Pushy Guy

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Ok, so about my date on Saturday, one thing did happen that I got really annoyed and mad about. We sat down at the restaurant, and immediately, he wanted to order me a drink...knowing that I don't/don't like to drink. I told him no, and yet, he went ahead and ordered me one anyways. I drank a little through the meal, and then didn't want anymore, and he was like, "You're not going to drink anymore??" And I said, "Nope. I don't want anymore." And then he said, "It was expensive," in a coaxing voice...I almost DIED when he said that.! !

I HATE pushy guys! I can't stand when a guy guilts me into things, especially drinking, or something I really don't want to do. What do you all think about this?? Wasn't it pushy and cheap of him or am I missing something??

Ugh. I was so excited for you that he had asked you out... (and a little wistful, even )

That said, it doesn't mean he's a completley closed case. That did seem a skanky and manipulative thing to do. You need to be very careful with this one. From the few details we have, it sounds like he uses alcohol as a social lubricant, and expects you to do the same. It could be that he is a big drinker and it makes him feel uncomfortable/abnormal to be with someone who isn't. That's still a slippery slope.

Either that, or he just wanted to get you drunk for his own purposes, like Janissy said. Just be sure take care o' you. You sound far more circumspect than I could be after a date like that.

he was trying to get you drunk so...yeaaa. Definitely not a guy to be long term with...sorry =(

That's too bad, but I'm not so sure he was trying to get you drunk. It could be that he's a regular drinker and can't see how you can possibly have fun without alcohol. I'm a total non-drinker, and various people have been pressuring me all my life to have a drink, to loosen up, etc. (Usually, these people are alcoholics, and want everyone around them to be as miserable as they are.)

To me, though, this is a warning sign. It's not like he was saying, "You have to try these nachos," and then insisting you try them. Alcohol, like sex and drugs, are one of those areas where no means no, and he really should have listened. But not everyone listens. He may have been nervous and not thinking clearly about what he was saying.

If you want to go out with him again, I say go. But don't drink with him, and see how he reacts. If he's the type of person who needs alcohol to socialize, then drop him. You can do better.

Thanks for your replies everyone! I talked to my mom about it, and she said I'm getting worked up over nothing. She's like, "No one likes to drink alone. It's boring to drink and have the other person too uptight just sitting there not drinking...." I somewhat agree with this, but still...pushy pushy.

But she told me that he did wrong in pushing me anyways.

I don't think he should of pushed you to drink, at all. If he know's you don't drink, then he should of never ordered you a drink in the first place. Plain and simple. And the fact that he tried to push you to drink it, is even worse.

It sounds to me like he was trying to get you drunk and......


I'll let you use your imagination to finish that.

yea this guy sounds like a mess. maybe he was trying to impress you, who knows. and you should've pointed it out to him. Give him another chance and see how it goes, but if he acts stupid again then drop him

Yeah, i agree, you should probably give him another shot. If he tries the same crap again, then you know.

with both above me. Social anxiety or not, that was a sleazy manipulative move. Both pushing you into drinking, and guilting you by bringing up money in relation to you. This sounds sus, he definitely had bad intentions. If I were you I wouldn't see him again.

Ps. Don't give him another chance, because if you do he will likely assume that you'll put up with that behaviour and it'll be harder to set limits if he does it again. He's already ignored one "no".

The guy clearly has no respect for you, i suggest you don't go out on another date, or speak to him again. It would only be wasting your time.