friend" And after we of course break up, her friends turn into the most immature bunch of idiots : /
(They are around 16-17 and i was around 18 then, 19 now)

They all of a sudden begin to make fun of me and stuff. And my ex changed completely. Turning into something she wasn't. Began to kiss guys she hadn't known for more than a few days, getting into relationships and breaking up right away again. And that made me take my distance, cause i thought it was wrong, so that was why for me (there is more stuff, but really, to much detail and stuff)

So all that happend around more than over half a year, and all of a sudden(1-2 weeks ago), i get a message on myspace from some guy who said some weird crap to me, or in other words, stuff that gave no meaning. I checked out his profile and saw he lived where my ex did, and had her on his friendlist to, knew right away that he most likely was her new boyfriend or something else.

I asked him if something was wrong or if he wanted anything.

Cause really, i'm not looking for drama or trouble, so i tried to talk back to him in a serious manner, but all he did is say more crap and say he was high on red bull and that he sended the same message to "the majority of people" and i wasn't on his list of friends, so i told him i very well know that his girlfriend (my ex) had a hand in this, and that she's just using him like she did with me. And of course, his tone changes and he makes fun of me then. I answer back again in a serious manner, and then my ex responds with a few things, for why i was such a "crappy boyfriend" which at first after reading what she wrote did make me wonder if i would ever become a good boyfriend (lol, only had 2 relationships anyway thou), but after thinking about what she wrote, i realized i had a counter to all of it and had it better then.

Now, i would really like to hear about other peoples opinions

A few of the things she brought up was

The promise ring i had bought her back when we were together was crappy cause it only costed 6£ -.-
To that i can defend myself with, that i had almost every other day i was staying over at her place, bought her stuff almost each day /ranging from 30-50£ or so almost each day : /

That i never took her out anywhere, to like restaurants(sp?)
my defence to that is, i have only been where she lived 3 times in my life, how the hell am i supposed to know where to find a good restaurant? : /, and besides, she always wanted to eat in Mcdonalds anyway -.-

Or that i was jack ass lazy and wanted to be inside all the time
Again, seriously, i came from another country, alone, and having to go almost each day out and buy her gifts....it's tiresome, and i just wanted some days to be inside and rest

Or that i cry to much : /
Ok, sorry, i'm a sensetiv person. And it dosnt exactualy help when she each day talked about how her life was sh***y, and thatshe argued with her mom all the time, and was close to getting kicked out and live on the streets, or take drugs, or commit suicside. WoW, really. dosnt help

Or that i was to dominating.
Wait wat? o.O, seriously, i bend my will in favor to what she wanted. If there was something she didn't want or like, we didn't do it. I tried to do as much as what she wanted to make her happy

She also said i made her feel uncomfortable with calling her alot
Ok, she never told me that when we were together, and i thought i should call alot, since i dont live where she does to kind of compensate for not being around there for her.

She also came up with how her new boyfriend dosnt tell her not to wear make up.
LoL, the only reason i had ASKED her to, was because she was SO insecure about her looks that she would NOT leave the house without her make-up on, if i would kiss her on the cheek, she had to put make up on again. I wanted her to know that she still looked nice without make-up, but no, she twists my words around and makes me look like some evil person. Which is the same thing she did towards me, when she talked about her other ex'es

She also brought up other things, but to everything, i could easely say something back to defend myself.
She also said how her new boyfriend is twice as mature as me -.-


Now, i would like to know, if I am the one who has done something wrong, or if it's her.
I would say it's her, cause seriously, i wanted to ignore her, cause as long as me and her talk after it went downhill, it got worse.
Her boyfriend twice as mature as me? I dont think so, those 2 together arent even enough to reach the bottom of my feet when it's maturity, but thats my opnion. I just want to know others opnion on this matter : /

....Oh dear.

Don't take serious...well don't take ANYONE you mentioned serious.

Most likely they're a bunch of volatile children.

I am QUITE enraged after reading this, so, belive me here:

If anyone does not make rational sense, they forego any and all right to be considered.

If someone talks poo and asks to be taken seriously, I have to control myself not to laugh at them.

It's like...it's like somebody screaming: HELLO WORLD, I AM GOD, KNEEL TO ME....and then they fall on their knees and squeal: "The world won't kneel to me, they hate me".
(Sorry for the inflation, it helps to see the big picture, now scale it down 0.1%. There ya go!)

USUALLY, when people break up, social relations change. Obviously, you were dating someone who has a LOT of hate in her heart, and more issues then anyone should have. Her boyfriend, well, he's an idiot, and is quite frankly outclassed by a chimp with access to a TV set. He's not someone you should actually take into account when evaluating your actions or existence. This also goes for your ex's little swarm of harpies. Just /ignore or laugh. Your call.

Your ex, on the other hand may have the intellect to make sense, but, and I don't know why, she's turned to hate you. Most things she says are most likely meant to get at you. Be that directly(Hurting you) Or indirectly(Making idiots stampede you with drunken nonsense). This most likely means she's a sad person who can't handle life not working out the way she wants and should also NOT be taken seriously.

