Disapproval from women you haven't asked out

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I want to express something we could call 'uncalled for rejection.'

This is women who reject men whom haven't shown interest in them and as to why they do it. How should a guy respond when treated in such a way? Any coping strategies? Don't wanna be a serial killer nor a forced monk.

Example 1: Just the other day I was standing at a bus stop and there were 3 young women (about 18-years-old), guy walks past --who obviously doesn't know them-- and the girls go "Ewww...gross..disgusting...no way" just loud enough for him to know, verbally expressing their sexual disapproval. He was skinny and about 5ft6. Guy must feel sh***y and anger towards women but just carries on oblivious. I don't see guys do it to women, except very young boys (-16) who aren't mature and it's usually a fat women who's familiar to them socially. Women seem to do it well into their 20s (in their sexual prime I guess) and especially in a "hen night" setting when they feel safe by numbers.

Example 2: Group of students of mixed gender enter a pub, gather around a pub table, there are two seats to fill and one of the girls has to next to a certain guy. Both women push each other saying "you go first...no you go..no you..." as though they are reluctant to sit next to him, like he's got the bubonic plague or something. I've seen the same thing happen when getting in a cab or car and cinemas. Other people in the group pick up on these females behavior but don't do anything about them being being extremely rude and just generally feel sorry for the guy that's the victim.

I have spoken on dating boards about it and the general response is that these women are "b*****s, 'ladettes', shallow, sexist and have no morals", and the advice is to avoid such women at all costs. I even spoke about it to a counsellor(s) and they said it's "paranoia", another said "gosh....these women sound like 12". I agree it is more common for loutish women to behave that way but from my experiences it comes from women that are educated & mature (and increasing) so avoidance is merely impossible.

Hows a guy to meet women when this happens? I used to get what happened in example 1 quite a lot, well into my mid 20's ( I was a late physical developer). It stopped me from going out and mixing normally. I had avoidance strategies back in college; if i saw a group of women on the steps, and I was the only male walking towards them to use the access door, I would take a different route altogether.

I don't know whether it's just bad company.

Is there an ALPHA male body type or look; you have to be tall 'n' strapping/athletic to not get such abuse etc. I notice it's usually short guys that aren't "hot" in the face whom fall victim, or lack physical maturity and strength for their age (typically women from all social stratus want older lookin' guy). Most 'self help' books for men deal with a lot physical improvement aspects; becoming larger-bodied that's all.

It only re-enforces that women go by looks only cos they aren't willing to know your personality and will happily chop you down if you look freaky...even though you weren't interested in them.

I think this not a problem pertaining to women. I'd bet men do this a lot more often than women, judge based on appearance =P

And how to deal with it? Easy, just dont care. It's as simple as that, why in the hell would you care for even a milisecond what someone you do not know said about you?

Boys in school buses would yell out to me from their windows their disapproval (approval?) of me in offensive and vulgar language. I don't go out enough nowadays to notice that kind of rude behavior from either men or women. Sometimes I notice women in stores make comments about other people as they walk by. In my experience, women do tend to be rather abusive and callous . Not all women, but it certainly seems to be a female trend to put down others and find fault in appearances. Now I'm wondering about the evolutionary significance of such behavior or if it transcends cultures and boundaries... hrmm...

In the time period from elementary school through high school, boys would pretty much treat me the same way as in examples 1 and 2.

I find, after trying just about every method under the sun, that the best way to counter "pack bullying" (as I call this sort of phenomenon) is to have a pack of your own. A.k.a. make them feel unsafe in their status by making your own status higher or equal to theirs.

You will notice packs of people tend to do this to people walking alone; this is because people walking alone are perceived as vulnerable and weak, thus the pack feels safe attacking them (safety in numbers).

If you go out, maybe try going out with a good male friend, or with your own group, or even with a girl who's a friend (if you have that). This raises your status and power according to the pack, and they are more wary about attacking you.

Of course, this all sounds rather basic and animalistic (the actual thought processes involved are much more complex), but this is the underlying factor that I have seen time and time again.

I think maybe on some level they have such a negative gut reaction to the person's presence that the bullying is an effort to make them go away as an instinct to protect themselves. The person being ostracized usually has something distasteful about them that they might not be aware of, such as being unattractive, overweight, poor hygiene, strange or bizarre behavior, having said something that makes people now feel uneasy around them, etc. that sets off an instinctive alarm that's rooted somewhere in our evolutionary history that says something like "This person may pass on some disease to me" "This person may try to force unwanted sexual attention on me," "This person is mentally ill and therefore unsafe to be around," "This person may try to harm me," or any other variant. It may not make logical sense, but throughout human history it has been better to be safe than sorry. Sure, people can be dicks, but they're usually dicks for a reason.

My best explanation for the women's behavior toward unattractive men is that the women want to ENSURE that the men will not even try to make an effort to be sexual towards them, because they are repulsed by those particular men. On a cognitive level this is cruel, but it makes perfect reproductive sense since the cost is much higher to women.

Summary in very stereotypical human reproduction terms:
The woman's job is to be choosy and picky about who she reproduces with, to ensure healthy offspring and a father who will help raise and support the children. Quality.
The man's job is to find as many fertile, attractive women who are willing to reproduce with him as he can, in order to pass on his genes to as many offspring as he can. Quantity.

This is the cause of many of the world's woes, but also the reason we have survived as a species.

I've never had this happen to me. Which come to think of it I find strange because I'm out alone pretty much exclusively.

Maybe I am intimidating so they don't try it. I know that if I hear something like that aimed at me I'd get ticked off and call those broads every dirty name in the book, very loudly. Maybe they can sense that so they don't bait me.

I'm also pretty big. If they do this to small guys this makes me glad I'm big. It sounds like pure bullying to me. I do know some short, slight, effeminate guys that are very popular with women so I think it's more than that. But it sounds to me that a small guy is less intimidating and therefore an easier target.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rgtfv-Q7F48[/youtube]

A simple "Stick it," or "Feeling's mutual" is usually my response. I used to be intimidated by these types, but I now, I could care less. I try to be nice to everyone, but I refuse to be a doormat. Some of them even have the nerve to be offended when I sling a barb back at them. They'll ask, "What did you (he) just say?" I respond with, "are you deaf?," or something like that. Now that I am older, I do not get that as much. Just be prepared to defend yourself physically as well as verbally since some of these types have boyfriends that like to throw their might around. Learning some common self defense tactics or carrying around some sort of equalizer (I carry my heavy keychain on a lanyard) may be a good idea if you run into problems alot.