On a constructive note: This is the point when a person loses the right to be heard out. Feel free to slam the door in their faces. Literally AND proverbially.

And may the force be with you.

ugh. I think you shouldn't waste one second of your life even asking these kinds of questions. You should ignore her and her boyfriend completely. That she's trying to bother you so long after your relationship ended ..whatever, it's better that it bothers her than it bothers you, let her be the twit and don't bother with them.

If it were me answering their questions I'd just respond in a self deprecating manner, it tends to take the wind out of an idiots sails.

I can't explain why people act like they do, but they obviously think of it as a form of loyalty to your ex.
I'd say that by even contacting these people, even if in responce, you're keeping your memory fresh in their minds. They're gonna hate you, not matter how irrational and immature that is, because their hatred was never based on logic. Just ignore their existence.
Maybe in time they'll forget their hatred. It may not be impossible to break these barriers, but I doubt it's worthwhile.

I tried to stay friends with my ex for years. She wanted that friendship too, but bitter feelings kept arising and I can't even stand to be in the same room as that girl anymore.

One of the advantages of breaking up with someone is, you get to say f**k them. Hatred is usually destructive, but it has its uses.

Oh yeah, forgot to mention she also has Aspergers.

Also rememberd another thing she said now.
And that was that i i called her a back-stabbing-bitch once, when we were friends.
And yeah, there was a misunderstanding. She had a friend with her at home, a gay guy, i've never liked that guy, not cause he's gay, but there just was this annoying thing about him. So he was writing me lame stuff, and also sended some voice clips
and in one of them i heard my ex laugh, and i did she laughed because that guy made fun of me. And i thought she was siding with him, she thats why i had called her that. She later on when he was gone and stuff explained to me that she laughed cause her mother had also told her something funny. God knows if it's true or not. But yeah, i said sorry for caling her what i did.
But still, she brought that up, saying i had calledher that.....Seriously, i HAD said sorry, and it was a MISUNDERSTANDING.
She brought it up whenever things were unstable, and when it was stable, she said "I know, you didn't mean it"
urgh, seriously, how can one twist words so much?

Well anyway.
We had known each other for about 1 year before we got into a relation back then, and the relation lasted really long to.
BUT, it was unstable several times.

Whenever she would find someone who lived around where she did, she would kinda dump me, or it was really unstable, dont know hwo to explain. first time it happend was in, 2007. She met some guy who she had only known for a few days, and he confessed to her on her birthday, and she accepted him and dumped me. And again, that guy acted like the prince in shining armor and said crap to me. Whont be surprised if she had said stuff to him. 1 week after or so, they broke up, and i was of course naive and stupid and took her back cause i still loved her.
Another time was when it was around winter(entering 2008). There she began to hang out with other people she normaly dosnt and drink alcohol, and there was some guy again, closeto where she lived, she liked him but didn't know if he had a bf or not. So she kinda blew off our relation again there, but we got back together again, cant remember if it's cause she found out he had someone. And then in febuary we me finnaly met, from there it was stable until august. And in the middle of august we broke up. This time dunno why. But i know she had already found some other guy again. So was somewhat unstable for some good amount of time until i've had enough.

And yeah, i was in love back then, ignoring things like that. I shouldn't have. I would have been able to avoid all this mess if i just saw what kind of person she was faster

Also when webroke up but still talked, and she made those "quizes" on myspace, when it was a question about her ex(me), she either didn't answer, or freaking deny my existence alltogether : /. Or another one with "Have you ever kissed someone who's name began with S"(my name starts with S) and she responded no.
I mean seriously? : /




@LivingOutsideTheBox

I dont take any of what she said serious now, but when i first read it, it did strike me and i did wonder if i was such a crappy boyfriend, but like i said, i saw/rememberd that all of what she wrote is twisted or importent detail is missing, so she could frame me as the bad guy. She's also talked badly about her other ex'es when i was with her, thats for sure. Either saying that it wasn't really a relationship or that the person was a jerk or stuff



@mikebw

Well he reason why she might have botherd me was because, one of her friends (luckely not someone who lives where she does, but in wales) has also become my friend, and she was mature, she didn't care about what happend between me and my ex. So i guess she must have seen my profile on her friends profile, and then decided to make her bf send those crappy messages.
And also, Even if i try to talk in a serious manner back, i still do hate her extremly much, if possible, i wish her all the worst in the world, cause i find in no way what she did was fair. Ok, she broke up, people break up, i know. But what she did was more, she used me, i dont know wether it was knowing or unconcious she did it. And then talk badly behind my back


@TheMidnightJudge

Ya, i know, seriously, she hates me, and i hate her.
If possible i bet we would both love to give each other the hardest time on earth.
Seriously, now, me and her are a combination that you just dont want to try


But yeah, i think that if we had to make everything alot moer simple.
We should maybe just agree that she was a attention seeking drama queen.
If i put it that way, it actualy makes very much sense.
Framing others, making herself look like the victim and getting non-stop attention

It just internet drama. Dont sweat it. Shes probably just bored. You are a good looking guy. You should be able to find someone in Denmark to have a proper relationship with because what you described doesnt really sound like one.